House of Cards

I really have nothing to blog about today.

Well, I take that back, I have lots to blog about, but I made the mistake of waiting until the evening to open this thing up and frankly, my brain started turning off the lights and shutting things down about an hour ago. The doors are locked, the windows have been checked, the dog has been fed, the cat has been put out and my little brain is dreaming of it's warm pajamas and ratty old robe, washing it's face and drinking a big glass of water before snuggling down into the deep recesses of the many blankets on it's bed.

Oh wait, no, that's just me. Except for the part about having everything shut down and done.

I still need to make a school lunch and turn off everything in the house. The dog is snoring and I have no idea where the cat is. Hubby of course, is already in bed, leaving me to shut it all down by myself.

Such is life.

Anyway, I spent most of the day today (when I wasn't editing photo sessions) thinking about what I need to do to like my house again.

Yes, I hate my house. Hate it. Hate every square inch.

You know why?

Because I can't see a square inch because of all the crap we have around here.

It has officially taken over. I am so sick of it all that I hate just sitting here. I hate looking at it. I just want to move and leave everything behind. We keep stuff for the most rediculous reasons! Sometimes we don't even have a reason for keeping it.  For example, today I threw out a pair of jeans.  They ripped right in the middle of the derriere about 6 months ago and I have been holding on to them. WHY!?!?!?!?!? What on Earth could I possibly do with a pair of jeans that allows my rear to hang out?? Seriously. I don't know what "logic" told me to wash, fold and put them back in my closet. I pulled them out on Halloween and didn't even remember that there was he huge tear! Thankfully my Hubby pointed it out before I left the house and mortified myself once again.

So anyway, I threw them out. Good riddance. There is SO. MUCH. STUFF in this house that is just like those jeans - broken, unusable, unfixable, and yet we hang on to it for some strange reason.

Part of me feels guilty for filling up a landfill with all of this stuff, but I finally realized that my house was turning into a landfill! I can't live like this!! Pretty soon my friends will be calling the producers of Hoarders.

So yeah, I am a little dramatic, but seriously in need of a change. I have got to get rid of at least half the stuff in this house. It is stressing me out and depressing me.

Any ideas, helpful hints, offers to help? I am open to any and all suggestions.

Until,
D :-/

Day by Day

I am too tired to make this into anything that makes sense, so it will just be random thoughts today.

***********

Last Tuesday night my Hubby loaded up his things into a friend's car and they took off together for a long drive to Arizona.

Thankfully their trip went rather well (for the most part) and they made it home safe and sound.

I was home alone with the kiddos for 4.5 days.

By the end of day 1 I was already getting a bit frazzled.  By day 2 I was ready to pull my hair out.

So on day 3 I loaded them up and drove them to Houston to visit with my inlaws.

Thankfully, I was able to meet up with a couple of my very best girlfriends for dinner that evening. The plan was to get to Houston, get the kids comfortable with the grandparents and meet up with my friends at the restaurant for dinner. Unfortunately I left a little bit later than I had planned and ended up pretty much dumping the kids and our dog on my inlaws and sprinting out the door.  (sorry guys!)

I made it to the restaurant before my friends, and put our name in for a table. The place was packed - our wait was supposed to be 30-35 minutes, but we waited for over an hour. 

I felt so bad about myself when my friends showed up.  They both looked amazing - all dressed nice and hair and makeup done.  I was in a nasty gray long sleeved t-shirt and dirty jeans. I had planned on taking a shower before the drive that afternoon, but had to bathe the dog instead. So while they were looking nice for an evening out, I was a disheveled heap of greasy hair, dirty clothes and body laced with the lovely scent of dirty dog, dog shampoo and fast food french fries.

Ahh the joys of being a mom.

I am sure my friends didn't mind too much, though they did sit on the opposite side of the table. ;-) We still had a great evening that ended all too soon.  I really wanted to keep talking, but I could tell they were both tired.  There is just never enough time.

Until,
D

The Things You Say

In the car yesterday:

Kiddo: "mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo.."

Me: (gritting my teeth and saying in a warning tone) "Kiddo..."

Kiddo: "mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo... Mumma do you know what 'mo' means?"

Me: (flatly. trying not to rip my hair out) "no."

Kiddo: "It means be quiet. (brief pause, then) mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later, still in the car...

Kiddo: "Mumma, how do they make sugar?"

Me: "It comes from a plant."

Kiddo: "What kind of plant?"

Me: "A sugar cane."

Kiddo: "A what?"

Me: "Sugar Cane."

Kiddo: "What kind of cane?"

Me: "Sugar."

Kiddo: "Then what is second?"

Me: "What do you mean, what is second?"

Kiddo: "What comes second? When they are making sugar?"

Me: "I am not sure how they do it. We will have to look it up later when I have access to the computer."

Kiddo: "I think they add salt."


Please send the men with white coats.

Until,
D :)

Oh Lone Stranger

I had a really rough evening with the boys last night.  After such an early wake up that morning, I think we were all pretty worn out by dinner time. It was bath night, and per the unfortunate "usual" lately Kiddo highly protested taking a bath.  Port wasn't too eager either, which is weird for him. So they both whined and fussed and generally protested all the way to the bathroom. Then they whined and fussed while getting undressed. Then Port peed all over the bathroom floor while I was waiting for the tub to fill up. Joy. As if I hadn't had enough pee to clean up that morning.

So by the time they actually got in the bath, I was beyond frazzled.  It was all I could do to keep it together and my goal was for them to play in the tub a little bit while I relaxed.  But the whining and the fussing and the arguing just didn't stop. They weren't playing with each other, they just fought over the toys and everything else they could find.

At one point Kiddo accidentally tossed a tub toy out of the tub and he asked me to get it for him. When he asked, he forgot to say "please" and so as I was getting it for him I reminded him that he needed to say it. He just looked at me with a blank stare. Thinking he may not have heard me over Port's rendition of "Oh Lone Stranger" from the Veggie Tales, I repeated myself, "you need to say please".

Again a blank stare.

By then I had already handed it to him and so I said, "say thank you" and again he just stared at me.

This is sooooo not how I raised him.

And, being at the end of my rope already, I just snapped. I grabbed the toy out of his hand and tossed it in the trash. I told him that if he wasn't going to be nice and say please and thank you then he didn't deserve the toy.

He then told me he didn't want to live here anymore.

I offered to help him pack.

I know, I know, probably not the best way to go about it - but I was so done. I just didn't have my wits about me and I snapped. Of course he immediately "changed his mind" and took it all back, but I was determined at that point to teach him a lesson. I told him that he could forget about going to school and seeing his friends because since he was moving out of the house he would have to get a job so he could pay for a place to live.  That upset him even more so I dropped it and let him marinate on it for a little while.  Then when I was getting him out of the tub he sheepishly asked me if he had to go pack his stuff. I told him no, and then we had a nice long talk about the power of words.  How, when you say something to someone, even if it is just because you are angry or upset, and even if you take it back or apologize, the other person can forgive you but it still hurts.  I told him that words are one of his superpowers and that he needed to be very careful about what he says to people.  I reminded him how he felt when one of his friends told him she didn't want to play with him anymore. He immediately got upset at the memory - it was the perfect example because even though he and his friend have since made up and are playing together now, the memory of what she said still upsets him. I told him it was the same thing when he tells me he doesn't want to live in our home anymore. I told him that Daddy and I work really hard to provide a place for him to live and clothes to wear and toys to play with and food to eat.  I asked him how he thought it made us feel when he said something like that.

He seemed to understand it. So we went about the evening.

As the boys were getting ready for bed, I was putting the sheets back on the bunk beds. Kiddo kept getting underfoot and I was struggling with the sheets and the whole situation pushed me to the limit again. I snapped at him to move and as he did he busted out into another chorus of "Oh Lone Stranger".

That was it for me; I put them to bed 20 minutes early because I couldn't take it anymore.

Thankfully they didn't notice and went right to sleep.

Until,
D :)

Barefoot and Crazy

A blood curdling scream woke me at 5:15 this morning. I shook my head to wake myself more quickly and listened as Port called for me over and over. It didn't sound like he was going to give up and go back to sleep, so I decided to go in and check on him.

It was a good thing I did because I walked in to find him completely undressed.  He was lying in his bed crying into a blanket. I picked him up and he was like a little popsicle. It was cold in the house, so he had to be freezing. I felt around for his diaper but couldn't find it. I found his pants; soaked. I felt the bed; soaked. Wetness. Everywhere.

*sigh*

I took him in the spare room where we keep the diapers and cleaned him up and redressed him.  There was no way I could put him back to bed so I took him to bed with me. We tossed and turned until my alarm went off at 6:45

*yawn* (no really, I actually just yawned. lol)

Once everyone was up and getting ready for school, I had the chance to look in the bed for the missing diaper. I found it, still intertwined with his pajama bottoms, completely dry. He must have disrobed before he even went to sleep. Poor little guy was probably cold and wet all night.

So today has been challenging to say the least.  Thankfully I had a date with a friend to drop him off at her house for a few hours so I could get some work done. And work I did - thank goodness! The time flew though. I think I need about a week of days like that just to get caught up.

Or I would take a few days like this if I had to... (please excuse the grainy iPhone pics)

 Of course the cat might not like it too much. ;-)

They slept like that for almost 4 hours yesterday. It was a long nap, but he really needed it.

Now, should I use duct tape or some other form of adhesive for the diaper tonight?? ;-)

Until,
D :)