Stop and Stare | NaBloPoMo day 8

I don't think God ever intended for an apple to be that big. Holy moly!

I will be getting this post in for NaBloPoMo just in under the wire. Port was feeling better today, but still a little fussy every time he ate. He would cry out and grab his tummy but then deny that it hurt him. He's such a tough little dude. I am so thankful he is feeling better though.

This being November, the month of the all important of Thanksgiving, I have been thinking a lot about the things I am thankful for. Many of my Facebook friends are participating in the 30 Days of Thankful thing where you post something each day that you are thankful for. I have some weird, irrational feelings about posts like that on Facebook so I don't tend to participate (long story, for another time I suppose), but I have enjoyed seeing what everyone is thankful for. Most people make it sappy and meaningful, but some have fun with it too and as sure to mention their thankfulness for things like coffee. ;) (now those are the posts I can support! lol) 

I am thankful for many things, despite this sucky year and all that has happened. I have many blessings. I also have many hardships, but I am even thankful for them in a way because they allow me to shine through them. They allow me to really see what God is doing in my life and they humble me on a daily basis. One of my fb friends, Lori, posted this today: 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I am so thankful that God uses the people in my life to show me His grace and to remind me of His love. I could not have made it through these last few months without His power, and so I intend to "boast all the more gladly about my weakness" so that I may glorify Him.

Until,
D :)

Fall From Grace

I suppose I should blog something, lest you all think I jumped off a bridge last week.

hmm...

Literally, about 2 minutes after I hit "publish" on that last post, my sweet friend, Kim, knocked at my door. In her hands was a beautiful little pot full of daffodil plants! Daffodils are my favorite flower, and consequently my birth flower as well. I love how delicate they are, their quiet beauty, how they are tall and slim and how they bloom each year just in time to drag us out of the coldness of winter.  I love them so much! The rest of the day was just as beautiful, with clear blue skies, perfect weather and fairly agreeable kids. Thank you, God, for always, always reminding me that even when things look gloomy, your perfect Grace is right there, waiting for me to see it.


I've been thinking a lot, lately, on the subject of Grace, and finding that sometimes, thankfully, we receive it even when we don't ask for it.  And sometimes, as with a situation I found myself in this week, we have it to give to others when we don't even know it. And when Grace comes over you, it is an amazing, peaceful, freeing feeling. I found a quote that I think sums it up perfectly.
  

"Grace means more than gifts. In grace something is transcended, once and for all overcome. Grace happens in spite of something; it happens in spite of separateness and alienation. Grace means that life is once again united with life, self is reconciled with self. Grace means accepting the abandoned one. Grace transforms fate into a meaningful vocation. It transforms guilt to trust and courage. The word grace has something triumphant in it." - Yrjo Kallinen

Grace happens in spite of something. Indeed.

One of my saving graces is my garden. It helps me focus, relax, center, and release. Oh and it helps my grocery bill too.  The peas, broccoli, onions and some of the lettuce and spinach have sprouted already. I think I am going to plant some green beans this week because I just can't wait any longer. I love fresh green beans! The area where I planted carrots has sprouted with ant hills. *sigh* Let the war begin.  It is so hard to rid the garden of ants!! Basically all you can do is annoy them enough that they move. I am tempted to give them a place to go; perhaps dig a little patch of the yard that I water frequently.

Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace. ~Mary Sarton

Until,
D :)

Break

Um, yeah. Ok.

So, I know I complain a lot, but I really don't like to.  It's just sometimes things are easier to deal with if I can share my feelings with others.  Most of the time I find someone who has been there before that can sympathize with me or at least say, "Hey, I've been there. It will get better." or even "Hey, I've been there and it sucked." It makes me feel better to know I am not alone.

Ok, so maybe I do like to complain.

But I try not to complain all the time. At least I try not to whine about things. But today, man today I feel so bad for my Hubby. And for our situation right now. And just in general.

I have mentioned a few times how everything seems to be breaking around here. The washer is now possessed - working just fine sometimes and refusing to agitate at others. I haven't a clue what is going on with that thing.

I came home from my awesome weekend to find that the door handle on our microwave spontaneously broke. It basically has pulled away from the door and bowed out, making it very difficult to open and shut the door.  The good thing is we actually have 2 microwaves in the kitchen, and another in the closet that we don't use, but the one that broke is the one above the stove and not exactly something that is easy to remove and replace.  And, it is the one I use all the time because it is at *my eye level and I can see everything in it better. I don't like the other one. But beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

Something I haven't mentioned here is that it is very likely that my husband will lose his job at the end of the year. I can't really go into details because nothing is official, but that seems to be the way things are headed and so we are trying to prepare for the inevitable.  The housing market as we all know, really, really stinks right now, and since he is in that field it is pretty unlikely that he will be able to secure employment elsewhere any time soon.  So, we are preparing for him to start working on his own, and are trying to secure the things he needs to do that effectively.  We purchased a new desktop computer and are setting up our spare room as an office just for him.  Otherwise, we are on a spending freeze until...well, probably forever.

whee!


But then today happened - oh JOY! Hubby went for a bike ride and was attacked by a dog while he was riding the trail.  The dog (a vicious black lab, by the way *eyeroll*) bit his ankle pretty good; he's got three puncture holes.

Hubby had the dog owner text her information to him on his phone (which was back in the car) and he thought everything was fine...until he got back to the car.

The car had been broken into. The passenger side window was smashed and his phone and a portable radio were gone. Thankfully they didn't find his wallet, which was also in the car, and they left his very expensive bike wheels in the back. The glove box had been ransacked - not sure what they were looking for, but they certainly made a mess doing it (now that I think about it, they were probably looking for the wallet).

Sooooooooo - we had insurance on the phone, but the deductible was still $50 (for them to replace it with a different, poorly rated phone) and the window is going to cost about $90 to replace.  I probably don't need to mention how much we can't afford this. grrr

If these things happen in threes, then how many are we up to now?  I am pretty sure it's more than 3.

Tonight we recorded our weekly Musing Mommies podcast, and of course, this episode was about the things we are thankful for.  Surprisingly, it wasn't too hard to come up with some blessings.  Even in all the crap, the day to day stuff that happens and gets me down, I know that things are still good. Life is good. Family is good. Friends are good.

God is good. And faithful. And I know He is watching over us and taking care of us. No matter what is thrown at us, we will come out of it ok.

Reminding myself that God is still good. Always.

Until,
D

Trials and Troubles

It has been a crazy couple of days.

I took Kiddo to his first ever school friend birthday party on Saturday afternoon.  I really didn't want to go. It was yet another one of those situations where my social awkwardness really gets in my way.  He wanted to go so badly though, and I really wanted him to go, both because I knew he would have fun and because I knew it would be good for him. But the thought of hanging out with a bunch of people I didn't know just didn't sound appealing at. all.

Thankfully though, the little girl who was having the party also has a brother who is in kindergarten too. They are Irish twins and are the same age for about 2 weeks each year.

{Is it offensive to use that term, "Irish twin"? I've never heard it used in a derogatory way, but all of my research on it suggests that it is a negative term. For the record, I don't mean it negatively; I'm just using it to point out that the kids were born less than a year apart. Hope I didn't offend anyone.}

I think it's really neat that even though they are about a year apart in age, their mom decided to start them in school at the same time. Anyway, they were having a joint party, and it just so happens that Kiddo's newest little friend (and consequently our neighbor - YAY!) is in the little boy's kinder class. So, I had someone to talk to at the party! Yay!

I love our neighbors - we have lived across the street from them for about 6 years now, and I have always enjoyed a polite wave and chit chat with the dad, but up until school started I had never even seen the mom. Turns out, she works nights so I guess I missed all of her coming and going from their house all these years.  I finally got to meet her though, and she, like her husband, is really great.  The even cooler thing is, they go to the same church that we do and they use the same pediatrician. It amazes me that we've lived so close and walked such parallel paths for so long and have never come in contact with each other. Now our boys are in kindergarten together and they are great friends. It is such a blessing to have them so close.

So the party was fun, but I was exhausted after.  The boys were too. Port had melt down after melt down that evening and finally getting them to bed that night was such a relief.  Sunday morning, my BFF happened to be in town and she blessed me so much by stopping by with coffee and some time to chat.  We got to hang out for a little while before the boys and I left for church. It was so awesome to see her.

I took the boys to church by myself.  Normally I would never even think to do that because I feel like church should be a family thing. But Kiddo really wanted to go so he could show off his new bible and also tell his teacher about praying the prayer.  In as much as I didn't want to take them there by myself, I knew it was important to reinforce Kiddo's decision and so I made myself go. I was so glad I did - of course it was a great blessing. I didn't get to hear all of the sermon because I had to leave the sanctuary several times to cough up a lung or to breathe.  But I did get to see a ton of baptisms and hear some great stories of salvation.  And of course the music was awesome as always.  Miraculously I was able to sing during the worship, even though I have not had a singing voice for weeks (and still don't).


Sunday night, in lieu of our regular Musing Mommies Starbucks meeting, I convinced Kim to come with me to the Apple store so I could get my phone fixed without having to drag the kids with me.  Thankfully she was able to get away, so we went out there first, and they fixed my beloved iPhone. It was so nice to have access to everything again - I am very thankful that I had the Musing Mommies Blackberry Torch to use in the interim, but I missed my baby. (props to Kim for getting us hooked up to the AT&T Share Brand Ambassador program - free phone for a year, yes please!) We had a dinner meeting at a local mexican food restaurant, and then Kim thankfully convinced me to go with her out to a local steakhouse to hear some live music by Drew Womack out on the patio.

Oh it was soooo wonderful!!! What an amazing end to a roller coaster week! I felt like I was back in Scottsdale working at the restaurant again. And I wanted to get up there and sing with him so badly!! It was torture and pleasure all at the same time.

And then Monday hit.

You know, some people believe that when a person accepts Christ, there will be a period of trials and weird or bad things that happen immediately after. And sure enough, we get a newly cleaned soul in our home and on Monday morning things started happening. haha! Our clothes dryer has been on the blink for a while now. It usually takes 2-3 cycles to get a load dry. And if you open the door in the middle of the cycle, the dryer does not stop anymore. But I deal with it. We obviously don't have the money for a new dryer right now. But on Monday, I put a load of clothes in the washer and started it up.  Everything went well until the cycle got to the end of the agitation phase.

You know, to the part where the murky, disgusting, dirty water is supposed to drain and the clothes are to be rinsed and spun? Well, the washer had other ideas and decided to just stop with the tub of dirty water.

Broken clothes washer. Joy.

We think it might be a relatively simple fix - it has a sensor that will stop the washer after the agitation portion if you accidentally leave the lid open.  And I guess that sensor went kaput and the washer thinks the lid is up.  So now it won't do anything past filling up and agitating. But it does require taking the thing apart, testing the sensor and replacing it. And of course, it is impossible to move with a tub full of water. I need to find out how to drain it and get the top off of it so we can test it. Taking the clothes out of it yesterday was so hard. Wet clothes are heavy.

Then Monday afternoon I was sitting in the car line to pick up Kiddo and when it was time to move the van wouldn't start. Actually, it started and then when I put it in gear it died.  It took about 10 tries to get it to run again (it would turn over fine but would die immediately after) and then I rolled a few feet and it died again. Another 4 or 5 tries later it finally kept running and it chugged all the way home. Of course, it was fine after that - not sure what the problem was. Either the fuel pump is about to go out on me or there was some trash in the gas line.  That is about all we can figure would have been wrong. It was so embarrassing though sitting in that line trying to get my car to start. Ugh.

Those two things themselves would have normally been enough to get me completely down in the dumps.  I am pretty upset about the washer/dryer situation because there is no way we could replace them and of course the van thing is frightening because we really don't have a good solution there either. If something happens to the van, we are just out of luck for a while.

But I made a conscious decision to keep praising my God on Monday; to not let those trials distract me from the glory that is my son's salvation.  It was a nice change from the wallowing, complaining road I usually take.

That's not to say I won't go down that road again - I know myself better than that. But I am trying to be stronger. And now the van seems to miraculously be running better. And the washer is still broken, but it doesn't really bother me too much.  And that is a good thing.

Until,
D :)

Amazing Love

Today is the coolest day.

No matter what happens, no matter how many issues I have, no matter the fact that I fried yet another iPhone and have no way to get to my messages, contacts or anything else I put on there, it doesn't matter that the van is about to explode any day now from the transmission and the brakes need replacing, it doesn't matter that I am still coughing and having sinus issues, and it doesn't matter that the day started with the filter folding over in the coffee maker and filled my fresh pot with crunch....today is a GREAT day.

Today, my son, Kiddo, prayed for Christ to come into his heart.

I cannot even begin to express how much joy I have right now!

And I have to say it was one of the weirdest, most unexpected events that I have ever witnessed. 

Things were going how they normally do; I was at the computer and the boys were playing in the living room.  Kiddo was walking around, singing silly songs and kicking a toy car with his foot.  His silly song turned into a church song and he was singing it over and over again. I wasn't really paying attention until I happened to notice that he was making up words to the tune he was singing. At first they were just phrases about being good and kind and how God wants kids to be nice and have a clean heart. Then it turned into something about how he wanted a clean heart and how he didn't know how to be nice and kind and how he needed God to help him to not be mad and sad anymore. And the next thing I know, as he was still singing, he was pleading to God to help him to not be angry and to please give him a clean heart.

I looked up from my desk and watched him as he sang his thoughts over and over, still kicking around the car and his head hanging down. Then as I watched him, he dropped to his knees, clasped his hands together and burst into tears as he asked God to help him.

It was the most bizarre thing I think I have ever witnessed. It didn't seem real. He was so upset and he collapsed in a heap on the floor. I asked him if he was ok and he looked up at me with the saddest face. I called him over to me and cradled him in my lap.

I asked him what was wrong and what he was doing and he told me he didn't want to be angry and sad anymore and he wanted a clean heart. He didn't want a dirty heart and he wanted God to come in and give him a new one. I asked him over and over in many different ways just to make sure that he was telling me what I thought he was telling me and that he understood what it all meant. I didn't want to just assume he knew what he was talking about.

And if I am perfectly honest here, part of me was hoping this wasn't what I thought it was.

Not because I don't want my child to be saved; far from it. It is what I pray for every night. It was because, for one, Hubby is not in town this weekend and for two...

I didn't want to be the one to do this with him.

It is a HUGE responsibility! And I have been just absolutely terrified that I would have to be the one to lead my kid(s) to the Lord, and I didn't want to screw it up! What would I say? Would I even know the right way to do it? How would I even know I was doing it correctly?

I thought about calling my father in law and having him talk to Kiddo, but I didn't want him to do this over the phone, and I didn't think putting him off would be a good idea either.

So, I took a deep breath, prayed for the right words and together Kiddo and I prayed.

He seemed relieved and happy about it all at first. I did call my father in law a few minutes later and had them talk about it a bit. Then while I was on the phone with him Kiddo started fussing again that he didn't feel any different and that he didn't think he could "do this". We talked some more and hopefully I got him to a place where he understands that it is not always an instant transformation, but now that he has given his life to God that he can trust in God's strength to help him through all his trials and troubles.

I took him to the christian book store to buy a real bible. He needed one anyway as he is now expected to start carrying on to his Sunday school class each week.

Holy moly I had no idea there were so many different bibles to choose from!  Of course, he chose a gaudy bright neon green one (his favorite color) with Bob and Larry on the front of it. But I figure, the more interesting it is and the more he likes it, the more likely he is to carry, use and read it. And no sooner did we get home that he started reading it. He loves it. I had his name stamped on the front and I think I will get him a nice carrying case for it for Christmas. I couldn't afford the case today (much less the bible, lol) so that will have to come later.

He's been like this all day!

Praise God!!! I praise Him for it all today. I praise Him for the messed up coffee and the broken iPhone and the falling apart car and especially for the salvation of my son.  There is no greater gift than God's grace and our salvation, and I know that because He is good and faithful that no matter what my troubles are, His hand is in everything and I can always count on Him to show us tremendous blessing in any situation.

Today is the BEST day!

Until,
D :)

You and I

"See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive" ~Jason Mraz, You and I

This morning's church service was about the power of words. We studied scriptures in Proverbs and learned how words can be the fruit that fills or the knife that cuts deep into our souls.  The bible says "the tongue has the power of life and death".

I am a woman of many words.

I find this revelation odd because growing up, I did very little speaking. I guess I was saving it up for my adult life. Now, most people, once they get me talking, can't get me to shut up.  And God forbid you ever get into an email tussle with me; I can write for pages on end.  When the words are swirling in my head, the spin faster and faster and get louder and louder and all I can do it type as quickly as I can to get them out or they drive me crazy.  I have been known to get up in the middle of the night and write something out.  I have pulled over on the side of the road to type a note into my phone; because the words in my head won't leave me alone if they feel they need to be heard. I am owner of a number of blogs - this one of course, but a couple others that no one reads.  I save those for the things I just have to get out and express without fear of judgment or disappointing people in my life. They are my purging places and I value them greatly.

I have always known the power of words. I try to choose mine wisely, though I don't always succeed.  And in the past couple of weeks I have experienced the full spectrum of what words can do.  I have experienced the joy, I have experienced the heart ache and I have experienced the very real physical pain that words can inflict.  Words have elated me and cut me to the core.  My heart has swelled and shattered.  And through it all, the power of words is what drives me to carry on. 

When we are young and emotionally and hormonally charged, every. word. counts. Every thing that is said holds 1000 times more meaning than the average word.  Every pause, every nuance means so much.  Some people never let that go.  Into adulthood they still believe in the immense power of words and they read more than necessary into everything.  Contrarily, some adults let it all go.  Words mean nothing to them; actions are what count.  I think I am somewhere in the middle, with words still holding more weight. But actions are important for backing up words involving promises or declarations. 

We have to be careful with our words.  We have to hold them and groom them until they are just right and the timing is ideal.  We have to use them to speak the truth or they become useless and invaluable. Sometimes they get away from us and fly out messy, unruly and viscous. And sometimes they slip out of our grasp in a whisper, never to be heard.

My words count. Your words count. They mean something. Words. Have. Power.

I pray I can always find a way to say what needs to be said, in the most powerful, kind, truthful and meaningful way.

Until,
D :)

Proverbs 18:20-21
From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest of his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death. And those who love it will eat it's fruit.

One True Thing

As humans we all try to find our purpose and our place in this world. Some of us find it in our faith; through scripture and spiritual leadership. Some of us latch on to mentors or people we admire, and we carve our lives according to what we think that person has done or what they advise us to do. Some find their paths through music and art, some through their own feelings and understanding of the universe.

I would love to say that, as a Christian I find all my answers in the Word and the teachings of God. But in all honesty, my personal truth is derived through much more than that. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, and many of my early influences were very secular. I learned to be polite and soft spoken from my parents, who taught me behavior based on what they wanted and expected of me. I was taught to walk and sit like a lady by my grandmother who prided herself on being a proper southern woman. She encouraged me to try walking in my first pair of heels and I very vividly remember walking back and forth over and over across her den with a book on my head. But the ideas of being kind and a good person came not from the bible necessarily; I think a lot of it was just in my general nature and also instilled by my parents.

I think I have been searching a lot lately for my own personal truth; my purpose or the meaning of life I guess. Like Billy crystal's character in the movie City Slickers, I am looking for that "one thing". What is that one thing; that reason we are all here?

I mean, I know we all have a special purpose, or if you believe, a plan from God. And that plan is specific to us and our path of life. But in all of that there has to be a universal truth. There has to be a reason that all of this exists.

We were born to love.

These words struck me upside the head the other day as I was listening to a new song. Some of the lyrics;

Horses were made to run
And the sun was meant to shine above
And flowers were made to bloom
Then there’s us
We were born
To love.

I have come to the realization in the past few years that our lives are all about relationships. And that without the relationships, we have nothing. It doesn't matter how much we make, all the things we own, the kind of purse we carry or the car we drive - those things mean nothing, absolutely nothing in my world. To me, it's about the way you treat people and the way you behave even when no one is looking.

And I am not perfect. No one is.

But I am trying, trying, trying so much harder now to remember the relationships first. To remember to just love first. I'm trying not to get caught up in the day to day and the frustration and the irritation and the worry of this life. I am trying to be kinder, gentler and godlier. I am trying to remember daily what all this is for. It is hard - so very hard. It is darn near impossible when the kids are driving me nuts and the house is never clean and there is no money in the bank. And then something breaks and my world is sent into a tailspin. Many times in just the past two weeks I have had to stop and remember,

we are born to love. love your family. love your boys. love your husband. love.

I have heard God whisper to me and I've heard him shout. He's scolded me and encouraged, he's given and taken away. I know, through my own experiences that He uses other people and things in this world to reach His children. He's spoken to me through kind words from friends. He's placed people in my path to guide my way or to change my trajectory. His hand is in all that I do...whether I want Him there or not. ;-) And lately He has been so present, so...HERE in everything. Perhaps it is that I am finally seeing Him in my life again. Maybe I have opened my eyes wide enough to see Him. Maybe it's because I am trying to keep Him in the forefront of my life. And I see things swirling around me, around my life and my business and my family and I know change is coming. I know that after several years of being still, being stuck and stagnant things are finally moving forward.

But as soon as I see all those things; all those swirling, twisting, dancing things getting brighter and happier and shinier, something else happens.

Things start breaking. Mistakes are made. Important stuff is forgotten. Unexpected or unanticipated expenditures bombard our finances. I get frustrated at all the teeny, tiny things that seem to build and add together and chip away at my beautiful swirly cloud of sanity and happiness.

And all I want to do is stop it all. Stop all the momentum, stop all the effort, stop it all. Because it is safer and less stressful to do nothing.

But life doesn't work that way. And so here I sit, trying to make sense of it all; trying to understand what my real purpose is.

The details, I think, aren't really important. For me, it all breaks down to that one, simple phrase.

We are born to love.

And suddenly nothing else matters.

Until,
D :)

Perfect Day

Yesterday was the most perfect day weather wise. It was sunny, warm (about 76 degrees), there was a light breeze, the air was clean - it was PERFECT. I spent a good 2+ hours out in the garden digging my little heart out. I made a nice sized trench in between the 2 raised beds and I plan on planting zucchini there. I was going to put them on the fence line, but I think the full sun the area between the beds gets will be better for them. Instead, I plan on putting beans and maybe some corn along the fence. We just need to find something to use as a trellis first.

It's funny how curious birds become when you toss a bunch of grubs out on to a hard, flat place on the ground. The grubs start to squirm and the birds begin to gather...

Digging in that dirt, man it really does something for my soul. And, it really does something for my body as well. Talk about a work out! At one point, I had been on my knees digging out the trench by hand because I encountered a large group of limestone rocks that I couldn't get around with a shovel. I was bending forward and scooping the dirt out and digging around the rocks with my hands and my legs were trembling violently. After 2 hours of doing that, my body was so worn out I felt weak. By bed time last night, I was in pain.

But it was so worth it - I just love, love, love digging in the dirt. The smell of the earth, the feel of it in my hands, the silence of being outside with no one talking to me, and the air and the sun all combined just warmed my heart and my soul. My mind raced with thoughts that all week collided in my head as I sat indoors. Outside, it was as if they had more room to maneuver, and I was able to think things through so much faster. Everything I had been trying to hard to unravel in my head suddenly became clear.

I can't wait to go pick up my fertilizer and compost and get planting.

It was a nice release from the tension and anger I experienced when we came home from church yesterday. We left our dog in the house like we normally do, and when we got home we walked in to a huge, disgusting mess. While we were gone, the dog thought it would be fun to completely demolish a bag full of trash and distribute it's contents all over my house.

ugh

Thankfully that was the only low in a pretty terrific day.

Our church service was awesome. Brad Johnson from Mission of Hope Haiti was the speaker. His message was extremely powerful. He gave me so much to think about. I will have to marinate on it some before I can share. I am still not sure of what to do with some of the thoughts in my head. Some of the music was led by Mission of Hope Haiti's worship leader, Claudel Senat. It was such an amazing, spiritual experience.

After the dog/trash debacle, the big boys left on a hike and Port and I played in the back yard for a bit before nap time. I needed to transplant a few veggie plants I am sprouting in the kitchen and so I collected some random containers to put them in. I found a place in the yard with nice soil and started to dig, and the next thing I knew my little man had joined me with another small shovel and was helping me fill the pots. He had great coordination with that dirt - not much missed the mark. I was really surprised since I don't know when he's ever practiced scooping materials and filling containers. He did a great job, and it was so fun digging with him.

Port's speech is still kind of hit and miss, but it seems to be getting much better when he is on. He's begun to address Hubby and I before he says his gibberish; "Mum, bleeble blobble bleeble blobble. Um, Dad, bleeble blooble, bleeble, blobble." It's so cute. He has been mimicking his brother a lot. Sometimes though he will actually say real sentences. If he falls he will say "I ok". He'll also say "Let's go!" and "I'm ready!"

Today Kiddo handed Port a bag of marbles and just as plain as day he said "Woah, what ees dis?!".

Cracked me up.

Pretty soon I won't be able to shut him up.



With today being Gratitude Monday, I would like to make a gratitude list.

I am thankful for...
1. the rich, dark earth in my yard that will soon be providing nourishment for my family.
2. my sweet babies and the moments I enjoy spending with them
3. the sound of a young child speaking in that sweet high pitched voice that makes everything sound cute. Sometimes, even when he says "no" it makes me smile.
4. my church; the music, the message, all of it. I love attending there.

Feel free to join me. Grab a button and tell me what you are thankful for!

Until,
D :)

Follow Through

Wow, I just realized that it is almost the end of January and I have only posted 7 times. That is so sad. I apologize for being so absent this month. There are so many things I have thought about blogging, and in the moment I think of them, they are gone (if that makes any sense) and I sit down to write and I can't remember. Never mind the constant distractions and interruptions that having 2 active and demanding little boys brings. So I think that I can blog at night, but lately by about 10PM my brain just shuts down. I stare at the screen and my eyes glaze over.

Today though, I have to say that I am just so proud of my church family, and so moved by what God is doing through them. Check out this news story from last night.



Seeing all the boxes of supplies stacked in those familiar halls brought tears to my eyes. It is amazing to me how so many people from the church just fall into the perfect place whenever there is a need. Need a plane? I've got 2. Need fuel, we've got the money to donate. God really speaks to the people of my church and I am just blown away.

It's another gorgeous day today and the boys are playing in the back yard. It appears that our playscape is about to crater. We've had it for 3 or 4 years now, and we noticed a couple of months ago that one of the supporting legs is completely rotten and broken at the bottom. Thankfully, it is encased in a thick plastic sleeve and so I am not too worried about it falling on the kids. But, the bars to climb up on one side have rotted and a couple have come off, and I won't let Kiddo do the monkey bars because it looks like they may have rotted at the connection points too. We have already had to replace the cross beams on it that hold the swings; to fix the rest would cost about as much as buying a whole new set would. Thankfully the swings are still relatively safe so I let the boys play on those. Though when they do, the whole structure creaks and moans, pops and rocks.

The boys love to swing; especially little Port. He wants to take a turn on each of the 3 swings, even though only 1 is suited for a toddler. He holds on pretty good with the regular swings so I just stand by close when he uses those. Kiddo always wants the swinging to be a race, and I have had to make a rule that we only "race" once a day because after a while, it gets old being the "announcer". He used to make me do it over and over and I couldn't catch a break, thus the rule. Everyone is a lot happier now.

Yesterday I was supposed to take Kiddo to see my friend's daughter perform in her first musical at the elementary school. Kiddo was a pistol all day though, and by mid afternoon he had lost almost all of his privileges. The last thing left was the night out with mommy, and well, he ended up losing that too. I was so upset with him, but I had to follow through. He had plenty of warning and he blew it. To really drive the point home though, I went to the show without him. Oh the wailing!! He was so upset!

I actually didn't make it to the show. Between Hubby getting home just in time for me to leave, and then me having to come back to the house to pick up some cash for my ticket, I got there right at the official start time. Then, I drove around the school looking for a parking space and the door to enter. Sadly, by the time I got my bearings (even though I never did identify the correct door), the show had already started. I didn't want to go in late, even though I saw lots of other parents circling the parking lot still. I decided to try again for tonight, hopefully with a behaving Kiddo, and make a nice night of it.

We shall see.

I think going without him was pretty effective though, because when I got home, Kiddo had written me a note and left it with a "present" under my pillow. I don't quite understand it, but the note said "I have missed you." and the present was a gun made out of bristle blocks. lol. It was a sweet gesture I guess.

So far today he has been pretty good, and hopefully we can make it to the show tonight without incident.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday!

Until,
D :)

From the Inside Out

A new to me song heard in church this morning; I can't get it out of my head...



I don't often listen to Christian music (or any music really these days) unless something just stands out and reaches me in church or on the radio. This morning our praise team performed this song and, though I have never heard it before, it touched me instantly. By divine grace I instantly new the melody and the words roll off my tongue as if they had been there waiting for years. It was a moving experience; one that prompted me to get out a pen and write down the lyrics. It is rare that a song will do that to me, though I am tremendously touched when it does. I welcome any opportunity to feel closer to God, and this song took me there this morning.

Not surprising, this next song is one of my current favorites too. I just discovered they are by the same group/church/Hillsong. Looks like a new CD may be in my future...



Oh how that moves me! Praise God! I love the part toward the end when everything goes up and the bass starts in with the boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom, etc. It makes me want to raise my hands in the air!

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. I am feeling better finally from the cold I had and will be back to blogging soon.

Check back tomorrow for Gratitude Monday, the revival. lol!

Until,
D :)

Ok, one more of my favorites!! AHHHH Yes!

Be Grateful

Our Sunday church service was so awesome today. The preacher is still preaching on the lost virtue of Gratitude. Our assignment for the week is to write a letter to someone telling them what they mean to you.

Of course, there are a couple of people who have been placed on my heart to write to. I have no idea when I am going to be able to do it. This week especially, we will be so busy...

One of the things I am so grateful for is the praise and worship team that performs every Sunday. Their music is always such a blessing. There are a couple of members that are my favorites; and when they are on the stage singing it makes my experience with the music that much better. One of my favorite girls was up today. I just love it when she is singing.

I was a blubbering mess today.

I am beginning to think I may never get over this affliction; whatever this is that causes me to cry like a baby now when singing praise music. I sang in a church choir for years - this shouldn't be happening.

But I have discussed this before.

I had another great night of editing. Hubby left me alone to work, Pandora radio was knocking it out of the ballpark and I was an editing mad woman. It was awesome. I looked up from the computer at one point and it was 1:30am. It went by so fast!

Hopefully tomorrow will be just as productive.

Until,
D :)

A Message

Dinnertime Conversation:

~at the dinner table...

Kiddo: "Mommy, who's Sunday school class do you teach?"
Me: "I don't teach Sunday school Baby."
Kiddo: "Why not?"
Me: "Well, I don't know. Should I? Is God trying to tell me something?"
Kiddo: [losing his train of thought] to Hubby: "I got to play on the computer today!"
Me: "Kiddo, is God trying to tell me something?"
Kiddo: "yes"
Me: "What is He trying to tell me?"

Kiddo: "He says you need to finish your dinner Mommy. "

Until,
D :)

Exposed

Little Port woke in the wee hours Sunday morning, leaving me feeling like warmed over road kill by 9am. This early rising thing is really starting to get to me. Add on top of that cramps and general yuck from my monthly visitor (yes, I am talking about *that* on here. sorry) and I was not up to facing the world.

But, it was Sunday after all and we got dressed and loaded up the clan for church. Not feeling up to anything else, I decided to dress casual - jeans and a "dressier" type t-shirt. Normally I try to avoid jeans, wearing casual slacks or at the very least dark wash, but I just couldn't muster up the energy for anything other than comfortable. Our church is not particular about a dress code; we see everything from "Sunday Best" to "Beach Bum" on any particular Sunday, so it's not like I would stand out.

But I do always feel self conscious when I dress down for church. It reminds me of being back in college, getting disapproving looks from the church elders when they saw the casual attire I wore under my choir robe at church. Back then though, it was more a statement of rebellion and just being, well, practical. I mean, I had to wear the robe the whole service, it covered everything, why bother with dressing up? Yet inevitably every week someone would catch a look at me after service, decked out in my ripped jeans and my favorite poncho (lol my favorite poncho - who says that?!?) and I would get "the look". After being there for a few years it didn't bother me anymore. But sometimes the feelings come back now and then.

I've heard the arguments - elders and traditional types that think that being casual in church shows some sort of disrespect. And I've heard theories that it takes away from the seriousness of the message and keeps the attendee from really concentrating on what is going on. For a while I believed it, to some extent; much in the same way I believed just about anything someone "older" (and therefore wiser) told me until I figured out my own truth. So every Sunday while I was being practical and rebellious there was always that underlying element of guilt and shame too. And eventually as I matured and my income allowed me to, I started dressing a little bit better for church.

Now, I am by no means a dress and hose kind of girl - it has to be a particularly special occasion to get something like that out of me (or a direct order). But I do try to look "nice" or "presentable" in case it becomes necessary. I have found that people show more respect and appreciation for someone who looks like they take things seriously; walking the walk and such. But it is still a struggle to wrap my head around it when there isn't enough time for the coffee to kick in and there are too many hooligans nipping at my ankles while I am trying to get ready. I find myself far too often to be a cranky hot mess as we run out the door - barking orders at everyone that even looks in my direction.

But on days like this past Sunday when I physically don't feel up to it, it is nice to know I won't be shunned by showing up to church in a pair of jeans.

We dropped the kids off in their classrooms; the teacher had to peel Port off of me so I could go. Thankfully he calmed down relatively quickly this time, and after a couple of sneaky peeks in his room I was confident that he would be ok for the rest of the service. So we sat in the sanctuary - something we haven't been able to do but a handful of times since Port was born, and it was then that I realized what "dressing down" now does to me.

Even though I know I was not the only one, I felt so exposed. I felt like everyone was watching me, my every move and judging my attentiveness to the sermon. Of course, this was sooooo not the case - I doubt in a church that large anyone even noticed we were there. But my casualness only magnified things. It made me pay more attention to what was being said. I felt like anyone who got up on the stage was talking directly to me - that the entire message was written for my benefit. Our lead pastor was out for the day and so one of the youth ministers delivered the sermon. He spoke of trying to be more like God and, in general, being nicer. It sounds trivial and obvious to write it out like that - of course we should be nice. duh. But for some reason it struck me.

Of course, we all struggle with things - one of mine lately has been my attitude with the people I love. I think I have mentioned here about praying to be "softer" to Kiddo. His big 4 year old attitude more often than not makes me fuss at him from the moment he gets out of bed till the time he returns at night. And it makes me weary - I don't want to be the constantly yelling parent. I don't want to fuss at him continually. So I've been asking God to make me softer - it's the only word I can think of that sums it all up. Make me less abrasive, less likely to yell, more patient, more kind, more fun. It is soooo easy to snap when the baby is screaming and demanding all day, and very often poor Kiddo gets no good attention (only negative) from me because of it.

And of course, Hubby gets the bad end of the stick often too. I am annoyed by the littlest of things and react unpleasantly. I am trying, trying to be better about this. I have good days and bad. I bite my tongue and hold my breath a lot now.

But the pastor asked us to name one person to be nicer to - not just to vow to be nicer in general. And I realized that I have been holding on to some anger, resentment and hurt and it has been festering and taking over my feelings about a couple of people in my life. And so I am going to try to be nicer to them. It is important. It is vital that I do this. Because if I don't I will regret it later. And even as I write this I can't help but rationalize my feelings in my head (well they did this and they said that - I deserve to be angry). I may think I deserve to be angry, but what good does it do? They deserve to be forgiven.

So I don't really know the purpose of this post; just relaying the thoughts in my head. Maybe it will inspire someone reading to be nicer to someone in their lives too. I know for me it will be a slow process; peeling back all the layers of separation and distance - breaking down the walls I have built. I am sure I will put back some of the bricks from time to time, all in the name of protecting myself and what I may feel is a threat to my family, but I do intend to try. Only the grace of God can help me through this though. I can't do it on my own.

Until,
D :)

If I Can Dream

And of course, there is always room to praise the One True King

Nicole Nordeman, Legacy

I first heard Legacy on a friend's blog - actually the same good friend that introduced me to her in the first place. This song, I have to say, is MY song at the moment. Even the video - it was like they just grabbed it right out of my head. Seriously. I can't listen to this without bawling like a baby. The first time I heard it, I ordered the CD immediately. (thank goodness for Amazon credit rewards!! It was FREE! woo hoo!)

Anyway I hope you enjoy it.

I am sporting the beginning of a headache today - the allergies are back (after a much welcomed hiatus while we were in Houston). I think my troubles may have something to do with the garden. If I don't shower at night after working in it, I wake in the middle of the night clawing at my head.

An update on the garden; the zucchini production has started to slow some. It is most likely due to the infestation, but it is welcome because I was seriously getting swamped with zucchini. So I am ok with it for now. Cucumbers are next; we have a few ready to pick. The green beans have somewhat slowed too - I think due to the heat. One of the green bean stalks (vines? plants?) has died, so I am trying to determine if it is wise to untangle it from the rest and get it out of there or just leave it be. I did remove some browning beans from it and have them sprouting in a dish in my kitchen, they will be the next generation of my bean plants and will be planted in the second garden this week some time. My tomato plants are absolutely huge - but still I only have 2 tomatoes growing. I found another hornworm on one of the plants and brought it to my friend Kim last week for her kids to observe. It sat with us and kept us company while we recorded our podcast last Sunday!

The black bean and lima bean plants are still small but growing well. I think this weekend I may try to make a trellis of sorts out of some scrap wood for them to climb. I used tomato cages this go round, and while they worked ok, there is a lot of entanglement along the top. They really need something taller and more spread out to climb on. My red and green bells are still very small, but doing ok, and I have one loan jalapeno pepper plant struggling to survive this heat. We pulled an infested corn stalk the other day - it produced one ear but it was half eaten already. I may just pull the rest of them and redirect the zucchini that have decided to grow outside the perimeter of the garden. My sweet little brussel sprout plants are still going strong, despite having the holiest of leaves. I hope they are able to produce some nice sprouts come the fall.

Right now I am in search of organic garlic bulbs to plant. They should go in the ground around September I think to be ready in the spring. My fall garden will include more zucchini, maybe another type of squash, pumpkin per Kiddo's request and things like peas, carrots, broccoli, potatoes and onions. I am also hoping to try for some fall greens again, replanting spinach and maybe a lettuce variety or two.

Here are a couple shots of the kids. Port has become quite the outdoor baby recently. He loves to go outside (mosquitoes be darned!) and he stares out the back door many times a day. He knows he has to have shoes on to go outside, so he will bring me any shoe he can find (his, mine, Kiddo's, Hubby's - it doesn't matter) and then whine to me until I give in. He loves the swing and just running around our back yard. He doesn't care about the heat or the bugs; he just loves to be out!
One day last week during Port's nap I had a brief photo session with Kiddo. Out of the 30+ shots I took, this is only one of 2 that he actually looked AT me. lol! Silly kid!
Tomorrow, the story of our anniversary! I bet you can't wait! ;-)

Until,
D :)

Heaven Give Me Words

Conversations with a 4 year old:

On the way to Walmart this afternoon; I'm not sure how we got on the subject but Kiddo asked me "what is Heaven?"

[Why, oh why do I get the HARD questions?!?]

So I explained it to the best of my ability. After a slight contemplative pause he says "can we go there?"

I told him that yes, we will go there some day.

"Will we go on Sunday?" [he often confuses some day with Sunday]

Me: "Gosh I hope not. That is really soon" [well, he caught me off guard!]

Kiddo: "How about Friday then?"

:)

After controlling my giggles...

Me: "well Baby, I don't know when for sure. Only God knows, but hopefully we will both get to live a long happy life here on Earth, and when our bodies are old and tired, God will decide it is time and we will go to Heaven."

Kiddo: "I like that idea."

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

After a minute or two, things take a weird turn. Uh Mom, if you are reading this, you may want to brace yourself a little.

Kiddo: "Mommy, Grandma Goldie is dead."

Me: "WHAT??!?" [Grandma Goldie is my maternal grandmother, who, as far as I know, is still alive and kicking in a nursing home.]

Kiddo: "Grandma Goldie is dead. She is in heaven now."

Me: "No Baby, she's not dead. I'm pretty sure she's still alive."

Kiddo: "No Mommy. Her body was old and tired and God called her home*. She is in Heaven."

Me: "Who told you that Grandma Goldie was dead?"

Kiddo: "Heaven told me. Just now."

*where did he get that phrase?? mercy!

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

A few minutes later...

Kiddo: "Mommy, when I am a man and I live in Austin, where are you and Daddy going to live?"

Me: "Well, I don't know. We may still live here."

Kiddo: "In a different house?"

Me: "Perhaps."

(short pause)

Me: "Don't you want to live with mommy when you are a man?"

Kiddo: (excitedly) "I can?!? Oh yes, that would be fun if I could live with you when I am a man!"


Oh boy, what did I just do???

Until,
D :)

Change My Heart

Hello Lovely Ladies and Gents!
Welcome to Friday Company Girl Coffee! As always, I have fresh coffee in the pot and today I even have hot oatmeal raisin cookies coming out of the oven as we speak!

It is cold, cold here today. About 38 degrees according to my thermometer, but it is also raining and windy so I think it feels much colder. It wouldn't be so bad if it hadn't been in the mid 80s all last week. Texas weather....it is quite the saucy minx.

Anyway, I am pleased to report that despite the fact that I have been dealing with a sick baby the past few days I am actually in a decent mood. Don't get me wrong, if the 4 year old asks me one more question I may have to throw something, but overall I think I am in a good frame of mind. ;)

I have to admit I have been pretty down lately. I have tried to not sound like it in my posts, but I don't think I was very successful. I really was holding back a lot of what I have been feeling, but when my husband made mention that I had been "kind of a downer lately" it made me take some notice. But of course, the pessimist side of me says - well I haven't had much to be happy about lately.

Of course, there is so much going on in the world right now, so much sadness and tragedy both near and far. And I try not to think on those things much, because well frankly it's depressing, but also because I feel so helpless to do anything about it. But now of course as with many of us, things are getting bad in our personal lives - you know with the economy and all - we have had our share of cuts and now it seems that the worst of it is yet to come.

But overall we are still very blessed - we have what we need, we do not suffer. And every day I try to remember that and thank God for that. Every day I try to see some good in it all.

But sometimes, like lately, I get down about things; about life in general. About my lack of successes, my lack of close friendships and my lack of time/talent/ambition - the list goes on and on and gets more ridiculous with each passing self pity session. But this week things kind of came to a head and I have to say I hit a low.

My biggest issue right now aside from the obvious financial woes is in the friendship department. I'll probably address it in further detail some other time, but things in that area have really been bothering me. So the other night I got pretty upset and when I went to bed, my usual prayer took an unusual turn. I'm sure I'm not the only one that gets in a prayer "routine", right? Thank you for this day...please watch over and protect us...thank you for my loved ones and the blessings you have given...please forgive me my sins...thank you for coffee... oh what, you don't thank God for coffee??!? ;)

So anyway I decided to do something I should do more often; something I first learned from Miss Rachel Anne; I asked God to take away my worries and fears and anxiety over the friend situation. I asked Him to take away my hurt feelings and expectations and provide me with a peace and an acceptance of the way things are. I asked Him to change ME; change my heart, not the people I was upset about - to change me and make me the person He wants me to be, and to provide me with the support and companionship that will enable me to succeed in His will.

It was a hefty prayer - but I am so tired of thinking that others are going to change; that some how people were going to stop playing games, that I could finally make it into the inner circle...it just isn't going to happen. Some of the relationships I desire I have come to realize ultimately are not good for me, and will only serve to bring me down in a continuous spiral. So I prayed for change for me, change to focus me on the right path and to have peace and patience that He will provide the contacts and the companionship that I need. And that in the times that I feel lonely and isolated I will be reminded of the true friends in my life, the wonderful family I have and that if I just focus on Him - well it will simply be alright.

I don't know if that is a good way to look at it or a good way to pray. I only know that is what I was moved to feel, moved to plea for and moved to think at that moment.

And wouldn't you know it - God is Good!

The very next day I awoke with a huge sense of peace. I connected with someone that I have known for a while, but have not had the opportunity to really hang out with - someone who is very much like me, has the same interests and background and beliefs, someone I could really see myself connecting with. I stumbled upon a couple of great opportunities that I have been looking for - and over all I have a wonderful feeling about the days ahead. I have also been blessed with well placed Bible verses and sentiments, emails and blog comments.

The power of prayer - how wonderful it is!

So my Company Girls and beloved regular commenters, what good things have you been blessed with this week? I want to hear of your joys and successes!

Here are two wonderful things that have caught my eye this week:

1) from an amazing blog called Lots of Scotts, this quote: "Comparison is the Thief of all Joy" - such a true statement. With my current Facebook addiction, I really need to keep this one in mind. ;-)
2) the verse of the month at Home SanctuaryAmen! Oh how I needed this verse this week. Thanks again Rachel Anne!

Thanks for coming by my little blog for coffee! I hope to see you all again soon!
Until,
D :)

We Need A Little Christmas

Hello everyone! I know, I know, I dropped off the planet again. It tends to happen after NaBloPoMo - I think I've gotten into a blogging routine when the reality is I've been burned out completely. Then I feel resentful about the blog - like I am neglecting it or something (which, let's face it, I am) and then I start blogging in my sleep, in my head while I'm driving, in the shower, etc. and I have all these stories and things I want to put in a post or two or three and then it just gets all overwhelming and I am paralyzed to do anything related to blogging because it is Just. Too. Much.

Yes, I am neurotic.

But you still love me, right?

Hello?

Anybody there?

Yes, I know everyone is busy right now - who has time to check a blog that rarely posts anyway?

Ok, enough of that - for those of you still checking in, here are some updates on us.

Port cut his second tooth last Sunday. For those keeping score, that 2 teeth in a mere 8 days. Uh Huh. We have been in Teething H - E - Double Hockey Sticks!! ;) I need to buy stock in Tylenol I tell ya. He is also pulling up and cruising around the furniture, destroying everything in his path. And he is absolutely driving me nutso making me walk him around the house all the time. My back is killing me! Port also has signed "milk" about 4 times now - the first time was last week. I thought it was a fluke, but he did it twice in a row and has done it a couple of times since. It is so cool when he does it, but it's very sneaky - you have to really watch for it. I will be so glad when he is more consistent and can communicate a bit with it. Because right now he is a mess having entered into the "I shall scream bloody murder every time something isn't right and you must frantically throw things at me until you figure it out" phase. I have never seen a child get so MAD over stuff.

He is getting a little bit better about letting me put him down. He will usually scream for a bit but then find something to play with for at least a minute before he comes crawling for me. There are some things that will entertain him for a little longer than others - the singing ride-on car, the musical turtle, his favorite book and sometimes my keys. Daddy's laptop mouse is a great source of amusement, but often leads to him trying to pull the whole computer off the table.

Kiddo is, well, he has good days and bad. I am trying lots of hugs and cuddles and it seems to be helping a bit during the day. Night time is still a mess though- I think he may just be too tired at night to be in a good frame of mind. We have backed his bed time up to 9:30 most nights, but I am thinking it needs to be more like 8:30. Shower time is just a nightmare, because he knows bed time is right around the corner. I think I might try giving him his shower either in the morning or right after supper so that he has some time before bed and we don't end up with a scream fest every night.

As for me, well I guess I am alright. I am caught up with my photo shoots, have a new one to edit and also need to get my own holiday cards designed and ordered. Since for the most part Port is sleeping better, I am too and that helps things tremendously. We aren't going many places these days which makes for stir-crazy kids, but in all things are good. I have about given up on pumping. I am still doing it 2-3 times a day but my supply is going away fast and it is getting to be a nuisance to pump more than anything. When I sit for 30-45 minutes and only come away with 3 ounces of milk I have to question the value of it all. Part of me is screaming to keep it up; start pumping more and getting my supply back up - especially when I have to fork over the $ for a can of formula every 5 days or so. But part of me is also so very tired of it all and really wanting to just stop.


...if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all...

And, we have taken yet another financial hit. Hubby's company took away next year's bonuses a few weeks ago, but they promised they would come through with the last quarter for this year. Today they announced that the end of year bonuses are not coming either.

I understand, really I do. I mean, we are just terribly lucky Hubby even has a job in this industry. Things could be much, much worse. Things could still get worse. I just wish, well I just wish the hits would quit coming. I don't know how much more we can take.

BUT! [and this is a HUGE but] We have had some good too. We have been blessed with a couple of wonderful gifts - a very, very nice one from the inlaws and a wonderful, thoughtful, generous and kind gift for the boys from a my good friend Julia. The spirit of the holidays is alive and well. It helps me to hold on each day and remain positive of the future. When the people in my life show my family such kindness, it reinforces my belief that all things are in the hand of God - that he put all these people in my life for a very specific reason and that I can rest in the knowledge that He will provide for us everything we need.

We don't have a lot, but we have it all.

With that in mind, I wanted to alert you all to my photography blog. This year, a wonderful photographer, Kristen Kalp of Pennsylvania, challenged the photography community to give back in the spirit of the season. What started out as a simple idea has spread far and wide, and in less than a week more than 90 photographers have joined up and donated photography sessions to those less fortunate.

My friend, Mollie Kendall and I have decided to team up and offer an amazing package as well and we are looking for nominations for our giveaway. I encourage you all to go over to my blog, read the entry and think of someone you know that deserves a gift this year of complimentary custom photography. And if you are not in our area, please visit the Giving Is Awesome website and find a participating photographer near you so that you can nominate someone in your community.

Because even when we don't have much, there is always something we can give. I have been shown the generosity of family, friends and strangers and I am paying it forward. Please help if you can.

Until,
D :)

Enough

Sleep Training Day 5:

Another good night. I swear I need to wear ear plugs though. About 75% of the time when I got up it was for no reason. Every little squeak he makes sends me shooting out of bed.

But at least I got to sleep on more than a couple inches of bed.

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful day filled with food, family and fun (or football, or whatever else you normally do). We had a very laid back day; Hubby wasn't feeling well so he was for the first time in his life like a typical male on Thanksgiving and he took a nap on the couch. I worked some, wiped some dirty booties, wiped lots of snotty noses (including my own), baked an apple pie and made a very yummy dinner.

We couldn't afford the traditional fare, so we opted for stuffed chicken and asparagus instead.
Thanksgiving turkey: $15-30 depending on size
All the extras: major $$$
~or~
Chicken (about 1/2 bag frozen boneless thighs) $3.50
Cream Cheese (1/2 block) $.50
Spinach $.69
Cheeses, crackers for breading and 1 egg ~ $1.00
Asparagus $3.00

So, around $8 for dinner with maybe another $3-4 for the dessert ingredients vs. $30+ just for a turkey - not bad if you ask me. It was really yummy; even the boys liked it. Port ate it all like a seasoned pro.

If only we had someone to share it with. Oh well, I guess there is always next year.

Some things I am thankful for this year:

• my wonderful Hubby and beautiful boys, Kiddo and Port
• the fact that Hubby still has his job in a time when so many have lost theirs
• we are all relatively healthy
• we have enough

Until,
D :)

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

Amazing Grace

This was passed to me via an email from my mother in law.

It is a beautiful piece of history and praise of God's glory. I encourage you to watch and listen to an amazing performance of Amazing Grace. The video quality is not that great, but the point comes across just the same.


Amazing Grace History/"Amazing Grace" By Wintley Phipps


Until,
D :)

Mad Sin

Ok, I remember now...

The other day Kiddo was outside in front with Hubby. He has a bad habit of coming in the house and leaving the door open. So after asking him nicely a few times to close the door, Kiddo headed out and once again left the door wide open. I hollered at him (cuz we do that in Texas, holler) to close the door and he, in his best three year old voice said "no".

grrrr.

So I of course retorted with the tried and true mommy command of "close the door NOW!!"

The door was closed, but then I heard something coming from my front porch area.

Kiddo was shouting at me:

"Everything we THINK, or SAY, or DO!! THAT does NOT please God!"
"Everything we THINK, or SAY, or DO!! THAT does NOT please God!"
"Everything we THINK, or SAY, or DO!! THAT does NOT please God!"

um.....ok. I wasn't sure if he was shouting scripture at me or what! And it didn't really make much sense. I could only guess that he was forgetting part of it and possibly emphasising the wrong words.

Hubby and I pondered what the heck he might be trying to say. I Googled scripture, looked on the church's website for the monthly bible verse, and I could. not. figure. it. out.

A few nights later Kiddo got mad at me again and began shouting the same thing.

So this morning after service, I picked up Kiddo from his Sunday school classroom and asked the teacher if she could tell me what he was trying to say. Sure enough, it was something he learned in his class.

They have been teaching the kids about sin. And what they say is, "Sin is everything we think or do or say that does not please God."

I think I may have a future preacher on my hands! ;)

Until,
D :)