Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Broken

Gotta blog, gotta blog, gotta blog.

There are so many things shuffling around in my head. I really need to get them all out so I can think clearly.

The past week and a half has been pretty rough in terms of frustrations and stress. On Wednesday I made an attempt to install the new operating system that Apple released and in the process I somehow managed to turn my phone, my less than 6 month old baby, the one thing I input all my business contacts, calendars, everything on, into no more than a cute paperweight.

I tried not to panic. I went through the whole process again and again, uninstalling and reinstalling iTunes and attempting recovery for the phone and nothing worked. Faced with the possibility of losing everything, I made an appointment to bring the phone in to the Apple store for an evaluation.

...on the very same day as the official iPhone 4 release.

um

Have you ever been in an Apple store during a new product release? Yeah, me neither. Mostly because I am not an Apple product person, and also because you usually can't get within 50 feet of one when they have a new product out.

Thank goodness for appointments! Unfortunately the only one they had available that day was right at nap time.

But I drug the boys down there anyway and because we had an appointment I was able to go in ahead of the 100+ people waiting in line to buy iPhones. However, the store was so crazy that throughout the duration of my "one on one" time with an Apple "genius", he was helping other customers. Of course, that made for a very drawn out appointment and the boys were not having it. The thrill of the high stools and the excitement of being somewhere so busy and buzzing wore off in about 10 minutes. Then I turned into the annoying customer with one screaming toddler and one whiny 5 year old. It was fabulous. It turns out that the "geniuses" had no idea what was wrong with my phone; they had never seen that particular error code before, and so they replaced it with a refurbished phone. I was not too thrilled about the refurbished part - if I had wanted a refurbished phone I would have bought one in the first place. But, I had a phone back and the boys were beyond done so I took it and left.

Of course, I had lost all the information on my phone. All the contacts, all the set up I have spent months tweaking to my liking, everything. Then, when I returned home I spent another day and a half trying to fix iTunes on my computer so that it would even see the phone when I plugged it in. The issues with that had me ripping my hair out, but after googling and trying so very many different ways of doing it, I finally found a solution. I was able to sync my phone and get all my apps and music back. Then I had to spend a day just putting all my contacts back in the phone. It may be a while before I get all my client info back in there.

*sigh*

And in all of this, our CRV has been acting up. It has a problem with the muffler or something, and so we have been babying it and not driving it as much until we can get that fixed. Then mid week (when all the phone stuff was happening) the patch that Hubby put on the radiator blew and his second patch job didn't hold. So it was completely out of commission until the weekend. He spent most of the day Saturday replacing the radiator and some of the hoses and then on his way home from work on Monday something happened and darn thing is broken down again. We are probably looking at over $300 in repairs after fixing the muffler, plus whatever this new thing is. And of course, we don't have that kind of money just sitting around.

This happens every time you know - we hold on to our money for ever it seems and just when we feel comfortable purchasing something, everything else falls apart. I invested in my business and spent what I had saved up and now the car needs major repairs. Of course. I don't know what we are going to do.

I am trying not to get too down about it. I know I complain a lot here on my blog; but everyone needs an outlet and this is mine. I have to get the stuff out of my head and into the public realm or it drives me crazy. I'm not sure why that is - why I have to put it on something public, but it is much more satisfying that way. So, whatever - you don't have to read my sob story if you don't want to.

However, I do have some great things to keep me focused. I think a lot of the troubles we are going through are being thrown at us to distract us from all the blessings we are experiencing right now. I am keeping my eyes up and focusing on the good - Hubby's increase in side work and my business and all the changes I am developing; I think I have some pretty great ideas and a good direction - if only I can stay focused.

The devil has a way of interfering with all that. I am pretty sure we have had our fill; he can go away now, thankyouverymuch.

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Satisfied

It's been a week and I haven't blogged. Well, I haven't blogged here anyway. I miss writing here - I know I need to get back to it, but I just can't seem to find the time.

I pulled 2 cucumbers, 4 okra and a bunch of black beans today from my garden. I have some jalapenos and banana peppers that are almost ready, and will probably have a few more cucumbers this afternoon. I have a refrigerator crisper full of cucumbers - I need to think of something to do with them quick. I would love to make some pickles....should probably head over to Goodwill and see if I can find some canning supplies.

This weekend we had to take down the playscape in the back yard. It was getting extremely rickety. We knew there was some rotting on the frame, but until Hubby took it apart we had no idea that the entire thing was practically mush. I don't know how it was even standing, much less supporting the boys swinging and bouncing on it every day. Port is pretty sad that it is gone - he keeps going out in the yard and sitting in the baby swing that is sitting on the ground. He has also drug the other swings into the house several times. He whimpers when he sees the slide on the ground. We have agreed to purchase a used set from a friend, but I have no idea when or how we are going to be able to get it. Hubby will have to disassemble it into smaller chunks and load it on to a trailer and then reassemble it once he hauls it to our back yard. However, all of that took the previous owners getting the assistance of several strong guys to carry it to the trailer, and Hubby can't think of anyone that might be able to help him. Soooooo, he may have to spend all day breaking it down into manageable pieces he can carry by himself.

The boys are doing well. Kiddo seems to have found his attitude this past week, and has wowed us with some humdinger comebacks. He hasn't had privileges in days; it seems like every day he looses another day or two. Port is talking a lot more now and it makes my head hurt sometimes when I have to decipher what he is trying to say. He is so stubborn, and if you don't understand him he gets terribly angry. He has started trying to write some. He can identify 99% of his letters and numbers, and knows most of the colors and shapes as well. He sees his brother drawing and writing and he has to do it too. His scribbles will sometimes look like letters and numbers, and when they do he gets so proud! He has to run and show me (by shoving the drawing board in my face) and get his "good job!" from Mommy.

He is all about the "good job". I get the "good job Mumma!" from him hundreds of times a day. It's pretty cute.

{photo courtesy of one of my assistants on this shoot, Kim}

Speaking of good jobs...I've been pretty busy lately. It is really quite nice. I feel a shift coming on in my business and I am trying to be patient and open to any possibility right now. I am so excited about what may happen in the next year or so.

I have been saving up for a new lens, but I changed my mind and last week I decided to invest in myself and my business even more. I joined PPA (Professional Photographers of America). Along with my membership, I received registration to Imaging USA next January. Since it is in San Antonio this time I will be able to drive in each day for the convention. While I am there, my plan is to take the official test to become a CPP, or Certified Professional Photographer.

In saying that, I am also reminding myself that I don't test well and this is going to be a very difficult test. But I really want to give it a shot - I think it will be a great way to educate myself and advance my business to the next level. I want something that will differentiate me from the MWACs (mom with a camera) that are flooding the market with new photography businesses.

So I paid my dues for PPA and my declaration fee for the CPP, and now I have to find a way to purchase the text book for the certification test. It's only around $125...eek! Hopefully I can find a used copy somewhere for a little less. Or maybe I know someone with a frequent buyer card at one of the big book stores that can get me a good deal??? Anyway I will figure something out.

So that is a quick summary of life in the past week. Hopefully I can update more later.

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Morning Glory

The baby started screaming at about 3:45am. I pushed our bedroom door closed to block out some of the sound and crawled back into bed. It was too darn early. He screamed off and on for about an hour, until I could take it no more. No one in the house was sleeping, and it just didn't seem like he was going to let up so I went in and got him.

Of course, there was absolutely nothing wrong. He was sweet as pie the minute I picked him up. I changed his diaper and put him back to bed. Oh man, that made him mad! Sadly, it woke everyone else up again, but after about 30 more minutes he finally quieted down. He started back up again just before 7 and I was successfully ignoring him until Kiddo started shaking me.

Every day Kiddo and I go 20 rounds about him getting dressed. He is perfectly content to sit around all day in his pajamas, and usually the only way I can get him dressed is if we plan to go somewhere. So when I tell him to get dressed, his usual response is, "why, are we going somewhere?" My usual response is "no, we're not going anywhere." and then he always asks "then why do I have to get dressed?" and my response is always, "because it is what you are supposed to do."

The child who never, ever wants to get dressed on any day of the week, decided this morning at 7:15 was the perfect time to get dressed, he said, "because that's what I'm supposed to do." GAH! He never listens to me when I need him to get dressed, but after a night of no sleep while I am trying to acquire some precious dozing time, suddenly my words sink in?!? Seriously. So he couldn't find any clean shorts and he needed me to get up and get some. I told him he could run around nekkid for all I cared, just let me sleep!

That lasted all of about 5 minutes.

So I got up, turned off all the fans in the bedrooms, turned up the temp on the thermostat and rescued the baby from the crib. I have been craving a healthy muffin type treat lately, so I sufficiently heated up the house making some Morning Glory muffins. Oh man, they are so good!
I based it off a recipe I found on Allrecipes.com, but changed it up a lot to accommodate our tastes and what I had on hand. So, in case you needed to know, here is the recipe!

Morning Glory Muffins

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup bread flour
~ 1-2 Tbls ground flax seed
~ 1/4 cup wheat germ
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
2 tsp baking soda
2 heaping tsp cinnamon
~ 1/4 tsp nutmeg
~ 1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp salt (maybe a little less)
1 1/2 cups grated carrots (this was 3 medium sized carrots)
1 1/2 cups grated apple (about 6 small granny smiths)
3/4 cup flaked coconut
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup dried cranberries
3 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup coconut oil
1/2 tsp vanilla extract (maybe a little more)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Lightly oil muffin tins or spray with cooking spray (I don't recco using papers - these are kind of sticky).

In one large bowl (no mixer needed), combine dry ingredients, including sugars (not the fruits or coconut). Mix thoroughly. In a separate bowl, combine the fruits, coconut, and shredded items with the eggs and vanilla. Mix until combined. Slowly add the dry ingredients and mix all until combined.

Bake for 10-12 minutes for mini muffins, 18 minutes for regular sized muffins. I made 24 minis and 11 regular sized muffins.

These were so good (not overly sweet) and the kids loved them. Next time I may try adding some zucchini as well. Gotta get the veggies in somehow! Enjoy!

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Port ate so badly yesterday, I was determined to do something different with him today. Yesterday I think he went through 3/4 of a package of hot dogs. It was awful. But it was all he would eat! So I made the muffins today and he had a few of those, then for lunch, when I fixed Kiddo's grilled cheese and fruit, I made up a half of a grilled cheese sandwich for Port too. Then in his fruit bowl (because he doesn't like or is not willing to try cherries and strawberries) I put frozen blueberries. He used to eat them, but hasn't had/wanted them lately and today for some reason he gobbled them up. He asked for more and more, and I obliged, and in the process he ate almost all of the grilled cheese too. He totally protested his plate at first, but then just gave in and ate. Hooray for Momma!

It's not perfect health food, but it's much better than hot dogs and nuggets. blech.

It didn't work with the quesadillas at dinner, but I guess you win some and you lose some.

Tonight I have another gig shooting a fancy party; this time it is at a nice restaurant at The Domain in Austin. Hopefully things will go smoothly.

Until,
D :)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Garden State

Happy Monday all!
I had an awesome weekend - starting on Thursday with a trip to Houston. I had two photo sessions on Friday and got to spend the day with my bff and her family. It was wonderful! My backyard mom colored and highlighted my hair and I love it! I wish I could have spent more time with them. Grammy and Happy were kind enough to watch the boys for me all day long and I didn't want to make them resent their generosity, so Friday was my only day away. I am so blessed with inlaws that are relatively close by and so willing to take the boys for me when I am visiting friends and working in Houston. The boys love spending time with them too. Of course, when we left on Saturday, Kiddo cried for a good hour off and on while Port slept. Then Port woke up right about the time Kiddo fell asleep, and when we pulled into our neighborhood, Port started whining and crying for his BeeMee (Grammy). Good grief I just about turned around and shipped them back to their grandparent's house!

Regardless, we made it home safe and sound. Saturday was Hubby's and my 11th anniversary (I know that was probably not the proper way to say that. help! I suck at grammar). Since we hadn't planned anything too special, we picked up a pizza for the kids (Little Caesar's $5 large pepperoni ROCKS) and grilled some steaks for ourselves. While the kids enjoyed pepperoni, we dined on steak, baked potato and a very yummy cucumber salad I concocted at the last minute. While I was gone to Houston, my garden produced 3 very large cucumbers! I don't usually like cucumbers that much, but something made me chop them up with some diced red onion, jalapeno, black olives, tomatoes, salt, pepper and feta cheese. I mixed it all up with some Greek vinaigrette dressing and it was sooooo yummy! It was even better the next day.

We got the kiddos to bed on time and Hubby and I watched a movie (shock! I know!). It was a lovely quiet evening with us together instead of in front of our computers. We really should do that more often.

Anyway, I haven't talked about my garden in a while so I thought it might be time for an update. Things in the garden are, well, um, it's hard to say. Good and bad I guess. It has been both frustrating and rewarding at the same time. First the frustrating: the lima beans never even sprouted. Carrots didn't sprout at all either. The green beans kept getting chomped by a squirrel and so now only one plant survived. I had so much hope for it, but then I discovered one morning that some sort of beast had completely covered it in a fine, sticky netting; over the top and bottoms of every leaf, all over the stems and also the small beans that were growing. It is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. And you can't wash it off! ugh.

The corn is growing and producing some small ears, but it looks like the shallow depth of dirt and solid limestone bed underneath has stunted it's growth. It is only about 3-4 feet tall. So much for the theory of corn being able to grow in 8 inches of soil. Anyway...

In one bed I planted the lima beans and carrots (that didn't even sprout) along with some cucumber, broccoli, lettuce, spinach, garlic from last fall and onions. The onions were from last fall too - I thought they weren't going to grow and then suddenly they went bonkers. I have pulled a couple and they are very good - sweet and mild, but still small. The broccoli was doing pretty well and starting to sprout some little baby broccoli heads. I was having a bit of a problem with some sort of worm eating through a few leaves, but I thought I was staying on top of it. Then one day after a rain I walked out to check and over half of the plants were gone and the remaining plants and leaves were absolutely covered in these little worms!! I was so upset - they were everywhere! I had to pull all the plants; there was no saving them. :( The spinach and the lettuce produced a ton of edibles until the heat got to be too much for them. The garlic seemed to be doing great, then just last week it seemed to go from "almost ready" to "past ready" so today I pulled them. They bulbs were starting to sprout their own plants and separate. I am still pretty proud of them since they started from 3 little cloves I haphazardly poked into the ground last fall.

The cucumbers are going bonkers out there and taking over the bed. I will soon have more cucumbers than I can deal with. Thank goodness Kiddo loves cucumber. Maybe, I will have enough ready at the same time and can make some pickles!

In the other bed I planted okra, snow peas, black beans, tomatoes, basil, peppers (bell, jalapeno and banana) and dill. The okra are growing great! I get 2-3 beautiful, perfect okra every day. The peas were doing really well at first (better than anything else in the bed actually) but when it started staying really hot during the day they just couldn't handle it. I will try to plant them earlier next year. The black beans absolutely thrived and I am now getting a ton ready to harvest every couple of days. The tomatoes were slow to start but are coming in nicely and the basil is absolutely beautiful.

After a couple of months of absolutely no growth, I finally started treating the peppers with some coffee grounds. They finally took off and I now have several bells, jalapeno and yellow banana peppers that will be ready in a couple of days. I am very excited about it because I have never had success with peppers before.

When everything but the beans seemed to be struggling at first, I tested the soil to see where on the scale everything was. It seems the soil is pretty Alkaline (above 8.0) which is just amazing to me considering how much compost I added to it before I planted. It is also pretty much void of the essential nutrients like Nitrogen, Phosphorus and Potassium. Seriously, I have no idea why. Though I have to say that after giving the nitrogen loving plants some coffee, they perked right up. Also, the recent rains have helped a ton - I think a lot of the nutrients were "locked" in the soil because it would get so incredibly dry between waterings. Hopefully I can remedy that some.

We have 3 little blueberries about to turn blue and the blackberry plant is finally blooming. I didn't expect much from the blueberries - one of the pair or plants is less than a year old and they aren't supposed to produce the first year. I hope next spring will be a great one for them.

The zucchini; my word those weird zucchini plants. Last year I had more zucchini than I knew what to do with. This year the plants are super small and so bizarre. One day they look great and the next they look almost dead. Then half the plant will wither and the other half will thrive, and then a day later the opposite will happen. I have no idea what to do for them. I am going to try to build up the soil some and see if it helps. I have seen some squash borers so they probably don't have much longer to survive, but I will try to keep them going for a little longer. I have harvested a couple of small zucchini from them, but I am not expecting many more.

So, I guess that is the long version. Gardening is such an amazing, frustrating, rewarding, confusing adventure. Maybe some day I will actually get good at it. lol!

Until,
D :)

Monday, June 07, 2010

Scare Me

You wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I am going to tell you anyway.

Last week, I was hired to photograph some people.

No, that's not the unbelievable part. Hang with me. On my business blog I told the abridged version of this story, but here I will tell you all the sordid details. Stick with me to the end because it does get interesting!

The people were attending a high class party hosted by a magazine and a newspaper. The party was held in a mansion in a neighborhood about 30 minutes from my house. The mansion was over 12 thousand square feet (15 thousand by one account) and sold recently for 7.8 million. It was, by far, the biggest house I had ever seen, and that is only including the parts I saw, which was about 1/4 of the house.
(by the way, all of these pictures are up on my business blog, and they are much bigger there if you are interested in getting a closer look)

It was an amazing opportunity; something that only came about because Hubby happened to meet the right person at the right time. Hubby worked a real estate party one day, and the next thing I know I was rubbing elbows with some of the wealthiest people in Austin.

I have to get better at handing out business cards! Doh!

Anyway, as I am sure you can guess, the event caused me much anxiety and worry. I wasn't so much worried about the photography part - that is really just a matter of having the right equipment and knowing how to use it. The gray hairs and racing heart came from thinking about the logistics of it all. I get slightly freaked out for some reason about the driving there, being on time, getting through the gate, finding a place to park, and not forgetting anything or tripping in an oh-so-graceful way as I walk toward the house. Those things will almost do me in just about every time. They are the kind of things that make me decline opportunities like this normally, but this time, Hubby managed to talk me down and I accepted the gig.

I managed to get there without any issues. Thankfully the gate was open and I was able to follow someone in. Parking was pretty much anywhere you could find it, and because the street itself was still very undeveloped, most everyone parked on either side along the curb. I found a space and grabbed my gear and walked to the house. I was completely blown away by the size of it. I met up with my contact, was introduced to his PR person and several guests, and then proceeded to do my job. I was hired to come in for 1 hour and photograph the guests. Part of the job was to also get each person's name and keep track of who was in each picture. I thought I had a good system; I was planning to use my iPhone to record the names and image numbers, but after trying it with the first couple of people, I wasn't sure the audio recording was going to be clear enough with all the background noise (turned out it was fine, but I didn't know that until after). So, I decided to go the old fashioned route and write down all the names and image numbers. Thankfully I brought a printed copy of the guest list, and many of the people I photographed were on that list.

I was also experiencing some anxiety over the caliber of people in attendance. I don't exactly own any current, fashionable clothing, expensive jewelry or pricey shoes. I was afraid my attire would be less than acceptable. I found a very simple but flattering black blouse and black dress slacks, and paired it with nondescript black boots and a bright camera strap. I was the epitome of photog fashion I tell you! lol! I also found a very pretty set of chandelier earrings in my jewelry box (that were about 10 years old and very cheap) and wore those as my one striking accessory. I pulled a thin strip of hair back from each side of my head so it wouldn't fall into the camera and that was it.

Wouldn't you know, one gentleman actually complimented me on my "absolutely beautiful" hair, and his wife complimented my "stunning" earrings. She asked me where I found them. I didn't have the heart to tell her (I am pretty sure I bought them at NY&Co), so I replied that they were many years old and hiding in my jewelry box. She commented on how fashionable and in style they were (who knew!) and that she really loved them.

Amazing!

The hour was up before I knew it; everything went great! I wrapped things up and walked out front with my contact. We chatted for a moment, and then he left to go back inside to mingle with the remaining guests. The event was to be over soon, and at that point it was about 8:15. Most of the people I had photographed were getting ready to leave or had already left and the sun was about to set. I decided to get some images of the house and the beautiful cars out front before I left, mainly so I would have something to show in my blogs without having to publish random shots of Austin socialites. ;)The cars on display were a particular hit. They were simply gorgeous! I had a lot of fun with Hubby's wide angle lens. After the above shot, I walked around the driver's side of the Audi (the black car) so I could get a picture of the Porsche from the front. I squatted down and composed the shot. When I pushed the shutter button half way on my camera, the lens focused. I pushed the button the rest of the way, and instead of taking the picture...

the viewfinder flashed "FOR" at me over and over.

Now even if you aren't a photographer, you can probably guess that when a camera starts flashing messages at you it probably isn't good. I was momentarily stunned at the flashing, and so I tried pushing the button again.

FOR FOR FOR FOR FOR

I pulled the camera away from my face and looked at the LCD screen. It read something to the effect of "Card cannot be read, please reformat. Do you wish to reformat now? Yes No"

*gasp!!!!*

I am pretty sure that at that point all the color drained from my face. I tried to steady my hands as I turned off the camera, turned it back on, popped out the card and the batteries - anything to get that dreaded FOR to stop flashing at me. Nothing I did worked. So, I slowly put the camera in my camera bag, pulled out my cell phone, and made a desperate call to Hubby as I walked back to my car.

There was no going back to the party to re-shoot. Most of the guests had already left. And the mortification involved in that would have been too much for me. So, I prayed and prayed and pleaded with God to let me recover the images.

Hubby's response was not much comfort. He told me I needed to reshoot because I likely lost the images. Not possible. Not an option.

As a photographer, this is my biggest, scariest nightmare come true. I was devastated.

I drove home, my mind all over the place and my hands shaky on the steering wheel. It is a wonder I even remembered how to get home at that point. But made it home I did, and when I walked in I handed the camera to Hubby and bee-lined it to the fridge for something to calm my nerves. He tried plugging the card into a card reader and then into our editing computer. "Card cannot be read, please reformat." He plugged it into our laptops and each time received the same message. He plugged it into our other camera, again the same problem. The card was, by all accounts, pretty much fried.

Thankfully, Hubby had remembered reading that the very same thing happened to one of his riding buddies, so he looked up the forum thread to see what the responses were and if there was any solution.

Someone has suggested trying an online software called Zero Assumption Recovery. They had a free download that would retrieve lost information on the disk. I found the site, downloaded the software, plugged in my card and said a prayer.

I had only taken about 80+ images at the party.

The ZAR found 320 image files on the card.

:)

The majority of the images from the party were recovered, but a few of them were toast. Pieces would be missing or the image would be tiled - it was truly bizarre. Thankfully, I made sure to take at least two images of every group I photographed, so I ended up with at least one good image of everyone. And, because it recovered 320 images, they were all out of order and renamed. I had essentially lost my guest name and image number match up system.

ugh

Thank GOD that He gave me a touch of photographic memory. By looking at my handwriting on my guest list, I could remember where I was in the house and who I was talking to, based on the way I wrote on the paper and some of the guest's unusual quirks or style. I was able to remember and match up all but 3 couples, and after a quick email to my contact with their images he replied with the information I needed. SHEW!

I am pretty sure I aged about 10 years that night. And my gray hair, well it has multiplied ten-fold. Time to go see the colorist!

Hopefully I won't have to experience that again any time soon. I am not sure I would survive it.

And if this ever happens to you or someone you know, I highly, highly recommend ZAR. Even if you've reformatted your memory card, it can still recover many of the images (I read somewhere once that you had to reformat a memory card at least 3 times before it removed only 80% of the information). It is truly a Godsend!

Until,
D :)

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Gravity

Define your Gravity...

For some reason I have been thinking a lot lately about how we go through life trying to do so much and not ever really stopping or slowing down enough to develop our relationships with others. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes I feel like I put off relationship work (and there is always work involved, don't kid yourself) thinking "oh, they will still be around when ___ happens and I have more time to think about it and pay attention to them". But we all know that the ____ never happens, or it gets filled by another ____ and then add on ___ and ____ and the next thing you know it's been 15 years and you haven't spoken to your best friend.

Ok so maybe I am exaggerating a little, but it can happen. I have a friend, who for the longest time, called me every day. We live in the same city and I don't think I've spoken to her in over a year. Actually, it may be more like 2 years. That time has just flown, and the comfort that she is so close is enough to make her no longer a priority for some reason. I have another friend that lives even closer, and we haven't seen each other in over 15 years. I discovered she lives right down the street almost a year ago - and you would think that discovery would have sent us flying together to reunite in person, but it hasn't. Our respective lives have been established and it's hard to work someone else in. Or maybe it's just not that important. I don't know. I want it to be important. It should be important; but we keep in touch on Facebook and sadly, Facebook seems to be the preferred form of communication for people.

That is a whole other topic. Some day I will share my thoughts on that with you too. ;-)

But anyway, I have been thinking about going through life and wondering what people think of me (something I wonder about a lot), what kind of legacy I am developing, and thinking that it's not really fair or right if someone doesn't know how you feel about them. Or how you once felt. Or something. Geeze I am not making any sense here. I guess my summary thought on this is - if that person were to pass away unexpectedly, would there be something left unsaid between you? Would there be something you would want them to know before they were gone?

And if you were to pass unexpectedly, what kind of legacy would you leave behind? What would people remember about you? Were you helpful? Kind? Articulate? A friend? Were you supportive and caring or were you not? Should you have set the record straight? Should you have expressed your feelings more? Should you have shown more love, more of your inner self, more of your thoughts and feelings? How would life be different if we all knew the score?

We can't predict life and we have no idea what the world or God has planned for us. And maybe there is someone you know that, while you may keep up with them in some small way, doesn't really know how you feel about them or how you felt about something that has happened between you. If you, or they, were to suddenly be taken from this life, what would you want them to know? Aren't these thoughts and feelings important in some way??

And how would you go about getting them the message?

Because the fact is, we can work and work to have things and stuff and fabulous, rich lifestyles (whatever your definition of rich may be) but if we don't make an impact on others, if we don't create meaningful bonds and rich relationships with the people around us, all that we leave behind are things. No one will remember you for your stuff, but they will remember you for the impact you have on their lives. And if you don't really, openly communicate with them, you won't leave the legacy you want. You won't have the same impact, if any.

And that is, for me, unacceptable.

Until,
D
There was an error in this gadget

Bloggy Bling!

Important Stuff

Business 2 Blogger

Swidget 1.0

  © Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP