Friday, December 28, 2007

Holiday

Hello Everyone!

We are still in the middle of a week with the family, and having lots of fun. Kiddo is getting so spoiled by being able to see G&H and Uncle W & Aunt A at a moment's notice - I am afraid he thinks they all moved in right down the street. I don't know what I am going to do with him when they all go home this weekend!

Kiddo is starting to get into his Christmas gifts a bit more. I am afraid I really set him up for a disappointing Christmas this year because I told everyone to go for more educational gifts. So he got lots of cool things from the Leap Frog line and books and puzzles and a few games as well. I think he was still looking for toys that he could instantly play with while he was opening his gifts. But instead he kept opening item after item of things he didn't recognize. But, he is getting into his things a bit more now; I guess it will just take some time. I haven't been able to part him with his Nemo Leapster game for more than a few minutes at a time in the past couple of days. Thank you Grammy and Aunt Ginger!! :)

Overall we had a great Christmas. Spending time with both families was fun! And having a whole week with Hubby's side of the family right down the road has been interesting. It is nice to have them all so close - I hope that something like this becomes a more permanent arrangement in the future. I love living near family.

Grammy and Aunt A went with me to my perinatologist appointment yesterday. Neither had ever seen an ultrasound done live, so I think it was quite the treat for them (at least I hope so). Little Port is growing like a weed - as of a month ago he was measuring 5 days behind and now is measuring 10 days ahead! He weighs about 2 1/2 pounds, and from all angles and measurements looks "perfectly normal". I am just loving that phrase!! The doctor kept saying "normal, normal, normal" to everything and it was wonderful. He said that with someone with a history of complications like I have, that is a great word to be able to use. I agree. All of my blood work came back great, the 24 hour pee test was normal and everything looks good. He still wants to see me every 4-5 weeks or so, and then after 32 weeks wants me to come in weekly. Thankfully he still wants to see me - I was afraid that with all the "normal" going on he might change his mind.

The little man seems to be getting cheekier - and is starting to resemble his big brother I think. Kiddo was all cheek and forehead when he was born, so it is fun to see this one fill out a bit.

I am feeling good for the most part. I am tiring earlier these days, but I think a lot of it is because of all the goings on around here. My sleep is restless, due to intense dreams, heartburn that just won't quit, and multiple nightly wakings by either Kiddo or one of the animals. I have got to remember to put the cat out when we go to bed - she is driving me nuts!

My favorite breakfast right now is a scrambled egg with a slice of American cheese, piled on top of a big, steaming bowl of grits. What are grits, anyway??!? With Kiddo I usually had cheese toast or a bagel with peanut butter. When I was working and pg with Kiddo I made Sonic lots of money by stopping each morning for a large Dr. Pepper and a breakfast toaster sandwich. mmmmmmmm! Salt and caffeine, what a way to start a morning! Thankfully this time around I don't have that luxury. ...but it sure does sound good!

So I guess that's it for now. Tonight after his bath, Kiddo sang a song for the baby because "the baby is crying in Mommy's belly". AWWWWW!!!!!! It was really sweet. He's going to be such a good big brother.

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Happy Holiday



Happy Holidays to You and Yours From Our Family!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Holly Jolly Christmas

Well, here it is Christmas eve morning. The cookies have been baked, the cupcakes are still waiting to be iced, but the pumpkin spice cake, the cinnamon rolls, the brownies, the Texas Trash and the fudge are all done. My hands look like they have been put through a meat grinder. All the washing, the drastic dropping in outside temperature and just general use have left them cut and scraped and red and chapped. I have cuts on almost every knuckle from scraping my hands under my kitchen cabinets, there is a deep cut on the inside of my left palm from the aluminum foil box, and my right thumb knuckle and most of the back of my right hand are healing from a very unfortunate altercation with my micro plane zester. Isn't baking fun?? How does Martha keep her hands so nice??


Tonight I am preparing dinner for my inlaws. The main dish will be wonderful yummy chicken parmesan bundles and I am serving a salad and PW's olive cheese bread on the side. I hope they like it. I just love cooking for people - it's too bad I am not better at it! lol!

I can't believe Christmas is here. It just happened so fast. Kiddo is of course enjoying all the family coming to visit. He cried for a while after my parents left yesterday, but all was well again when Grammy and Happy arrived. They stopped by briefly and then went to their lodging to unload the car. We met them later on at a restaurant for dinner. After dinner, we got back in the car and Kiddo was thinking we were going to follow them to their place. We told him that G&H were going "nite-nite" and that we would see them in the morning and surprisingly he was ok with that.

When we got back home, Kiddo told me it was time for a bath, and drug me into the bathroom. Now if you know the Kiddo at all, you know that bath time is always a struggle, and he never wants to go, even after much prompting, cohearsing and/or threatening. So for him to instigate bath time was quite strange. He got himself undressed, played for a few minutes and then was ready for his "scrubbin'". I bathed him, dried him off and he brushed his teeth for a minute and then let me brush them without the usual fuss.

Once that was done, he played with Hubby for a few minutes while I prepared his drink and shut down the house. I was expecting us all to hang out in my bedroom like we normally do, but instead Kiddo met me in the hallway and told me it was time to go to bed. He wouldn't even go in my room for a minute, so I put his jammies on him in the dark and then he piggy backed to my room to tell Daddy goodnight.

I was just amazed at his initiative. We laid down in his bed, said his prayer and I started in on my usual story (every night it is the same - Cars). While we were laying there in the dark, the cat came into Kiddo's room and jumped into the bed with us.

Now I don't often talk about the cat. She kind of keeps to herself and can't often be bothered with the humans in her life. She rarely ever needs anything more than feeding and watering, and spends most of her days outside or asleep in some out of the way spot in our house. However, lately she has been more present than usual - maybe due to the cold outside or the fact that she might not be feeling up to snuff, but whatever the case, she suddenly loves to sleep with the Kiddo on cold nights. Most of the time she will jump in his bed and curl up behind his legs and almost immediately go to sleep. Last night though, she jumped up and stepped in between Kiddo and I, putting herself in a prime spot to get some stroking from me while I told Kiddo his bed time story.

As I ran my hand along her fur she purred and kneaded my leg gently, making sure to retract her claws with each push. It was sweet, and I was reminded of how much I loved having cats as a child, and how they always brought me comfort when they were sweet and loving. After a few minutes, the cat got up, turned around and headed toward her usual spot behind Kiddo's legs.

But before she departed to space between Kiddo and I...

she farted.

Now, I can honestly say that in all my years of animal ownership, I have experienced my fair share of animal flatulence, but I cannot recall ever, ever hearing or witnessing a cat pass gas.

I was in shock for a moment, then went back to my story while the cat settled into the warmth of Kiddo's legs.

And then, it hit us.

You know what I am referring to - the dreaded Green Cloud.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I was trying so hard not to choke and tried so hard to keep on track with the story, but Lord Have Mercy my eyes were watering. Kiddo was laying there, happily sucking on his sippy-ed drink and listening. But I couldn't take it any more. I gagged slightly and whispered to him, "do you smell that?"

That was all it took. Poor Kiddo must have been lying there, desperately trying to think of words to express what he was experiencing and all it took was me breaking the ice.

He burst into the most hysterical laughter I've heard from him in a long while.

Remember when you were a kid and you had a sleepover, be it with friends or family, and someone gets tickled and everyone just can't stop laughing??

Yeah, we laughed for probably 20 minutes. We couldn't stop. Hubby finally came into the room to see what the hysterics were about. And in between gasps I tried to tell him the story. Soon he was laughing just as hard with us.

It took forever to get Kiddo settled back down, but eventually he went to sleep and I went back to my room.

Hubby and I laughed about it some more.

And when Kiddo got up this morning, the first thing he did was start to giggle and said "Mi-mi cat is stinky!"

Oh man, what a Christmas tale. ;)

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Is There Room In Your Sleigh

Oh my achin' back!

In preparation for the holidays I have been trying to accumulate everything I need for all the goodies I am baking. I have gone to the grocery store 3 times now in 3 days, and I am pretty sure I will need to go back again tomorrow or Friday. I should have my own parking space I tell ya!

So today we went yet again and I got lots of supplies (so much for my grocery budget this month!). Kiddo did really well until the sacker pulled him (in the cart) way far away from me in the line. Come on lady, you can't take two steps toward my shopping cart to put the bags in?? He felt himself being drug away and it totally freaked him out. I pulled him back about half way and wouldn't you know it I got a dirty look from the sacker?!? There were 2 bags!! It's not like she has to make several trips to my cart. ugh.

Anyway I got home and my intention was to make fudge today. I had an easy, peasy cheater recipe that I got somewhere, but never having made fudge before I mentioned it to my mother in law and she emailed me the family fudge recipe in return.

Now the thing I love about family recipes is one, they usually really are very good and two, they are hysterical to decipher. Because in all those years of writing it down and rewriting and passing along, someone's shorthand and/or bad memory came in to play and things get confused. So Grammy sends me this recipe and the first ingredient is listed as "3 large Hershey bars (12 oz)".

So I am wondering, does that mean 3 large bars totalling 12 oz or 3 large bars, 12 oz each? I looked in my pantry and just happened to have a Hershey bar the size of my head in there and it was only 8 oz. I am perplexed. I email Grammy and she emails back "The Hershey bar size is the BIG one, maybe 4x8 (I'm guessing)." umm, ok. This perplexes me further because the "normal" big one I see in the store is a 5 oz, but the one in my pantry was a special 1/2 pounder that I have only seen on rare occasions, and such occasion was not today at the local WalMart.

oy vey! ;) So I get her on the phone and we realize that the 12 oz probably went with the second ingredient on the list "2 small bags of chocolate chips". Ok, so we don't know how many ounces we are looking for, but I figure that with the couple of big bars I have on hand I can fudge about a half batch (no pun intended. really).

Another ingredient is "1 large can of evaporated milk". Ok, what does that mean?? Because a normal can is 12 oz and the small cans are 5 oz but sometimes you can procure a "large" can at WalMart - I guess for those huge batches of stuff. So are we talking large large, or medium large? And yet another ingredient, "1 pint of Marshmallow Creme". Huh. 1 jar of marshmallow creme is 7 oz. , and there are 16 oz in a pint, so should I buy 3 jars and estimate 2 ounces??

eed gads!

This is way too much math for my little preggo brain. I halved the recipe and the measurements were not by any means accurate, so I am just praying that it turns out ok. I mean it can't be too bad right??

Another thing I am currently making is Chex Party Mix. I decided to add Cheese-Nips to the recipe. When we were in the store buying them, Kiddo asked me what they were. I said Cheese Nips Crackers. He repeated "yeah Mommy, dats right, Jesus Crackers! Day-er crackers for Jesus!"

:) :) :) Can he get any cuter??

Until,
D :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What Child is This?

The baby got his first experience with hiccups last night. Poor thing - I don't think Kiddo had hiccups in utero until 30+ weeks. I felt so bad for him; you could tell it was a weird experience. He also heard the vacuum when I turned it on yesterday - he jumped and kicked me for a good five minutes while I vacuumed. I guess the ears are developing nicely!

I have been doing a little searching on baby names. I still don't know what we are going to call this poor kid. Kiddo had a couple of suggestions; Port and Keean (key-an). I'm not sure where he got those names, but I thought he was pretty creative. I have a list of my own going, though I have only made it up to the G's. Unfortunately, all the names I really, really like have been used by people I know. It sucks! I realize I could still use them, but we really want something uncommon and cool. Thankfully we still have some time yet.

But of course, even if we pick something, no one will know what it is until the baby is born. I just can't handle everyone's "opinions". ha ha!

My mother may not remember this conversation, but she actually named the Kiddo. When I was about mid pregnancy with him, she (and everyone else) had been bugging me unmercifully about names. One day she had asked me again, and I was so frustrated with the question that I decided to egg her on a bit.

I told her that I had been reading about a certain way of naming a baby where after the baby is born, a spiritual leader divines a name during a ceremony. I told her I thought that would be something we could do, since we were having trouble coming up with a name. She replied exasperated "Oh Dawn, if you do that you'll end up with some horrid name like Kiddo (obviously not his real name)". And that my friends, is how Kiddo got his name. Thank you Nana!

Anyway, this time there will not be discussion of names at all, so don't even ask me. Hubby and I are making a list, checking it twice, and hopefully will have it narrowed down to something we like in time for the baby to be born.

...or we can always just call him Port... ;)

Until,
D :)

Monday, December 17, 2007

Frosty The Snowman

I kind of look like Frosty the Snowman these days...

Ah, I just typed out this big ol' post about driving and the kindness of people during the holidays, but frankly I had to delete it because I just realized that it's not really something I care to put down in my "history book" that is this blog. So, instead, I will just tell you some random things that have been going on here.

Kiddo is cracking. us. up. lately. Some of the things he says - holy moly! I don't know where he gets them or how some things are processing in his little head, but he is quite the character at times! He just amazes me every day.

His latest thing though (which is quite annoying) is that he goes around the house singing the theme song from the t.v. show 2 1/2 Men. You know, "manly men, men, men, manly men, men, men, whoo hoo hoo, huh hoo hoo hoo hoo, manly men, men, men, manly men, men ah ha-uh-aaaahhhh". Yeah. And we don't even watch that show very often, but I think he picked it up the very first time he ever heard it. It was cute the first couple of times, but not so much now that we hear it all evening, every evening. Kiddo also sings the Reading Rainbow song at random times. In the car on the way back from the grocery store I was serenaded by that one. ;)

He is doing really well with the potty training. He stays dry most nights, then it seems we will have a set back for a couple of days and then all is well again. Most times he just tries to go too long without relieving himself and then he has an accident. But, things are getting better. He is getting so big and independent. He actually zipped up his own jacket today - and I was just thrilled!

I am really starting to miss the baby in him though. He doesn't like to be read to forever like he used to, and the times I get to cuddle on the couch are long gone. Sometimes I get a cuddle in the morning, but those are rare as well.

And I think part of my problem is I am realizing that I won't have much one on one time left with him. Pretty soon he'll be fighting for my attention and I won't always be able to give it to him. If I think about it too long I get pretty sad about it.

And just when I thought I was failing him musically, he saw this commercial for a Norelco razor or something and at the end they played two tones. He sang them back to me and said "ti, do". :D :D :D He was right! :) :) (I guess I should thank Little Einsteins for that one)

In baby news, I had my appointment today (since Friday was a bust) and all seems to be well. All she did was check the heartbeat and measure my uterus. I am measuring 23 weeks - but she was having trouble getting the measurement (don't ask) so I am not entirely sure she was accurate.

The cold weather has brought on some lovely Braxton Hicks contractions though, so now I have to be sure to keep the belly warm at all times. I didn't have these much when I was pregnant with Kiddo; I certainly didn't have them this early, so they kind of freak me out. But, from what I understand BH are pretty common in subsequent pregnancies so the nurse practitioner I saw today wasn't concerned when I told her. My next visit, in 4 weeks, will be for the dreaded glucose tolerance test. I have to fast the night before and go in first thing in the morning. Then I drink the syrupy drink and wait an hour for the blood draw. The n/p told me that if I absolutely had to, I could eat a protein meal, but they preferred I not eat anything. I am not particularly worried about the food part, it's the lack of coffee that is going to kill me!

I am at the point now that some days I don't even feel pregnant. It is so strange. But, then he will start kicking and rolling or I'll get horrible heartburn and it all comes back to me! lol!

I guess that's about it. My thoughts are too scattered for much else.

Until,
D :)

Friday, December 14, 2007

Sleep, Baby, Sleep

When you wake up at 4:30 AM, noon feels like 5:00 PM.

Darn dog.

I guess I should be thankful; apparently she scared off someone in the neighbor's yard this morning.

But then she barked every half hour until Hubby and I got up at 7. No one slept. Even Kiddo came wandering in at 6:30 - not really sure why he was up himself. I managed to get him back to bed only to have him wake up at 7 with the rest of us.

I guess it was ok though, because I was needing to get him up anyway for an early ob appointment I had at 8:15. Across town. 45 minutes in early morning traffic. the rest of the gas in my tank. far too early for someone like me to function.

So we get all the way over there, only to walk in to a befuddled receptionist. She twiddled my sign in sticker between her fingers and crinkled her eyebrows. "I don't have you scheduled for a visit today. Are you sure you are supposed to be here? Have you been here before? I mean, besides your last visit, because I don't have you scheduled for anything at all."

#&*%*((*&#&**#*()!!^&*#&#@!!!!!!!!!

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

"Well I was only supposed to see the nurse practitioner." I say.

"Well she only works a half day today and doesn't come in till this afternoon. The earliest we could get you in is Monday." she says.

&$*(^*&#(^(@$*^*(^$&#*(^&(^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sigh*

On the way home I bought donuts. I feel much better now.

Until,
D :)

Sunday, December 09, 2007

She Cries

Ok, so perhaps I shouldn't have said anything. Friday and Saturday morning, the Kiddo crawled into bed with me (like he does every morning), curled up all close and snugly and dozed for 30-45 minutes. I rolled over and looked into his sweet little face, all flush with sleep, and he says to me...


"Mommy, I wet."


uh huh.

So, I guess the novelty wore off sooner than expected. I can say though, that after lots of questions like "You know if you need to go tee-tee in the middle of the night you should get up, right?" and statements such as "If you need to go potty, you go, ok?. We don't want to wake up wet. Mommy is so proud of you when you wake up and are dry." He did actually wake up dry this morning. I am very proud. :)

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

So this morning we made it official. After attending the class and signing all the papers, giving blood and dna samples (ok, I'm kidding about the last two) we are officially members of our church. We were introduced en mass to the second service congregation today and then had to endure the torture that is two very anti social people being placed in a receiving line of sorts so that total strangers can come shake our hands. In all, over 100 people officially joined the church; that is really something to give praise for. It was interesting to see all the different people, young, old, married, single, of all races and backgrounds finding a home in our church.

And I do love that church.

And I really love the music there. I have never been much of a "praise music" person either. I mean, my greatest church music influence was in college. And when you attend the First Baptist Church of most towns you don't get to hear a whole lot of contemporary stuff; especially when the church music director is also the associate chair of the music department at the local university. So for 8 years I was influenced by the old Hymnal tunes, classical pieces and very "old school", traditional teachings. I was surrounded by church music snobs. There just has to be an organ and there has to be a full fledged choir and there can't be rhythm instruments.... well, it wasn't quite that bad, but there were some in the church that thought that way. I remember once one of the choir member's sons wanted to sing a song during a service and play an acoustic guitar. Oh the horror!! The elders all got their undies in a bunch - but they let him perform anyway (at the Sunday evening service) and it was wonderful. And being a classically trained singer with a music degree, the simplicity of most praise music was lost on my overly trained ears. Back then though, I couldn't see past my education to how much praise music reaches people - all kinds of people; and just how powerful that really is. As the years have gone by my heart has been softened to it so much.

The music at our church though is, in my opinion better than just common praise music. The musicians (vocal and instrumental) are truly gifted and most of the music performed is much more complicated than what I had been exposed to after college. It has harmonies and interesting chord progressions and lots and lots of rhythmic variations that interest my inner "music snob". And I love to learn the songs and sing along. Sometimes I make up my own harmonies and I try to envision what it would be like to be able to stand up there and sing. Only a select few get to perform on a regular basis. Rightly so as they are so very talented.

The thing about singing in a church choir all those years is that I was so very involved in Christian music that it really didn't affect me when I sang it. I mean, I got the message and felt the emotion, but it didn't interfere with my vocal ability. I sang all the time - all day at school, after class rehearsals, in between classes for fun, practicing at night, church rehearsals on Wednesday nights and the service on Sunday mornings. Between that and the concerts and just attending music functions all. the. time. it was difficult to really move me; to bring me to tears and break that emotional wall I had built because I was so used to being moved. Does that make sense? I was numb to it really. In a way it was good - it allowed me to perform at a higher level than if I were trying to sing through tears.

But these days the rehearsals and performances have been replaced with "real jobs" and child rearing and I just don't get to sing very often at all. And when I do, it's usually secular music in the car; most of it devoid of emotion and power. Most of it is boiled down to the most basic of marketing appeal and fluff. It is only on the rarest of occasions that music moves me, and usually God has to have a big hand in it.

But when I am in church, oh the music moves me.

It moves me to the point of tears, without fail, every week. The frustration I feel when I can't stop them from coming and the embarrassment of not being able to hit the notes with power and grace overwhelms me. And it makes me want to sing even more.

I must look like a total fool - standing there contorting my face to keep the tears confined within the rims of my eyes; trying to choke back the overflow of whatever it is that is exorcised from me each week. And I think that if I power through it each week, and let my soul be cleansed, eventually I will be able to make it through.

But it isn't getting any easier.

And I don't understand that.

Back in college, the only time I ever got really choked up was maybe at Christmas time. Some years I had a hard time making it through O Holy Night - especially if the choir was particularly good that year. Then sometimes on a rare performance occasion that was truly divine. When the choir made magic. When we performed in a way that we weren't really present; but rather hovering above, watching the performance as if only part of the audience; when the voices took over and the minds were somewhere else entirely. And only then we would choke up afterwards, but not during the actual singing.

I long for an opportunity to perform again. It doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't have to be prestigious or even truly meaningful or high brow or any of that. I just want to sing. I want to be enveloped in music for more than just the 20 minutes it takes to drive to the grocery store. The music at church makes me want to be up on that stage with those chosen few, singing the harmonies I know how to sing and leading the upper registers in a clear voice. But I know right now I could not do it. I can't even make it through one song. No way could I smile and "perform" and raise my hands up to God in praise. I would be too distracted by emotion and all this weirdness that pours fourth from me when I try to do the one thing I've been doing all my life. Why is it so much harder now??

I had thought it was just rusty-ness; not being in it all enough. But that's not it.

When Hubby and I lived in Phoenix, I worked nights and weekends at a wonderful upscale restaurant in Scottsdale. On Friday and Saturday nights I worked as a cocktail waitress in the bar upstairs. And on those nights we had live music. I've mentioned David recently. He is a fantastic musician and a wonderful soul and he is also extremely generous. He would let me sing with him whenever I wanted to, and I did quite often. When it was slow, he and I would practice and then once the patrons filled the bar I would sing a song or two in between slinging drinks.

I loved every. single. minute.

THAT is how I always envisioned my singing career. Sitting on a stool next to a guy on acoustic guitar singing ballads and slow jazz and all my favorite songs. And even though there had been some time between my school music career and singing with David, I never got choked up. It was easy and natural and real and I loved it. Sure, I was nervous. And some nights it was all I could do to sing to an empty room - but I never experienced the emotional car wreck that happens to me each Sunday in church.

What is that?!?

I wish I knew. And I wish I could get over it already and enjoy singing again.

Until,
D :)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Silver and Gold

Oh yes, and in talking about Kiddo and potty training and all that jazz, I forgot to mention one thing.

When we were on our way home after Thanksgiving, one of our many stops was at a small town Dairy Queen for a Kiddo potty break. I hustled him inside, braving the cold rain only to find that the women's facilities were out of order. After a few seconds of hesitation, I hauled him back out to the car and told Hubby he was going to have to take him in (not something Hubby likes to do - are men's restrooms really that bad??). So they went in and did their business and in the process Kiddo got to see Hubby using a urinal for the first time. Apparently he was fascinated.


And ever since he has insisted on peeing standing up.


yup.


I was hoping I wouldn't have to clean up that kind of mess for a while yet.


But, much to my surprise, Kiddo is pretty good at aiming, and Daddy even taught him to wipe the rim with toilet paper after every pee. Yay Daddy!! I wouldn't have even thought to do that! :)


So that's it I guess.


Oh yes, I do have one more thing...


22 weeks. :)

Oh Come All Ye Faithful

Hee hee!

So November ends and I fall off the planet! Is that how it works?? Sorry folks, that was not my intention, but you know how life kinda gets in the way?? Well, yeah.

"Oh Come Let Us Adore Him..."

So lots of things have been going on here in the house of Fry. The Kiddo has made some awesome strides into boy-hood and I am so proud of him. He is officially now off of the Lactose free milk! We started the weaning process a little before Thanksgiving. While we were visiting the family, my mom had pre-purchased some lactose free milk so Kiddo drank that like a good little guest. Back at home though, we went back to regular ol' 2% lactose milk and haven't looked back. He seems to be tolerating it just fine, thank goodness. My grocery budget has been transformed! Steak for everybody!!!

Ok, so I get excited about little things, but saving $15-20 a month by not having to buy special milk is sooooo cool!

"Oh Come Let Us Adore Him..."

And the biggest news yet, Mr. Kiddo is officially diaper free!!! Can I get an AMEN!?! Last week we were having some pretty significant accidents during the day. In the heat of frustration (on my knees for the second time that day cleaning up a completely soaked floor and Kiddo) I asked Kiddo if I needed to put him back in "baby diapers". Of course, being the big boy that he is, he violently protested and vowed to not have any more accidents. I guess what I said took a few days to marinate in his little brain because a few nights later I was putting on his pull up before bed and he asked me in the most pitiful voice if he was a baby again. AWWWW!! I felt so bad! He thought I was punishing him by putting on the diaper - and I couldn't get him to understand that the pull up was for big boys so we decided right then and there to go cold turkey. He has been in underwear at night for 4 nights now and there have been no accidents!! Yippie!!

I do realize that the novelty will wear off soon and I will be changing pee soaked sheets in the middle of the night a few times but for right now I am celebrating, ok?

Actually he is really good about getting up in the middle of the night if he needs to go. Of course he runs in our room loudly announcing that he needs to go, but what's a night if there isn't a kid waking me about something, right?

Speaking of children waking me, why does my unborn babe choose to practice tap dancing at 3:00 in the morning???

"Oh Come Let Us Adore Him!..."

In sad Kiddo news, the holidays have officially spoiled my child rotten. Advertisers have successfully bored into his brain and reprogrammed him to be the most obnoxious, greedy child on earth. I think we may need to sign him up for toy ad detox when all this is done. We cannot go into ANY store right now without him begging, pleading, protesting loudly until we peruse the toy section (even at the grocery store for crying out loud!). And heaven forbid I don't purchase a newly released Cars diecast car for him to take home. Dang Disney! They keep releasing new Cars cars and my kid is about to drive me insane! He now has at least 6 different versions of Lightning McQueen and still wants the couple he doesn't have. (no worries, the little stinker will most likely get the rest of them in his stocking)

Today at Target I declared "no more!" and refused to even go to the toy section. Oh the tantrum that ensued. Oh the kicking! Oh the screaming! Oh the looks from strangers! What is it about Target that brings out his inner beast?!? We got out to the parking lot and he refused to get out of the shopping cart. I would lift him up and he would just go limp, locking his feet in the little leg holes in the seat. I finally, in all my pregnant glory, had to yank him out as quickly as I could so he couldn't get a foot hold. In the process he whacked my sunglasses with his head and of course screamed and cried some more. I put him in the car seat kicking and punching and he screamed the whole way home. I pulled in the driveway, put the car in park, turned and looked back at him. And I kid you not, he looked at me, closed his eyes and went to sleep! Turkey.

So as a reward for being such an awesome Mommy today I am sitting here doing one of my favorite things (blogging) and stuffing my face with mint chocolate M&Ms.

Happy holidays!
Until,
D :)

Friday, November 30, 2007

Last Dance Rodeo

Well here it is my friends, the last post of November, and the last post of NaBloPoMo 07. Thank you all for sticking it out with me through the long, the short and the ridiculous!


The one thing I remembered I forgot (or was it I forgot I remembered?) about NaBloPoMo, is that the pressure of having to post every day (whether I normally do or not) sucks all the creative juices right out of my tiny brain. So, I wholeheartedly apologize for boring you with my drivel and leaving you hanging on a few posts. I know I never finished telling my Dallas adventure story, but after that first post it didn't seem too interesting. And I also realize I still haven't shown you pictures of Kiddo's birthday or his first boat ride. *sigh* I just let it get away from me. And just like when you are in a good fight and are doing the silent stand off thing, the longer you let it go the harder it is to just speak already! So, since it's been 3 months since Kiddo's birthday, pulling up the pictures now seems kind of pointless. I'll probably do it anyway, because after all, this is serving as some documentation of his life. It would be weird to not have that day represented photographically.

Anyway, I have made some great new bloggy friends and have discovered some awesome new bloggy reads. I am so glad I participated!

I also discovered through this that I need to get back to being more real; more raw, more in the moment. Just the sheer number of comments left on my post the other day told me that. All of your words were so kind and so thoughtful. It made me realize that not only do you all read, but you care - and it is ok for me to be less than glossy here.

So my friends, now that November is behind us, we are plunging head first into Christmas and all it has to offer. I hope you stick with me through the triumphs and frustrations and the inevitable assortment of baked goods and funny stories. I look forward to reading about yours as well.

Until,
D :)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Connfessions of Love

Overheard in a conversation between Dinaco Blue Lightning McQueen and The King:

The King: "I love you!"

Lightning McQueen: "NO you DON'T!! You don't love me!!"

The King: "Yes I do, I love YOU!"

Lightning McQueen: "Oh no you don't!"

The King: "Yes, I love you!"


??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Where does he get his stuff?

Until,
D :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Life's a Great BIg Mystery Show

Aww, my heart is so warm today! Thank you all for your sweet comments on my last post. I am feeling much better now. :) :)

Yesterday really didn't get much better. After spewing all over my blog I did feel better, but then later on that evening, as I was cooking dinner, Hubby called to inform me that he had locked his keys in his car when he went for a bike ride. Across town. And at that moment he was sitting in the dark using a stranger's cell phone to call me and he needed me to come and unlock the car. Why oh why do we not have AAA???

The problem was I was in the middle of cooking fish - not exactly something I could stop cooking and cover until later. Plus Kiddo and I were starving - I didn't really know what to do. I didn't want to waste good salmon and yet my Hubby was stranded.... what to do, what to do?

I'll have to admit I was not being a Godly wife. I was mad and frustrated. The day had been so emotional already and all I could do was get angry. Hubby didn't do any of that on purpose of course, but I just didn't see it as anything but an inconvenience to me. I vented to a friend on instant messenger and huffed and puffed for a good five minutes or so and my phone rang again. Hubby had managed to pull off a windshield wiper and poke around in the window until he got the door unlocked. The boy could be MacGyver I tell you.

Anyway, by the time he got home I had cooled off. But I have to say God had a good talk with me when I went to bed last night. Consider me lovingly scolded.

So today was the big level II ultrasound. I have to say it was at one of the most beautiful doctor's offices I've ever seen. They used to be in a ratty old office by the medical center, and boy have they stepped up! Anyway, the doctor was wonderful - very personable, knowledgeable and informative. He listened to what I had to say, really knew what he was talking about and treated me like I actually have a brain in my head (though the jury is still out on that one!). And I am completely thrilled to report that after thorough inspection, the baby looks amazing and healthy and wonderful! Everything is where it should be, the size it should be and functioning properly. He is actually measuring about 4-5 days ahead, as opposed to earlier reports of 2-3 weeks. The doctor was very positive about that because most Lupus babies run the risk of being small. So as long as he stays on track things should be good. He wants to see me once a month until 36 weeks and then every week after that. He also wants me to start taking a baby aspirin a day, extra calcium and flax seed oil to hopefully help delay and/or prevent the onset of pre-e. It's not a proven method, but it couldn't hurt.

The unfortunate side of the visit is that I have to do a couple of tests. The first being a 24 hour pee test. Ugh! I got the wonderful parting gift of a half gallon jug and instructions on collecting my samples for 24 hours. Joy. His parting words were, "just don't go hunting for the apple juice in the fridge in the middle of the night!" Oh the humor! Once the samples have been collected, I have to go to the lab for some more blood tests. Vampires! Oh well, it is totally worth it. But I fear I am going to need a bigger jug.... do they know how much a pregnant woman pees??!? I wonder what they'll do when I walk in with a couple of milk jugs in tow...

I warned you all I would tell you the good, the bad and the gross. Don't act like that. ;)

I have lots of good ultrasound pics from the visit. This boy is not near as cheeky as Kiddo was. He was lounging most of the time during the exam; his little legs were crossed at the ankle and he was using the placenta as a pillow under his head. It certainly didn't stop him from kicking the ultrasound tech a few times though. He's an active little bugger!

So if you want some stats on lupus, heartblock, preeclampsia and second pregnancies I can give you a few. For pre-e, a first pregnancy woman has about a 15% chance of developing it overall. If you add Lupus to that the chances multiply by 6. So, it was inevitable that I had pre-e the first time. The second time around (if the father of the baby is the same) the normal chances are about 5%. A woman with Lupus on her second pregnancy (with the same father) is again multiplied by 6 - so about 30%. If the father is different the second time around, the normal percentage is again 30% and with Lupus x6.

If I do actually have Lupus (which we still are not sure because it is such a hard disease to diagnose; AND I am missing one symptom to actually diagnose me with it) the chance of the baby having heart block is about 5%. The chances of the baby having heart block severe enough to require a pacemaker is less than 1%. Since my SS-A antibodies are severely elevated, pointing to the possibility of Sjögren's syndrome, the chance of heartblock is slightly higher, but I think it still breaks down to less than 1% for pacemaker. Are you confused yet? I certainly am. The point is, the chance of anything going wrong is very small - which is glorious news, but the chance of Kiddo having the troubles he had was very small as well. He was practically a medical miracle if you look at all the "odds". But anyway, it is good to focus on the positive.

So, all in all, Hubby and I are in love with my Perinatologist. He is a great guy and I am looking forward to having him on the "team". Now to find a rheumatologist.... the hunt begins. ;)

Until,
D :)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

6th Avenue Heartache

I am a hormonal mess today. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have been on the verge of tears all day long. I just want to sit and cry, or throw something, or stare into thin air, David Puddy style. I am stressed out, and tired and everything is a mess. The house especially. I need to clean but I need to get my work done and I just don't feel like anyone cares.

I probably shouldn't be writing a post when I feel this way, but I need to get it out. I have far too much going on and no one to support me even with the smallest things. I need a break. I keep telling myself if I can just push through this week, it will all be better, but of course there is so much I want to do this week that I don't want to put off any longer and I know none of it is going to get done. I want to get the holiday decorations up. I want to get things picked up and put away, even if it is only for a little while. I want to go to a friend's house on Wednesday night and relax and smell the fall Scentsy stuff and not think for a while, but I doubt it will happen because I just can't get away.

I just feel like it is all heaped on my shoulders right now and it's not fair.

I am getting frustrated at the littlest things; the car being out of gas, the car not being completely unloaded from our trip, the trash laying around two feet from the trash can, the car seat being on the other side of the car now instead of the middle. It is so inconvenient. I got mad at myself for forgetting my reusable shopping bags when I went to the grocery store because they got taken out of my car and I didn't realize it until I was already there. The grocery clerk charging me for the wrong kind of tomato that cost 3Xs as much as the one I had, and I couldn't tell him to change it because Kiddo was pitching a fit. Kiddo pitching a fit because the grocery store didn't have the blue Chick Hicks that they advertised in the paper.

I want to crawl back into bed, but I wouldn't be comfortable. I am not sleeping much lately. Either I am getting leg cramps or having weird dreams that wake me up or the neighbor dog is barking or Kiddo is getting up to potty - it never ends at night. Why do I even bother going to bed?

And being pregnant is just sucking lately. I remember with Kiddo, I felt so good pregnant. I felt special and healthy and had this sort of zen understanding of the circle of life and was all goo goo eyed about bringing a new life into the world. Now I feel ugly and fat and unimportant. People don't care about a second baby as much I guess. Plus, there are all the wonderful (spoken with sarcasm) things that happen to your body when pregnant. I mean, beyond the discomfort and the leg cramps, you get the exciting world of acne and stretch marks and dry skin and strange twitches. My right eye lid has twitched for a week now. And the snot - my gracious the SNOT! What the heck is with that??!? It's not something you can blow or wipe away. It just drains and sticks in the back of your throat and chokes you at every given moment. I am keeping Puffs tissue in business my friends. My fingernails are growing rapidly and breaking off even more rapidly. I cut them short and they are still popping off.

And I really want Christmas to be special this year because I really thought Kiddo was finally going to understand everything - but he is driving me crazy and ruining any good holiday feelings I can muster up because he is so about getting all kinds of toys and junk he sees in the papers and has no concept of time and that Christmas is a month away. (can you say run-on sentence?) He thinks that if we go see Santa he is going to get a Lightning McQueen car. I don't know where he got that, but now I am afraid to take him to Santa for pictures because he's going to expect some kind of gift. And when he doesn't get it he's going to pitch another fit - like we don't get enough of those in one day. I am so sick of the whining and the crying about EVERYTHING - I could just scream. I try to be nice and make things special for him every now and then, but ultimately he will whine or fuss or be outright rude about something and I have to take it away and then I am the mean mommy because I changed my mind. I am tired of being the mean mommy. I want to have sweet moments and special times and he is completely keeping me from being able to do that. I have not really had any fun with him for weeks and I miss it.

Ugh, this is the most depressing post ever. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I am going to drink a Dr. Pepper now and hope it makes me feel better for a little while. I doubt it will.

Until,
D :(

Monday, November 26, 2007

Standing Still

Ugh, I think I have carpel tunnel now. I have been non-stop editing for the past 2 days and my wrist and my elbow (of all things) is killing me!

I haven't even had the chance to read any blogs today! Oh the shame!

I still have one more session to proof and then I am done. Yippie! Kiddo gets his mommy back! Christmas decorations may actually go up; the floor will be visible once again. Ok, well, the floor will be visible for a minute or two at least.

In baby news, I am doing good. He is moving around all the time now. I have a level II ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday and I am so excited. And nervous. And excited. And stressed. I am afraid of what they might find, but glad for the opportunity to see the baby in such detail. I pray that all is well. Lord, please give me strength.

I guess that is it for now. I am too brain dead for much else at the moment.

A little Jewel for you... Standing Still
Until,
D :P

Sunday, November 25, 2007

You Can Sleep While I Drive

Ok, I've had my morning coffee, I've had 3 sausage kolaches (4, 5, ok 6 - but they are small; like a cocktail weenie wrapped in 1/4 of a biscuit. Leave me alone! ;) ) to stifle my hunger and I think I can effectively blog now. Although, that last sentence was riddled with spelling errors!

Anyway, we had a nice holiday "weekend" with the parents in LA (that's Louisiana for you west coasters!). We drove up there Wednesday afternoon. The drive is always a chore, but this year with Kiddo newly potty trained and a huge cold front coming in, it was even more taxing. We had to stop several times for potty breaks and fighting the gusting winds from the front really took a toll on my stamina during the 6 1/2 hour trip. But, we made it there safely, and with only one hiccup from the CRV's iffy "car health". Somewhere in the middle of the drive we pulled up to a stop light and it started it's chugging thing again, but the check engine light thankfully didn't come on.

Visiting with the folks was nice, but hard on my blogging as you may have noticed. I didn't get a lot of time to just sit and reflect. I did manage to get some work done, but not as much as I was hoping for - so the next 24-48 hours are going to be a marathon edit session for me. Hubby needs to just keep the water and snacks coming and keep the Kiddo out of my hair and we should be ok.

The weather here is disgusting. Last week we had 80 degree temps and now it is in the 30's and raining. And that leads me to the drive home yesterday...

On a clear day, the drive from my parents house to mine should take a reasonable person with a child about 6 1/2 hours. (it only takes my Dad 5, but that is a post about his crazy driving for another time!) On the way there on Wednesday that was about how long it took. Yesterday though, we were dealing with severely cold temps and rain (severely cold for TX y'all, not the north, ok) so everyone was driving a bit slower than normal. I was a nervous wreck - in my younger years driving in the rain didn't bother me at all, but in October of '04 I was in my first major car accident when Hubby, Kiddo (5 weeks old) and I hydroplaned in the rain on the interstate and hit a concrete barrier. The wreck was terribly traumatic for me and has forever left me with a nervous driving demeanor in less than dry weather. I no longer appreciate the tapping of rain on the roof of the car or the rhythmic swish of the windshield wipers...

Anyway, we cruised along most of the way at about 10 mph below the speed limit and for the most part things were going well. After a couple of stops (for potty and food) we were about 3 1/2 hours into the drive and Kiddo said he needed to potty again. So, I pulled off the road into the driveway of some little closed up business in the middle of nowhere and Hubby took Kiddo out to tinkle (lucky boys that can pee anywhere...). We got back on the road and a couple minutes later I commented to Hubby that the car sounded like it was driving "rough". It didn't feel weird or anything, there was just an odd rhythmic sound coming from what I thought was the engine. Hubby commented that it sounded like the tires to him, and that we should consider having them balanced and rotated when we got home. The sound got progressively worse, and finally Hubby told me to pull off the road so he could have a look.

Our front passenger tire was completely flat! Joy.

Now - I have to interject here that there is something about my Hubby that causes any situation like this to never by "typical" for him. He can't just have a flat or a car malfunction. Something has to be weird or unusual about the situation. I on the other hand, tend to be lucky in matters like this. My first flat tire happened as I pulled into my parent's driveway (I was in high school). My car caught fire as I pulled into my own driveway several years later and we were able to put it out quickly, suffering minimal damage because the hose was right there. Various other car issues happened to me with little incident - cars would die and coast perfectly into well lit, safe parking areas. God has always watched over me and blessed me greatly in times like these.

But my poor, poor Hubby. Unfortunately, my good luck is completely negated when I am with him. His track record for unusual, seemingly impossible situations is stuff of legend in our family (or at least it should be). For example, shortly after we were married we moved to AZ. We had returned to TX a few weeks later to attend a family wedding and to pick up our van that had been left here in the move. After the wedding we were supposed to drive a couple of hours and stay overnight with Hubby's grandparents, then the next day finish the drive to AZ. On the way out of town, something happened with the van and we had to stop in a gas station to make a repair. Thankfully Hubby's parents hadn't left town yet, and they met us at the station to help out. Hubby left the van running and was working on something when his dad got in to check out something else. His dad got out, and in the process accidentally hit the automatic door lock on the door. The van was locked up, empty of passengers and running. Hubby's keys were of course in the ignition and mine were in my purse in the van. We had no way of getting in. After fretting for a good long while, I kind stranger noticed our situation and realized that his youngest child might be able to squeeze through a tiny back sliding window that we just happened to have cracked. Sure enough, the skinny kid slithered though the opening and unlocked the doors. A miracle!

After that, we were on the way to the grandparent's house and got a flat tire. Hubby changed the flat only to find that the spare was also flat. So we called the grandparents (very late at night mind you) and they had to go to Walmart to buy a pump and bring it too us. We were stranded on I10 in the middle of nowhere in the pitch blackness and only by the grace of God did Hubby's grandparents find us! Well, airing up the tire caused our weakened car battery to die, so they had to maneuver their car around backwards on the shoulder to give us a jump. Hubby's grandfather, God rest his soul, was at the age where his senility was starting to set in and for some reason he thought he could stand in the middle of the dark freeway and flag down the big rigs flying by (at oh about 80mph) so they would move over to the far lane. He was standing in the middle of the road, waving his arms like a lunatic and poor Hubby had to tackle the surprisingly strong man and wrestle him back to the safety of the shoulder. Grandmaw and I just sat in the car, trying not to watch and praying with all our might. We finally got everything fixed and arrived at their house quite late.

And I cannot even begin to relate to you Hubby's riding adventures; filled with near death experiences and miracles upon miracles. God works overtime to protect this boy, let me tell you!

Anyway, back to yesterday and the flat tire. Of course, it couldn't be typical. Of course, the rain was falling and it was sooooo very cold. Of course, we didn't have a lug wrench - WHAT??!? That's right, no lug wrench. Poor hubby was using a socket wrench and the seat post from his mountain bike (yeah, you read that right) to try to get the lug nuts off the tire. And, the pièce de résistance, of course, the spare was flat! Oh boy. We were miles from the nearest town, with no real tools or anyone to help us and Hubby was risking pneumonia out in the rain. Hubby remembered he had a hand tire pump for his bike (the small, compact, about 10 inches in length kind) so there he was, out in the freezing rain, pumping like a mad man trying to get some air in the tire. After about 15 minutes, by the grace of God once again some total stranger drove by and saw him furiously pumping away on the side of the road. The man had just purchased a bicycle tire pump for his daughter for Christmas (the kind you stand on and pump up and down with your arms) and thought to himself that at least it might be more effective than the little thing Hubby was using. He turned his truck around and pulled in to help. He and his friend helped Hubby get the tire aired and changed and with only a heartfelt thanks from us were on their way.

We got back on the road, found a Napa auto parts store in the next town and bought a can of fix-a-flat. Thankfully though, the air held all the way home.

We still don't know what caused the flat. Hubby checked the tire for nails and such but saw nothing. I am just so thankful for the kindness of strangers. Those two men didn't have to stop, much less make a u-turn on a busy road to help us. They didn't have to stand out in the cold rain while their hands burned from the cold and the harshness of manual labor. And the driver certainly didn't have to unwrap his daughter's Christmas present to help a stranger! But because they did my family is home now and safe and dry. I pray God blesses them in a special way for doing such a kind act.

So, a few more bathroom stops and much driving later, we made it home after 8 hours on the road. As I said yesterday, I am SO thankful to be home; so thankful for my warm bed and ratty old robe to lounge in; so thankful for my family and the little goodness that is left in the world.

I apologize for the empty blog posts as of late. Hopefully now I can get back to writing so much you have to take your own potty break in the middle! I hope you had a great week, and many wonderful weeks to come this holiday season.

Until,
D :)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Homeward Bound

It is so good to be home! Hubby, Kiddo, Dog and I ventured forth this holiday week to the wilds of Louisiana to spend a couple of days with my parents.

The drive both to and from was taxing and frustrating, but for different reasons. Good grief, I want to tell you about it but something is not connecting between my brain and my fingers and it has taken me 10 minutes to type out 3 lines of text. I think I will go to bed and try for this tomorrow.

Sleep tight!

Until,
D :)

Friday, November 23, 2007

Black Friday (there should be a song for this)

One more day and I should be back to regular posting. Until then, I hope you are having a great holiday weekend with friends and family. Did you go shopping today?? I am not brave enough to venture out into the mall on Black Friday so we didn't do any real shopping. I did hit a local craft show though, and spied some cute things to file away in the recesses of the old brain.

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day.
Until,
D :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Too Darn Hot

It's Thanksgiving eve, and we are with family preparing for the feast tomorrow. I am so ready for some turkey and dressing and all the goodies that come along with it. Thankfully the weather has finally figured out that it is winter, and the 80 degree temps of this morning have given way to the 40-50 degree temps expected for the next few days. It's a good thing, because I was having a really hard time getting into the "holiday spirit" when I had to dress in short sleeves and shorts!


My posts will most likely be short and sweet for the next couple of days, but know that I am thinking of all of you and hoping that your holidays are filled with joy, laughter and good memories. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family, and an amazing on line community to call home as well.

I wish you all many blessings.
Until,
D :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Don't

My clever little boy knows that he is not to touch Daddy's laptop (which happens to be sitting on our coffee table right now). So, tonight as Hubby and I were running around getting stuff done all over the house, I realized I hadn't checked on Kiddo in a while. I peeked into the living room to see what he was doing and he was standing in front of Hubby's computer, kind of dancing around it as if the temptation to touch was overwhelming. I gently reminded him that we don't touch Daddy's computer, and left the room. Several minutes later I hear a "clackity, clack, clack, clack!" Coming from the living room. I rush in there, already scolding him for pounding on the keyboard. When I rounded the corner and got a good look, I was shocked.

Kiddo had gone to his room and retrieved his keyboard (an old desktop model that we let him play with). He then took the keyboard and set it on top of Hubby's laptop and was pretending to work on Daddy's computer by clacking away at the keys! Sneaky, sneaky! He of course couldn't get in trouble because he wasn't technically touching Daddy's computer, and it is ok for him to pound on his own keyboard.

What am I going to do with such a clever boy??

Until,
D :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Weeping Tree

What am I going to do with this child??!? I know age three is supposed to be bad, but this is ridiculous. He can be such a good boy sometimes, and then in the next moment so extremely aggravating and defiant that I hardly recognize him. I miss my sweet, cuddly little man. I miss him snuggling up with me at any time of day and talking sweet to me while he strokes my hair. Now, I may get a cuddle or a hug but every time it is immediately followed by a whine or a demand (or a hit or a "NO!"). What changed? Am I doing something different?

His newest thing is saying "I'm sad" and then fake crying or dramatically throwing himself down with a hand over the eyes (and no, I do not let him watch soap operas!). I'm not even sure he knows what "sad" means - but it does concern me that he uses it in out-of-the-blue type situations. He will just burst into tears or suddenly start whining. Maybe it is an attention getting tactic? That doesn't make sense though, because most of the time I try not to react.

I do think his bed time needs to be moved back again. He just seems so tired in the evenings. Bath time is becoming increasingly difficult and he goes to sleep very fast once we get him to bed. It is so hard though to put him to bed earlier; I don't know how people do it because by the time Hubby gets home from work and we eat dinner it is usually around 8:00. Then we do a bath and shut things down around the house and I can get him to bed by 9:15 - 9:30 at the earliest. I suppose I could switch baths to mornings, but then I don't know if he would actually be able to wind down in the evening without one.

I just don't know how I am going to do this with two. I really don't. I am so busy right now. And though I realize I won't be so busy with photo shoots and such when the baby comes, I do intend to keep working as much as I can. But how the heck am I going to take care of Kiddo, a newborn, and my work? I hope the newbie sleeps a lot!

Speaking of sleep, I should head to bed. I've got lots to do tomorrow.

Until,
D :)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Little Sister

Hubby and I survived the church nursery this morning. Hubby ended up in Kiddo's room and I was next door. He actually liked being in there because he could watch how Kiddo interacted with all the other kids and also how he behaved. For some reason lately, Kiddo has been terribly moody; he will tell us he's sad and will burst into tears for no apparent reason at least once a day. I don't know if he is just trying to understand everything that is going on with the neighbors moving, or if it is because we have all been very busy and Mommy and Daddy both have gone out of town a couple of times, or what. Maybe it is just a growth spurt or a faze, but whatever it is, today was no exception and Hubby said Kiddo burst into tears on a couple of occasions during Sunday School. He also said Kiddo wasn't really interested in the songs or the other kids; that he just kind of kept to himself and was in his own little world. The disconnect doesn't surprise me much, Hubby stays in that private little world a lot so I know where that comes from (and I mean that in the best way, Dear). But not being interested in the music was a bit shocking because Kiddo sings all the songs at home all the time with such passion and joy.

I was christened at the very beginning of the class when a little girl had to go potty. Since women are the only ones who can take the little ones to the restroom and I was the only woman in the room, I had to take her in. They have these little shared bathrooms between the classrooms that have a real, little potty and a couple of portable kid training potties. The real potty was occupied so I had to put her on the trainer. Let me just say, without going into too much detail that it was not pleasant and there was lots to clean. *ahem* I mean, I wouldn't mind that if it were my own child, but it was just a bit nauseating cleaning up after someone else. My hat is off to the janitors of the world. I could not do your job. I think the worst part was that even in potty training the Kiddo I never had to clean out the little training potty. He just preferred the big potty so it was not an issue. I think I got REAL lucky!

So lunch was filled with conversation about the kids we watched and all the things that happened. I am very proud of Hubby for making it through and actually getting somewhat involved (whether he wanted to or not!). I know how nervous he was.

I had another photo shoot this afternoon. The weather is really testing my faith right now - but once again we managed to get a good hour in and the rain held off. The clouds were actually beneficial in that they evened out all the light and kept me from getting nasty shadows.

So that is the update. I am sorry I am not more interesting, but it is late and I have been editing all afternoon and my brain is fried. Maybe I can get some early posts in this week that will be a bit more thought provoking. Ahh, who am I kidding?

I appreciate your loyalty though. Thanks for reading.

Until,
D :)

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters

Another long day today - two photo shoots, lots of driving, editing and just general activity and I am pooped!

The shoots went well. I was a bit worried because there was some rain in the forecast, but thankfully things held off in the shoot areas until after I was done. Praise God! Even with a last minute change of venue, I was able to get them both done. I have another shoot tomorrow, and then I have to shift gears and get ready for the Thanksgiving holiday. There is so much to think about there. You know, I need a grocery list so I can got all the ingredients for all the cookies and stuff I am going to bake. Priorities, priorities!

And of course I will be editing my hiney off as well! No rest for the weary my friends! Ahh, it is so good to be busy though. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to have so much business right now. It really feeds my soul.

We may have had a breakthrough in the car situation. There was a recall put out on the Honda CRV for a faulty ignition switch and that could have been what caused the sudden death of my vehicle as I was driving the other day. Thankfully the local Honda dealer has the part in stock and can replace it for me on Monday. All this is progress yes, but we still don't know what caused the trouble in Dallas last weekend and we are leery of driving the darn thing for any great distance before we figure it out. And we don't know if any or all the problems we've been having are related. Why can't cars be simpler? *sigh*

So anyway, I think I shall turn in early tonight. Hubby and I are volunteering in the nursery at church tomorrow, so I should probably get all the sleep I can in preparation!

Until,
D :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

New Day

Oh what a day. I was finally able to get an appointment with my old OB, and it was this morning. Poor Kiddo had to go with me and endure an hour and a half wait in the exam room before the doctor came in. Poor little guy, he was bored to death. I brought some things for him to do but it just wasn't enough to hold his interest. I think next time I will have to plan ahead and pack some totally new coloring books or something.

Anyway, I am so relieved now to know I have someone on the same page as me. The doctor listened to (and heard) my concerns and we decided together on a game plan of sorts for this pregnancy. He told me that most of the time Lupus pregnancies are just like any other, and as long as we are watching for and prepared for anything that could happen we should be ok. He wants to put together a team of sorts; a perinatologist, a rheumatologist and himself - and familiarize everyone with my particular case so that we are all up to speed when the time comes. I think that is a fabulous idea. He asked me to schedule a Level 2 Ultrasound for two weeks from now so that the baby's heart and kidneys can be thoroughly looked at and also so I can get a good measurement on this gigantic kid. He also has referred me to a rheumatologist so I can give him/her my history. As for the history of pre-eclampsia, he suggested that we might have me take a baby aspirin a day. Apparently there is something about aspirin that makes you produce the enzyme/hormone/something I can't remember that women who develop pre-e are lacking. Did that make sense? Anyway, I tend to bleed a lot so we are going to consult with the other "team" members to see if that is a viable option. It may just be that I have to taper it toward the end.

So, today I feel much more confident in my care. I am hoping Medicaid doesn't kick back all these referrals - please pray that I will not have too much trouble getting things covered. Most everyone I have talked to in similar situations says they had no trouble getting things paid for, but I am skeptical because of all the issues I've had thus far. I'm honestly beginning to think that it is the TX system, (specifically my county) and not Medicaid as a whole that has the problems. But, that is neither here nor there, I just need to be diligent and calm and patient and , and, and...yeah. Please pray for my sanity!

So I guess that is the update. The rest of my week has looked like this:
  • My neighbor and friend is gone. I am just so deeply saddened. I couldn't even tell her goodbye. She is not a crier and I am so we just hugged quickly and turned away. I can't believe she's gone.
  • Kiddo is having potty training issues. He has had an accident every day this week. I think he is just too busy playing to get to the bathroom in time. On the other hand, he has been waking up dry almost every morning! Go figure!
  • The car. My word, where do I start? I had issues in Dallas. We thought we kind of had it figured out. Then yesterday on the way home from the grocery store it flat out died on me. while I was going 40mph. dead. I coasted off the road, put it in park and started it up again. It ran fine all the way home. I am totally baffled.

Ack there is more but this is depressing me. I have a busy weekend ahead and need to focus people!

Talk to you tomorrow.

Until,

D :)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Cleopatra, Queen of Denial

Call me the Queen!


My wonderful, caring, sweet, amazing, generous friend who has blessed me and my family for the past 4 years is moving. See, she lives next door to me. I know God put her in that house to take care of me and the Kiddo. I was floored the first day she knocked on my door. Her arms were full of little boy clothes in just the size Kiddo was wearing. And though we had never met, she acted like we'd known each other forever and it was totally normal for her to come to my house. When she handed me the clothes and then turned away, I shut the door and stood there for a long time in disbelief.

Her visits became more frequent; each time she had something to give us. Shoes and sleepers and clothing and supplies for the baby mostly, but each time she would chat for a brief moment before leaving - always staying just long enough for me to enjoy it but not too long to be a bother. And over the past few years we have become pretty good friends. Kiddo absolutely adores her and her kids and I do too. We've exchanged babysitting, watched over each other's houses, hosted garage sales together, gone on girl's nights out, celebrated birthdays and joyous occasions, as well as trials and heartache.

And today the moving company came and packed up her things. Tomorrow they will load up and drive them all to Houston. And here I sit, like it is just any other day, not letting myself feel the sadness that I know is going to hit me soon enough. I can't even begin to imagine what it is going to be like to not have her to lean on when I need her; to know she's not there for a quick word or a long afternoon of coffee and talking. I don't have many friends; certainly not many that are close by and have kids Kiddo's age. She was right there - not more than 20 feet away and I feel like I have taken advantage of it for these few short years. I should have done more with her, gone over more often, put in more time. I should have appreciated her so much more.

Oh how I have appreciated her. Oh how I am going to miss her. I just don't know how I am going to cope once this new baby comes. She was my saving grace with Kiddo, and now I have no one like her to save my sanity.

Tomorrow she is coming by briefly to say goodbye. Oh sure, we will see each other again. She promises frequent trips back and we do go to Houston every once in a while. Thankfully her new house is quite near to the inlaws. But it will be a goodbye, nonetheless. And I can't help but wonder how emotional I'll be. For the past few weeks since we found out they were moving I have been relatively calm about it. Sure, I have had a few panicky moments here and there, but I know the full reality of it hasn't set in yet. I know my feelings are hiding way down; beneath all the work on my plate, this new being inside of me, the doctor's visits and dealing with my darling 3 year old. I know they will rise to the surface soon. I don't know how I will handle it.

Once the house is dark and empty, so will be the space in my heart that her family has filled these past 4 years. I don't know if I can take it.

Until,
D

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Things You Don't Say

Oh man, this is getting tough. I've been trying to think about something to write about all day and I am just at a loss. I am sitting here in bed with the laptop (which is one of my favorite things to do) and I am watching a rerun of Letterman. (why???? I don't know - too lazy to change the channel I guess)

Anyway, since I am at such a loss today, I am going to steal and idea from a thread we have on bbc today, which is titled "Things I Like". So here is my list.

Things I Like:
  • the smell of my son after a bath
  • clean sheets
  • my Baked Apple Pie scent in the Scentsy warmer
  • feeling my baby kick inside of me
  • hearing my Hubby say "I Love You"
  • fried chicken, mashed potatoes and fried okra
  • anything mint and chocolate
  • sweet toddler kisses and hugs
  • the sound of my son singing
  • the way my son says "Jesus"
  • the sound of a choir singing
  • the way I feel when the praise team at church performs
  • the smell in the air the first few days of Fall
  • the way Hubby smells after he shaves
  • Christmas music
  • my first sip of coffee in the morning
  • the fizzing of an ice cold Dr. Pepper being poured over Sonic ice
  • campfire breakfasts
  • the smell of garlic and butter cooking
  • a nice fitting pair of jeans
  • a great hair cut and color
  • making a client happy with a photo shoot
  • hot showers
  • God's grace and love

I'm sure there are more, but this is what I can think of right now.

If you'd like to make your own list, I'd be more than happy to tag you, meme style. ;)

Until,

D :)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Way You Wait

Hi All,
I am elbow deep in editing photos right now and just not much is going through my head other than photoshop techniques.

But I have been feeling nostalgic lately, what with the holidays coming up and all, and so I have been surfing around during my breaks and came across an old friend of mine. I once had the absolute honor of singing with this man on a few occasions, and as I will tell you about later, they were some of the best times of my life.

But, before I get all into that, I thought you might want to hear some of his work. Ladies and Gents, may I introduce to you Mr. David Shepherd Grossman.

The Way You Wait


Darkness (from an appearance on the local Fox station in Phoenix, AZ)


Silent Eye


Oh how I miss those days...
Until,
D :)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Race Car Driver

The weekend...

As soon as Hubby got home from work on Friday, I left for the big D (little a, double l, a, s). Normally when I leave Kiddo with Hubby, I kind of sneak out or leave when he is preoccupied with something else. This time however, we decided I should tell Kiddo that Mommy was going on a trip and would be back in a couple of days.

I'm not sure when the screaming stopped, but I was most definitely out of the city limits by that time...

When I got to the downtown area, I was immersed in the tangle of highways and interchanges and I happened to look down and notice that my "check engine" light was flashing at me. I called Hubby on the cell and jokingly asked what it meant to have that light flash at you.

"Get off the road!! Get off the road and pull over NOW!!" was the reply.

Um, well, let me look to my left; three lanes of solid cars moving at about 60mph. Let me look to my right; concrete. Yeeee-ahhhh.

So I am still talking to him and we are discussing what could be the problem and he asks me what happened when I pulled over.

I was still on the freeway.

There was no way for me to get off anywhere at that moment. I was stuck between concrete and cars and there was no way pulling over was even an option. I began to shake; fearing that the car would just stop by itself and I would come rolling to a halt, only to be creamed by some distracted driver. I was in a panic, and I think Hubby was too somewhat. Finally, after getting on to another freeway I found an exit that went down to surface streets.

I pulled over into the parking lot of an abandoned building and shut down the car. Hubby told me to look in the car manual and see if it said anything about the check engine light. I opened the glove box to a stash of napkins, paper and various condiments...

So after rapid internet research on Hubby's end, he determined that I could turn on the car again; I did and everything seemed ok. The light was on but steady and the car was running fine. With Hubby still on the phone, he used a satellite image on Google Maps to guide me back to the freeway. Gotta love technology!

I made it to my friend's house after a misguided tour of the neighborhood, and was greeted warmly by my friend and her hubby. After some great conversation, we went over the plan for the next day and retired to bed. I couldn't wait to spend the day with my friends and my camera.

Until,
D :)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Leave the Lights On

Here I am, third night in a row posting at almost midnight.

Well, I have had a wonderful weekend! I went to Dallas to visit with some friends and do a couple of photo shoots and all in all it was a nice getaway. Kiddo and Hubby had a bit of a boy's weekend; they hung out together and on Saturday night they actually had a weenie roast and camped out in a tent in the back yard.

I truly enjoyed my time away. I was finally able to meet my friend's absolutely gorgeous twins and for a little while it was nice to not be "the mommy".

But I have to say, seeing my Kiddo's face when I got home was such an awesome sight. He had just woken up and was so sweet and cute for all of about 5 minutes when he suddenly passed out again in my lap. Apparently, boy's weekends are pretty tiring!

So, once I collect my thoughts I will post more about the goings on of the past few days, and hopefully will be able to share some pictures as well.

Until,
D :)

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Under the Wire

Hope I get this in before midnight...

I don't really have much to say. I had an exhausting day today filled with lots of fun stuff - but I can't really talk about it right now. I realize I am not winning any new readers with these sub-par posts lately, but once things settle down for a day or two I'll try to get back to writing more interesting stuff.

In baby news, the little one has decided to move his residence from the bottom of my pelvis to higher ground under my rib cage. All evening this evening I have been tortured by him rolling upwards and squishing vital organs out of their comfy homes. His kicks, that were very low this morning, are now protruding through my mid section. I don't know where he thinks he is going, but he is making his mommy extremely uncomfortable! The biggest problem is he can't decide which place he likes better so he rolls up and then down; and then up, and then back down. Mercy!

So I am going to bed now because it is way past my bedtime and I have had a long day. Tomorrow may be challenging as well, so say a little prayer for me, please? I am having potential car issues once again and am not in a good spot for something like that to happen.

Much love to you all.
Until,
D :)

Friday, November 09, 2007

Highway Man

An open letter to the guy on the freeway...

Dear Sir (or Madam),
Did you not see the gigantic 18-wheeler in front of me tonight? Did you not notice that we were in heavy traffic? Did you not realize that riding my tail for over an hour wasn't going to get me to move any faster, nor was it going to get me out of your way because we were surrounded by cars and concrete?? Sir, I beg of you - in the future, please do not torture your fellow driver so by driving mere inches from their back bumpers! You are in a taller vehicle; did you not realize that your headlights practically blinded me for over 60 miles?

I understand that you are the center of the universe and your obligations of getting home so you can guzzle beer in front of your wide screen far outweigh the safety of me and my unborn child, but could you, for one moment perhaps, think of that poor trucker? He's been up for 48 hours straight and is high on speed - give the man some room!

I hope that you made it to your destination in time. I hope that you made it there safely. I feel for the next person that gets trapped in front of you.

Thoughtfully yours,
D :)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Yo

It's been a long day. I had a really fun photo shoot this morning and have been editing all afternoon. I have to have these images done for her in a very short amount of time and so I am working nonstop for the next few days.

Hopefully I will have something more to tell you tomorrow, but if you are curious, I am about to post a sneak peek on from the shoot today on my photography blog.

Check it out!
Until,
D :)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

My favorite all time Holiday album. I know, it's probably too early for most of you, but I pulled it out today and added it to my mp3 player play list. Next I am going to find The King:
This one, this one, Or this one.
But they may be hard to find.

I really wish I had this...

although the original recording had a bunch more songs on it. We had it on 8-track when I was a little girl. (does that date me a little??) My first car had an 8-track player too.... YIKES!


Some new ones I would love to own: this one

or this one,

because I bet they are spectacular!

But the thing about putting holiday cds on my xmas list, is that by the time I get them, it will be too late to listen to them! Oh, the irony.

What to do....what to do...

Lookit this! The best of both worlds! Jewel sings Elvis!

It may be a Merry Christmas after all! ;)

Until,

D :)

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

See Sassy

I hate shopping for maternity clothes.

Seriously. It is the most ridiculous thing in the world. They are ugly, they don't ever fit right, and frankly, why on earth would I want to spend so much money on something I am only going to be able to wear for about 6 months?? It's insanity.

But, unfortunately, I need them. There isn't much more doctoring I can do with my regular clothes that doesn't leave me looking like a hillbilly with a rope belt. No offense to hillbillies or anything, just not the look I'm going for.

I was finally able to get all of my maternity clothes back from my friend in Houston, and sadly opened the container only to find that almost every shirt in there was either a tank top or was sleeveless.

Oh, yeah, I was pregnant in the summer last time. Doh!

So.....I guess I need to acquire something with a bit more warmth if I plan to go out of the house this winter. drat.

So I've been looking, and looking and though I have found a couple of things I might like, I refuse, refuse to spend over $30 on a shirt for crying out loud. I did however spend $32 on an absolutely fabulous pair of maternity jeans yesterday. It about killed me.

As most of you know I am a tall girl. 6' to be exact. And though that may not seem terribly tall by today's standards, if you knew the length of my inseam your eyes would open far to wide. So, finding jeans is a feat in of itself, but maternity jeans...next to impossible. However, I stumbled into Old Navy the other day and noticed they had low rise maternity jeans (this means the waist goes under the belly - woo hoo! No big, stupid, rolling down all the time panel!) AND they came in long lengths! *angels singing "Hallelujah!!, Hallelujah!!"* I was a bit discouraged though in that they were sized S, M, L - but thankfully the Small size fit me perfectly! So I spent the money. I will now be living in these jeans until March. Sorry if that offends you.

My experience at Old Navy with the girl running the dressing room left little to be desired, and if that wasn't the only Old Navy that sold maternity in town I would never return. But that is a story not worth telling.

Thankfully, the thing about maternity clothes is that most women are kind enough to share their wardrobes, and pass them around from preggo to preggo. And, consignment shops are a great place to find gently used maternity as well. I just haven't had the funds to spare for clothing at the moment so mismatched and awkward I go; dressing for comfort and coverage, rather than dressing to be the "cute pregnant lady".

Of course I guess that's not far from my daily, non-pregnant attire too...

Until,
D :)

Monday, November 05, 2007

I Shall Be Released

So I guess you may be wondering why I am so excited that it is November. Well, there are lots of reasons.

1) Supposedly this is the month all my Medicaid stuff kicks in - that is, I will officially be on a "plan" and hopefully I can go to my old OB and then to a referred, desperately needed specialist. I am excited that this baby might finally get the care he needs.

2) I am busy. I know it sounds strange, but I have at least 4 photo shoots booked to happen in the next 2 weeks and I am going to be swamped!! But, it is totally a good thing and I am looking forward to it.

3) 2 of the aforementioned photo shoots are taking place in Dallas. I am so excited to have a chance to get away (without the Hubby or the Kiddo) for a couple of days. Even though I will be working, it is basically my one and only chance to get any kind of break since the Kiddo was born; and it is the one and only chance for a break that I will get for a long time. Because, let's be honest, once baby #2 gets here my life will not be my own anymore. What very little "me time" I have now will be non-existent. I won't get breaks, I won't get sleep, and I certainly won't get to do anything without another little being strapped to me for quite some time. I NEED this getaway to Dallas. I deserve some time alone.

4) November is the start of the "holiday season" for me!! I love everything about this time of year. I can't wait to pull out my holiday music cds and sing my little heart out. It does make me a bit sad in that I am reminded that I am not involved in any sort of choir, but I can get over it. I know a lot of people don't like looking at and being bombarded with all the Christmas stuff before Black Friday - but I say bring it on!!! (just not before November 1st, ok? Santa should never be placed along side the Grim Reaper - that's all I'm sayin' about that.) Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without the decorations and family and food and I think all of that ties in with Christmas too. You can't have on without the other. As a matter of fact, I dreamt I was singing Christmas music last night. It is time!

5) Of course I have to say I am excited about November because of NaBloPoMo! I love participating, making new friends and discovering fabulous new blog reads.

There is more, but the Kiddo is yanking on my leg and typing has become difficult. Besides, if I write too much now, I won't have anything for tomorrow, right?!?

What are you thankful for this month? What gets you excited? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Until,
D :)

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Marital Carnival

DOH!

The third day of NaBloPoMo and I missed posting. Ack! Sorry about that.

Well, if it is any consolation, I was out most of the day working on my marriage.

Whoa! Back up the truck! Working on your marriage?? you say?? Yes. Don't jump to any conclusions here, Hubby and I just attended a marriage conference hosted by our church. It was truly wonderful. And, though no pregnant woman should commit to sitting in any chair for for 5 hours at a stretch, I would have to say my hip pain today was totally worth it.

The conference, taught by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his lovely wife, Sarah, was called Love and Respect. It is a teaching based on the biblical verse, Ephesians 5:33. Husbands must love their wives and wives must respect their husbands.

The basis of the conference is the differences between men and women and in how they communicate. I know, you've heard it before, but I highly encourage you to check out the website and the clips from the conference if you have some time.

Now, after two days of this conference, Hubby and I did not leave with earth shattering, life altering information that "blew our minds". Actually, it was quite the shocker that a lot of what was said was logical facts that we already kind of knew - but it helped to reinforce some of the things we've been doing right and it emphasized some of the things that we may have found insignificant. I guess, for me, it kind of cleared the cobwebs. Anyway, I guess i need some time to marinate on it all a bit before trying to have a discussion. But suffice it to say that it was good money and time spent.

In the midst of all this, Kiddo got to have some good quality time with G&H, and even spent the night with them out at their property. When we picked him up on Saturday afternoon he was worn out and cranky. He had actually put himself down for a nap!

Today we all went to church together. It is always such a blessing to be able to worship with family. The service was great and lunch after was so nice too (despite the bee that kept invading our table!)

What a great start to November!
Until,
D :)

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