Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny...

For the past several days I have been getting out in the back yard at nap times and working on my garden. When I suddenly got spring garden fever last Friday, I did a little research and found that some of the things that I want to plant this spring need to be already planted or planted very soon. So, I had to start figuring out where I want everything to go this year, how to best use the space I have, and how not to spend a ton of money in the process. I was reminded that, though extremely rocky, our back yard has areas where the soil is absolutely DIVINE, and perfect for planting (once you remove the rocks). Because I didn't want to spend a ton of money on building another raised bed and filling it with new soil, I decided to confiscate the back corner of the yard for some of the bigger plants I want to grow.

{do you hear me zucchini? I'm gonna put you in your place!}

In the corner I would like to put the zucchini, maybe some onion and possibly some green beans (pole) if I can find some trellis for them to climb (anybody tossing some old trellis? I'll take it off your hands!). I would also like to plant a couple of berry bushes (possibly blackberries and raspberries) and an apple tree, but I have to come up with the money to purchase those first.

I may have to put the berry bushes and apple tree in the side yard though - I don't want to deal with all the bees they will attract. The regular garden is bad enough about that.

So, like I said, each day at nap time I throw on a jacket, grab the shovel and go to work. Oh. My. Aching. Back.

But it is so worth it. I pulled out a big, obnoxious bush/plant/viney/weird thing out of the corner (well, Hubby did most of the pulling, but I helped) and I cleared out a lot of the weeds and rocks and wood pieces and trash that had accumulated there over the years. It is amazing what kinds of things hide in yard brush. I think the dog thought it was her own personal toy box.

The rocks are the biggest obstacle. Their size varies from silver dollar to human head and so it is difficult to unearth them. On Sunday I thought I had struck a pipe. I was, after all, digging along the fence line. And though I was only a few inches down in the soil, I was afraid that perhaps over time the yard had eroded and I was really close to something I shouldn't be. It was enough to stop me for the day, and when I came back to it the next day I was happy to find that it was only a very large number of rocks. Thankfully with some digging I should be able to get them out of there. When pulling the weeds, I thought some of them looked vaguely like herbs and sure enough, after digging down a little further, I uncovered some old plant information tabs (like what they put in the pots at the garden center to identify the plants) that someone had left in the ground. I am guessing there were several kinds of herbs planted there at one time, and the "weeds" left were from those plantings. I also unearthed a bunch of wild onion, which kind of irked me because I can't seem to get onion to grow in my planted beds. Oh well.

I have one raised bed completely empty. I think it is going to be a bean bed. I want to have lots of bean plants this year. I really enjoyed growing those last spring and fall. The other bed will be for tomatoes, peppers and basil, along with the things already taking up half the space. Right now in there I have garlic, carrots, onion, broccoli and spinach. Yesterday I planted a few more broccoli seeds, some spinach seeds and some lettuce seeds. I have peppers and tomatoes hopefully sprouting in starter "pots" (an old egg carton) on top of my refrigerator. They should be ready to transplant by their plant dates in early March.

My garlic is doing well. Though had I thought it through a little I would have planted them off to the side of one of the beds. They have to be in the ground until almost summer. There are a couple of baby spinach plants in the background of the image below. They survived the freeze too. I planted some new seeds around them yesterday. Hopefully I can get a decent crop of spinach this year.
And the carrots also survived the freezes we had, though I am not sure they are actually going to grow anything. They have been in the ground since October I think.
But this little guy, oh I have such high hopes for him! I was about to pull this plant because I thought that it was never going to grow anything. I was very surprised when I took a closer look. Can you see it?
Here, let me help you...
eeeeeeee!!!! (now imagine me saying this in a high, squeaky voice) It's a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty baby broccoli!!! *big toothy grin*

I just love gardening.

Until,
D :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Ice Cream

So Saturday night the big boy and I got to have our date night. I took him to the musical at the elementary school. He had to sit in my lap the entire time because he couldn't see, and after about 15 minutes he turned to me and asked when they would be finished. It was pretty cute. He did really great though; he stayed relatively quiet throughout the almost 2 hour production. But, it was hard for him to stay focused. He didn't really know the story (Willy Wonka) and it was hard to understand the kids. But he did so well that I was relieved and proud. I hope it is a seguay to more theater and musical productions in the future. I would love to take him to a professional show some time.

After the musical we stopped at Sonic for some ice cream. Once we were parked in our slot, I let him out of his car seat and invited him up front with me. He thought that was great. We had some nice conversation; I asked him what he liked about the musical and how he felt about starting school in the fall. As usual, some of his answers were thoughtful and some were silly.

We were discussing the grades of school (for some reason he thought what grade you were in corresponded with your age; so 6yrs old, 6th grade and the like) and I told him about how school goes from Kinder to 12th grade. He asked me what happens after 12th grade, and I told him he would graduate and go to college. He asked me what people do in college, and I told him that he would study things related to what he wanted to be when he grows up.

Me: "If you want to be a doctor, you'll study medicine. If you want to be a lawyer you will study law, and if you want to be a police officer you will study criminal justice."

Him: "What do I study if I want to be a Super?"

Me: "ummm, well I guess you would study crime fighting and super hero stuff. And if you want to be a musician you would study music; if you want to be an actor you would study the theater."

Him: "And what if I wanted to be a magician?"

We may have to talk about career paths a bit more. ;-)
I got to play with my phone some, and figure out the camera feature - not bad images for an almost completely dark area.

I don't often get time alone with Kiddo any more, and it was nice to be able to hang out with him and talk to him while giving him my undivided attention. Sometimes in the day to day of dealing with the boys I forget what a sweet, funny, wonderful kid he is.

It was a great "date". I love you my Boogie Man.

Until,
D :)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Follow Through

Wow, I just realized that it is almost the end of January and I have only posted 7 times. That is so sad. I apologize for being so absent this month. There are so many things I have thought about blogging, and in the moment I think of them, they are gone (if that makes any sense) and I sit down to write and I can't remember. Never mind the constant distractions and interruptions that having 2 active and demanding little boys brings. So I think that I can blog at night, but lately by about 10PM my brain just shuts down. I stare at the screen and my eyes glaze over.

Today though, I have to say that I am just so proud of my church family, and so moved by what God is doing through them. Check out this news story from last night.



Seeing all the boxes of supplies stacked in those familiar halls brought tears to my eyes. It is amazing to me how so many people from the church just fall into the perfect place whenever there is a need. Need a plane? I've got 2. Need fuel, we've got the money to donate. God really speaks to the people of my church and I am just blown away.

It's another gorgeous day today and the boys are playing in the back yard. It appears that our playscape is about to crater. We've had it for 3 or 4 years now, and we noticed a couple of months ago that one of the supporting legs is completely rotten and broken at the bottom. Thankfully, it is encased in a thick plastic sleeve and so I am not too worried about it falling on the kids. But, the bars to climb up on one side have rotted and a couple have come off, and I won't let Kiddo do the monkey bars because it looks like they may have rotted at the connection points too. We have already had to replace the cross beams on it that hold the swings; to fix the rest would cost about as much as buying a whole new set would. Thankfully the swings are still relatively safe so I let the boys play on those. Though when they do, the whole structure creaks and moans, pops and rocks.

The boys love to swing; especially little Port. He wants to take a turn on each of the 3 swings, even though only 1 is suited for a toddler. He holds on pretty good with the regular swings so I just stand by close when he uses those. Kiddo always wants the swinging to be a race, and I have had to make a rule that we only "race" once a day because after a while, it gets old being the "announcer". He used to make me do it over and over and I couldn't catch a break, thus the rule. Everyone is a lot happier now.

Yesterday I was supposed to take Kiddo to see my friend's daughter perform in her first musical at the elementary school. Kiddo was a pistol all day though, and by mid afternoon he had lost almost all of his privileges. The last thing left was the night out with mommy, and well, he ended up losing that too. I was so upset with him, but I had to follow through. He had plenty of warning and he blew it. To really drive the point home though, I went to the show without him. Oh the wailing!! He was so upset!

I actually didn't make it to the show. Between Hubby getting home just in time for me to leave, and then me having to come back to the house to pick up some cash for my ticket, I got there right at the official start time. Then, I drove around the school looking for a parking space and the door to enter. Sadly, by the time I got my bearings (even though I never did identify the correct door), the show had already started. I didn't want to go in late, even though I saw lots of other parents circling the parking lot still. I decided to try again for tonight, hopefully with a behaving Kiddo, and make a nice night of it.

We shall see.

I think going without him was pretty effective though, because when I got home, Kiddo had written me a note and left it with a "present" under my pillow. I don't quite understand it, but the note said "I have missed you." and the present was a gun made out of bristle blocks. lol. It was a sweet gesture I guess.

So far today he has been pretty good, and hopefully we can make it to the show tonight without incident.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday!

Until,
D :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Spring Love



Happy Friday Company Girls and beloved Regulars!

It is a gorgeous day out today, and I am absolutely itching to start working in the garden!!! I made the mistake of stopping by Lowe's this morning and checking out the gardening department. Oh mercy, mercy, mercy!

So far on my list of "wants" for my garden, an apple tree ($22.95), an orange and a lemon tree (2 for $39.95), another blueberry for the blueberry I already have (they don't fruit unless there are 2 of them, awwww! - $10.95) a blackberry and raspberry bush ($8.95 each), more dirt, fertilizer and seeds or small plants for onions, spinach, and a couple of herbs, and some peppers. I would also like some strawberries and red onions this year.

So....I need about $200+ to start. *sigh*

I have no idea where that is going to come from. Maybe we'll have a garage sale or something.

I was getting giddy looking at all the little plants.

I still have seeds for zucchini, tomatoes and the peas and beans. I hope to plant a lot more of those this season. My returns in the fall were pitiful, and just as everything started to really get going, we had a hard freeze and it wiped it all out. The only plants I have left are carrots, some sad little onions that probably won't come to anything, a couple broccoli plants that still haven't produced anything, and 2 teeny tiny spinach plants. I also have some brussel sprout plants still growing, and while they are gorgeous, they aren't producing anything and probably won't. I just don't have the heart to pull them!

I am thinking about incorporating our fence into the "garden" area and plant the squash and the berries along it. The squash takes up so much space, it nearly swallows the entire 4x8 box with just a couple of plants. I am just not sure I want to go through all the labor of getting the ground ready over there. There are lots of rocks and junk to dig through, weeds to pull, and bushes to take out. And the dog will probably try to trample anything I plant, so I would need to devise some sort of fence.

I discovered this week that the family of squirrels that lives in our back yard has moved it's nest from one side of the yard to a tree on the other side. Right next to the garden.

mmmhmmm. They are planning for the spring harvest too I am afraid.

So, are you thinking spring too? I would love to know your plans!

Thanks for stopping by!

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

New Coat of Paint

Sooooo, how do you like the new digs? I came across this template and thought it would be perfect. I still have some formatting things to work out, but I think I am going to like it. You know, I have been blogging for almost 4 years now and this is the first time I have ever changed the template! It was difficult for me to pull the trigger - I was afraid I would lose some stuff.

So far though, it appears everything is still here. The labels and archives are all the way down on the bottom now in case you were looking for them.

Anywho....

Port decided yesterday that a nap was out of the question. I put him down at the usual time, and he fussed and cried off and on for over 30 minutes. Normally I would just ignore him, but at the 30 minute mark he started making a very strange noise. And, after a morning of nasty diapers courtesy of the corn we had for dinner the night before, I didn't want to leave him in his room sitting in a dirty diaper. The noise was just enough to make me think something might be amiss, and so I went in to check on him.

When he saw me he let out a jolly laugh.

Stinker.

Of course it was all over with. There was no way I could put him back down at that moment. So I thought I would give it an hour or so and then try again, but he was so good all afternoon that I just never really thought about it. He and Kiddo played out in the back yard most of the day. Man, sometimes I love Texas weather! He never acted tired or unusually fussy, even during his normal witching hour (5pm) he was calm and sweet. I almost forgot he skipped his nap.

Until about 6:30. ugh.

Actually, he wasn't too terribly fussy; he just had that frantic, I-don't-know-what-I-want-but-this-isn't-it thing going. I ended up putting him to bed about an hour early, after he had a melt down during dinner. He slept really well last night.

So I wonder if this means he is on his way out of naps? Mercy I hope not.

When did your kids drop their naps? Kiddo never napped, so I don't know what the normal time table is on this stuff.

I just know that I am not ready for it yet. I need that break almost as much as he does!

Until,
D :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Thank U

Gratitude Monday

Happy Monday Everyone!
I hope those of you with the day off are enjoying the time, and those of you who had to work (sorry Hubby!) are having a slow, peaceful day.

We had a busy day here today. With a birthday party to attend at 2PM, I had to put Port down for an early nap. He was not a happy camper about it, but he still managed to sleep for a full 2 1/2 hours before I woke him so we could go. He probably would have slept 3 if we weren't going to be late. Poor little guy, I don't think he's getting enough sleep.

So today is Gratitude Monday and honestly, I don't have any one person on my mind. Sure, I could pick someone and write about them on the fly, but I would much rather be motivated by emotion and real, in the moment gratitude than do something forced. Thank you to those who participated, I have enjoyed reading your outpouring of love for your friends.

I am just grateful for so much right now! I am involved in a bunch of new endeavors and exciting projects. I am motivated and working hard on my business, and I really feel like things are headed in the right direction.

And even if they are not, I still feel really good about things right now.

God has blessed me in so many ways. I am looking forward to what He has in store this year.

So, I guess, in lieu of a traditional Gratitude Monday post where I talk about one person, this is a post about...

well, everyone.

I am grateful to God for all He has given me. I have nothing without Him.

I am grateful to my family and my friends who are loving and supportive.

I am grateful to my clients who are supporting me in more ways than one.

I am grateful to my church family, who show me love and encouragement and inspiration just by being there and doing what they do.

I am grateful for the opportunities that have fallen into my lap. I can't wait to share them with you.

I am grateful for days like the last few I have had that show me that it is ok to be happy, and hopeful, and excited.

I am grateful for the readers of this blog and all my supporters here, on facebook and in daily life that encourage me to do more and do better.

I pray that I can be all that you think I can be, and feel confident enough in my abilities that I never lose courage and hope for the future.

Because right now, I am encouraged, hopeful, excited and ready for the challenges ahead.

And I don't want that feeling to end any time soon.

Encourage and show your gratitude for someone or something today. It is a freeing, wonderful thing to do.

Until,
D :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

From the Inside Out

A new to me song heard in church this morning; I can't get it out of my head...



I don't often listen to Christian music (or any music really these days) unless something just stands out and reaches me in church or on the radio. This morning our praise team performed this song and, though I have never heard it before, it touched me instantly. By divine grace I instantly new the melody and the words roll off my tongue as if they had been there waiting for years. It was a moving experience; one that prompted me to get out a pen and write down the lyrics. It is rare that a song will do that to me, though I am tremendously touched when it does. I welcome any opportunity to feel closer to God, and this song took me there this morning.

Not surprising, this next song is one of my current favorites too. I just discovered they are by the same group/church/Hillsong. Looks like a new CD may be in my future...



Oh how that moves me! Praise God! I love the part toward the end when everything goes up and the bass starts in with the boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom, etc. It makes me want to raise my hands in the air!

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. I am feeling better finally from the cold I had and will be back to blogging soon.

Check back tomorrow for Gratitude Monday, the revival. lol!

Until,
D :)

Ok, one more of my favorites!! AHHHH Yes!

Friday, January 08, 2010

One


Happy Friday everyone!

It's a good thing we are having virtual coffee because I am sick. yuck. The boys have been sick since last weekend and I got it Monday. The only one left unscathed so far is the Hubby, though he mentioned today he thought he might have a sore throat. We shall see where this leads.

Anyway, we are freezing here in Texas. I am not a cold weather kind of girl. I do not function well in temperatures below about 60 degrees. So I have been sick and oh so cold and I am not happy about it.

Aren't you glad you stopped by? ;-)

So Kiddo (5 yrs) and I are butting heads. He is completely and totally into the new video games he got for Christmas. I have always been pretty lax about how much he plays - usually after a few days of playing non stop he will get tired of it and put it down for a week or so. Then he'll fall into a regular pattern of only playing every other day or so.

This time he wants to play non stop; which I understand when there are cool new games to play. The problem is that now, little Port wants to play sometimes too (he sits next to Kiddo with an unplugged controller and watches the action) and the only thing Port wants to play (or watch) is Cars.

He's a bit Cars obsessed right now.

And, unfortunately, when Port has his little heart set on something, if he doesn't get his way he pitches a rip-roarin' fit.

And poor Mommy's head really hurts. So we just can't have that.

Soooo, the long and short of it is that the xbox causes a bunch of controversy in our house right now. And when Port starts getting upset about the selection, I just opt to turn the whole thing off.

Which, of course, makes me the meanest mommy in the world to Kiddo.

And Kiddo has started whining to us (Hubby and I) whenever we make him stop playing that we are "taking away something that he loves". (say that in your head with a pitiful, whiny voice about 10,000 times and tell me you are not going insane!)

And another downside to my already dramatic son playing a bunch of video games is sometimes he gets stuck in that fantasy world. He doesn't always separate fantasy from reality well anyway, and right now it is particularly bad.

So today I made him turn the game off when it was time for breakfast which upset him as usual, and then after breakfast I wouldn't let him turn it back on. I told him we needed to turn off the tv for a while and play with some of the other toys. Kiddo gave me attitude about it so I sent him to his room. As usual, Port followed him in there and within a few minutes they were playing together. Several minutes later I hear Kiddo scream at Port, Port whined and Kiddo started yelling at him some more. I went in to see what was going on and Kiddo proceeded to tell me that the baby was robbing him and trying to steal his stuff.

I had just about had enough. This has been going on for days. And the kicker was that the baby wasn't even anywhere near him!

I put him in time out and told him that he needed to stop living in his fantasy world and that this was his real life. And in real life he is to treat his brother kindly and respectfully and that yelling at him like he did was never acceptable. I talked to him about it a bit more, reminding him that his real life included me and Hubby and Port and that we were a family and we needed to be nice to each other. And I told him that he had a good life and that we worked hard to make sure he had a nice home and toys to play with and lots of things to do....

After a long silence Kiddo turned to me and said,

"My life is TERRIBLE! And you took away the one thing that I looooove!!! It was the only thing that made me happy!" (i.e. the video games)

{well give the boy an Oscar!}

"The video games are the one thing that you love?" I asked.
"Yes!" he said.
"And nothing else that you have makes you happy?"
"No, and you took them away and now I have NOTHING!"
he replied.

I looked around his overflowing room and the stacks of toys and books and clothes and junk.

And I told him that if he really felt that way, I would pack up all his toys and everything else in the room and send it all off to kids that would appreciate them. I stood up and walked out of his room to find some boxes.

He chased after me and promptly declared that he was only kidding.

*sigh*

The teen years are going to be TOUGH!

Hope your weekend is wonderful. Stay warm!

Until,
D :)

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Sick and Tired

I just love this picture - took it about a week ago when Port climbed up into Kiddo's lap for a snuggle. Sweetest thing ever! And, hilariously funny since Port is almost as big as Kiddo now! And I promise, his clothes do match sometimes, apparently just not when I pull out the camera...


*cough* *hack* *snort*

Excuse me.

Here in the Fry household, 3 out of 4 are seriously sick this week. Hubby so far has been spared, but the kids and I have it bad. Real bad.

Kiddo actually is tolerating this illness relatively well. He has a nasty, phlegmy cough and lots of snot, but aside from that, and other than fever one day, has been relatively symptom free. Port and I are not so lucky. Port has had the worst of it. He's been running a fever for 4 days now, and every time it spikes I contemplate taking him to the emergency care. It makes him so lethargic; this bug, whatever it is, is kicking his little baby booty.

A dose of ibuprofen though usually will perk him up some in about 30 minutes flat.

But, he hasn't eaten much in the 4 days; he'll eat all the candy and junk he can tolerate as long as it's soft and/or cold, but he won't eat much of anything solid or remotely healthy. After not eating for a whole day, he decided that gummy bears and his toothpaste (yes, you read that right) were the most delicious things on earth. I can sometimes get him to eat a bite or 2 of mac and cheese or oatmeal. He'll drink the drinkable yogurt sometimes - actually he asks for it a lot, but usually only drinks a couple of swallows before abandoning it. His fluid intake is not up to my liking either, and I have switched to disposable diapers this week so I can tell a little better if he is peeing enough. When he coughs, it's so violent that he can't catch his breath and half the time ends up gagging him. Thankfully that is rare, but it still scares the crap out of me.

I am alternating giving him benadryl and ibuprofen or tylenol and he has some good moments throughout the day, but most of the time all he wants to do is sit with me with his head on my shoulder. He's not sleeping well at night, but most of the time I don't hear him because I am so comatose myself.

I came down with it yesterday. It was inevitable I guess; both boys have been coughing and hacking on me for days now. My shoulders and hands have been covered in snot and more than once someone has sneezed in my face.

It's really hard to be a good mom when you feel like dog poo.

I've been yelling more than I ever care too, and my timely hormones are making my temper short and my tone sarcastic.

The past few days I have been a real....well, you can guess I'm sure.

My body is weak, my mind is mush and all I can do is sit here and wait it out. It is bitter cold out and I don't want to go anywhere.

I am praying that Port's version of this cold doesn't turn into something more sinister; his cough has me worried he might have bronchitis, and that freaks me out because we really can't afford another doctor's visit and prescription meds. Last month's double ear infections set us back $80, once again leaving us short for the month.

And every time I am {} this close to taking him to the doctor, he jumps up and runs laps around the house then proceeds to tell everyone he can knock-knock jokes for an hour.

You think I am kidding about the knock-knock jokes?


By the time I got a hold of the camera, he was beyond the silly stage and wasn't finishing the jokes (probably because of Hubby's over the top responses). But it is still super cute. (and his cackle is infectious!) Now he runs around the house yelling "dlock-dlock!! dlock-dlock!!" just waiting for someone to take him up on the joke.

So anyway, yup, that is where we are this week.

In other news, the Musing Mommies (that's me and Kim!) are putting up an organizational challenge of the day (on our Facebook page - go FAN us so you can join in the fun!), just to get us moving and working on our homes. Each day we post something new; and so far it's been mostly cleaning stuff - but the idea is that if you actually get up and do the challenge, it may push you to do more. If you clean off that counter top of all the mail stacks, it may promote you to file some things away....maybe....we hope!

One of my goals is to get things more organized and cleaned up this year. I am not making any huge demands on myself, because the disappointment when/if I fail is just too much for me right now. So I am keeping things slow and steady, trying to get our lives back in some sort of order.

I suppose it would help if I took down the Christmas tree...

Until,
D :)

Friday, January 01, 2010

These Small Hours


Hi there Company Girls and Beloved Regulars! I trust you had a great holiday season. Are you glad it's over? I kind of am. I never really did hit that high point in Holiday Spirit. I think things were just too busy or something. I am ready to get back to normal; to be able to go to the Walmart return desk and not have to wait an hour and a half...to go to Target and actually see what is tagged on the shelf, on the shelf. I am ready to go to the post office without having to...well I guess the post office never really changes, huh?;)

Come on in, as always I have fresh coffee in the pot. I still have a good stash of peppermint mocha creamer too if you are so inclined. And yesterday I made fresh oatmeal scotchies. Don't mess with the fudge I made though - it didn't turn out any good. I need to work on my fudge making skills. I see a candy thermometer in my future. ;-)

I am so incredibly tired. Both the boys have a nasty cold, and Kiddo was up all night because of it. I am afraid tonight will be Port's turn. He has had a really bad day so far. I think I will most likely end up on the couch with him at some point in the night. Between the fever and the nasty, phlegm-y cough, he isn't going to get much sleep. At least I can give Kiddo OTC meds to help him rest well. Poor Port doesn't have that option.

My last post about my recurring dream sparked some interesting discussion. I don't know why we have recurring dreams; I however think it may have something to do with unfinished business or something we are trying to reconcile/decide upon. For almost 15 years I had the same dream weekly about a guy I went to high school with. Our parting of ways in our early college years was abrupt and I guess for all those years I had some sort of internal issue with it. At least once a week I would dream that I was walking through the halls (usually of our high school, but sometimes college) and he would be walking with a group of people 5-10 feet away. In every dream I would call out to him and he would never acknowledge me. Or he would look my way, give me a knowing look and then act like he didn't see me. I would yell and scream and call his name but he never responded.

About 6 months ago I reconnected with him on facebook, and the dreams went away.

It's funny how that happens.

Anyway, so maybe my dream had something to do with the fact that I never finished my graduate degree, or maybe it has to do with my strong desire to participate in a photography workshop or classes.

Who knows.

On facebook, a couple of my friends commented that I was indeed an important member of my college choir. It's funny, because I never really felt that way. To me, it felt as if I was just another nice voice in the mix; that no one would miss me if I wasn't there. But I guess some people thought I was important (well, 2 people anyway. lol). And that brings me all back to what I have talked about here before; the fact that we as a society don't let others know how we feel about them. What a difference it would have made to me in my college career if someone had just once said, "you are an important part of this group". {Gratitude Monday my friends! Participate with me!}

Seriously! I know it sounds simple, and that is the point. We as humans need to know how we are perceived; we need to know how people think of and feel about us.

My husband's grandfather, every time he saw us, always said, "I am so glad you got to see me!" ;-) But, in that joke, I know it was his way of saying he was glad we were there. And it always made me feel loved and wanted.

I was discussing with Hubby the other night - if we all spoke to each other the same way the characters in tv drama shows did, it would be incredible how different life would be. Imagine being able to discuss anything with anyone. Imagine not having to sensor yourself or bite your tongue. Imagine if you could tell someone how you felt, without having to worry about the recipient bottling up their feelings as well.

Of course, that world might be a little scary. lol

But I think there really is room for improvement in this area. I think we need to be more honest and forthcoming with each other. I think we need to show our "people" how we feel about them while they are here - not just in a nice eulogy after they are gone. What good is that anyway?

So yes, it was quite the thought provoking post for me.

In other news, today is New Year's Day! A new year, a new decade, a new everything it seems.

New Years has always been a perplexing concept for me. I just don't get it. It doesn't work in my thinking.

What I mean by that is - everyone goes on and on about things being new and fresh and making change, and then a month from now everyone is back to the same old routine. And they can never figure out why it works out that way.

Well here is the thing. New Year's Day is just another day of the week. It is the same old grind; of course nothing changes! Now, if every year at New Years we had a full week where everything shut down and people were able to take some time to get things in order, maybe things would be different. Why we place so much expectation on one little day on the calendar is beyond me. Do we have more time in that day? No. Do we have less responsibility in that day, freeing up the existing time for us? Usually not. How do we expect to fit it all in, start anew and fresh and organized if there is no extra time involved to get those things in order? We can't figure it out the rest of the year, what makes January 1st so special?

I am speaking strictly from my own experience, so if you have an answer for me I would love to hear it.

And I usually try to avoid resolutions. They just don't work for me and the frustration and disappointment I face each year after once again failing is just too much trouble for me now. I haven't made a resolution in years - at least not a serious one. This year, I would like to be more organized, but golly I have no clue how to go about it. I suppose getting off the computer once in a while might free up some time...

Anyway...just something to think about I guess.

How can I reorganize my life, while living that same life I lived yesterday? There just aren't enough hours...

Until,
D :)
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