Thank U

Happy Monday Everyone!
I hope those of you with the day off are enjoying the time, and those of you who had to work (sorry Hubby!) are having a slow, peaceful day.

We had a busy day here today. With a birthday party to attend at 2PM, I had to put Port down for an early nap. He was not a happy camper about it, but he still managed to sleep for a full 2 1/2 hours before I woke him so we could go. He probably would have slept 3 if we weren't going to be late. Poor little guy, I don't think he's getting enough sleep.

So today is Gratitude Monday and honestly, I don't have any one person on my mind. Sure, I could pick someone and write about them on the fly, but I would much rather be motivated by emotion and real, in the moment gratitude than do something forced. Thank you to those who participated, I have enjoyed reading your outpouring of love for your friends.

I am just grateful for so much right now! I am involved in a bunch of new endeavors and exciting projects. I am motivated and working hard on my business, and I really feel like things are headed in the right direction.

And even if they are not, I still feel really good about things right now.

God has blessed me in so many ways. I am looking forward to what He has in store this year.

So, I guess, in lieu of a traditional Gratitude Monday post where I talk about one person, this is a post about...

well, everyone.

I am grateful to God for all He has given me. I have nothing without Him.

I am grateful to my family and my friends who are loving and supportive.

I am grateful to my clients who are supporting me in more ways than one.

I am grateful to my church family, who show me love and encouragement and inspiration just by being there and doing what they do.

I am grateful for the opportunities that have fallen into my lap. I can't wait to share them with you.

I am grateful for days like the last few I have had that show me that it is ok to be happy, and hopeful, and excited.

I am grateful for the readers of this blog and all my supporters here, on facebook and in daily life that encourage me to do more and do better.

I pray that I can be all that you think I can be, and feel confident enough in my abilities that I never lose courage and hope for the future.

Because right now, I am encouraged, hopeful, excited and ready for the challenges ahead.

And I don't want that feeling to end any time soon.

Encourage and show your gratitude for someone or something today. It is a freeing, wonderful thing to do.

Until,
D :)

From the Inside Out

A new to me song heard in church this morning; I can't get it out of my head...



I don't often listen to Christian music (or any music really these days) unless something just stands out and reaches me in church or on the radio. This morning our praise team performed this song and, though I have never heard it before, it touched me instantly. By divine grace I instantly new the melody and the words roll off my tongue as if they had been there waiting for years. It was a moving experience; one that prompted me to get out a pen and write down the lyrics. It is rare that a song will do that to me, though I am tremendously touched when it does. I welcome any opportunity to feel closer to God, and this song took me there this morning.

Not surprising, this next song is one of my current favorites too. I just discovered they are by the same group/church/Hillsong. Looks like a new CD may be in my future...



Oh how that moves me! Praise God! I love the part toward the end when everything goes up and the bass starts in with the boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom, etc. It makes me want to raise my hands in the air!

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. I am feeling better finally from the cold I had and will be back to blogging soon.

Check back tomorrow for Gratitude Monday, the revival. lol!

Until,
D :)

Ok, one more of my favorites!! AHHHH Yes!

One

Happy Friday everyone!

It's a good thing we are having virtual coffee because I am sick. yuck. The boys have been sick since last weekend and I got it Monday. The only one left unscathed so far is the Hubby, though he mentioned today he thought he might have a sore throat. We shall see where this leads.

Anyway, we are freezing here in Texas. I am not a cold weather kind of girl. I do not function well in temperatures below about 60 degrees. So I have been sick and oh so cold and I am not happy about it.

Aren't you glad you stopped by? ;-)

So Kiddo (5 yrs) and I are butting heads. He is completely and totally into the new video games he got for Christmas. I have always been pretty lax about how much he plays - usually after a few days of playing non stop he will get tired of it and put it down for a week or so. Then he'll fall into a regular pattern of only playing every other day or so.

This time he wants to play non stop; which I understand when there are cool new games to play. The problem is that now, little Port wants to play sometimes too (he sits next to Kiddo with an unplugged controller and watches the action) and the only thing Port wants to play (or watch) is Cars.

He's a bit Cars obsessed right now.

And, unfortunately, when Port has his little heart set on something, if he doesn't get his way he pitches a rip-roarin' fit.

And poor Mommy's head really hurts. So we just can't have that.

Soooo, the long and short of it is that the xbox causes a bunch of controversy in our house right now. And when Port starts getting upset about the selection, I just opt to turn the whole thing off.

Which, of course, makes me the meanest mommy in the world to Kiddo.

And Kiddo has started whining to us (Hubby and I) whenever we make him stop playing that we are "taking away something that he loves". (say that in your head with a pitiful, whiny voice about 10,000 times and tell me you are not going insane!)

And another downside to my already dramatic son playing a bunch of video games is sometimes he gets stuck in that fantasy world. He doesn't always separate fantasy from reality well anyway, and right now it is particularly bad.

So today I made him turn the game off when it was time for breakfast which upset him as usual, and then after breakfast I wouldn't let him turn it back on. I told him we needed to turn off the tv for a while and play with some of the other toys. Kiddo gave me attitude about it so I sent him to his room. As usual, Port followed him in there and within a few minutes they were playing together. Several minutes later I hear Kiddo scream at Port, Port whined and Kiddo started yelling at him some more. I went in to see what was going on and Kiddo proceeded to tell me that the baby was robbing him and trying to steal his stuff.

I had just about had enough. This has been going on for days. And the kicker was that the baby wasn't even anywhere near him!

I put him in time out and told him that he needed to stop living in his fantasy world and that this was his real life. And in real life he is to treat his brother kindly and respectfully and that yelling at him like he did was never acceptable. I talked to him about it a bit more, reminding him that his real life included me and Hubby and Port and that we were a family and we needed to be nice to each other. And I told him that he had a good life and that we worked hard to make sure he had a nice home and toys to play with and lots of things to do....

After a long silence Kiddo turned to me and said,

"My life is TERRIBLE! And you took away the one thing that I looooove!!! It was the only thing that made me happy!" (i.e. the video games)

{well give the boy an Oscar!}

"The video games are the one thing that you love?" I asked.
"Yes!" he said.
"And nothing else that you have makes you happy?"
"No, and you took them away and now I have NOTHING!" he replied.

I looked around his overflowing room and the stacks of toys and books and clothes and junk.

And I told him that if he really felt that way, I would pack up all his toys and everything else in the room and send it all off to kids that would appreciate them. I stood up and walked out of his room to find some boxes.

He chased after me and promptly declared that he was only kidding.

*sigh*

The teen years are going to be TOUGH!

Hope your weekend is wonderful. Stay warm!

Until,
D :)

Sick and Tired

I just love this picture - took it about a week ago when Port climbed up into Kiddo's lap for a snuggle. Sweetest thing ever! And, hilariously funny since Port is almost as big as Kiddo now! And I promise, his clothes do match sometimes, apparently just not when I pull out the camera...


*cough* *hack* *snort*

Excuse me.

Here in the Fry household, 3 out of 4 are seriously sick this week. Hubby so far has been spared, but the kids and I have it bad. Real bad.

Kiddo actually is tolerating this illness relatively well. He has a nasty, phlegmy cough and lots of snot, but aside from that, and other than fever one day, has been relatively symptom free. Port and I are not so lucky. Port has had the worst of it. He's been running a fever for 4 days now, and every time it spikes I contemplate taking him to the emergency care. It makes him so lethargic; this bug, whatever it is, is kicking his little baby booty.

A dose of ibuprofen though usually will perk him up some in about 30 minutes flat.

But, he hasn't eaten much in the 4 days; he'll eat all the candy and junk he can tolerate as long as it's soft and/or cold, but he won't eat much of anything solid or remotely healthy. After not eating for a whole day, he decided that gummy bears and his toothpaste (yes, you read that right) were the most delicious things on earth. I can sometimes get him to eat a bite or 2 of mac and cheese or oatmeal. He'll drink the drinkable yogurt sometimes - actually he asks for it a lot, but usually only drinks a couple of swallows before abandoning it. His fluid intake is not up to my liking either, and I have switched to disposable diapers this week so I can tell a little better if he is peeing enough. When he coughs, it's so violent that he can't catch his breath and half the time ends up gagging him. Thankfully that is rare, but it still scares the crap out of me.

I am alternating giving him benadryl and ibuprofen or tylenol and he has some good moments throughout the day, but most of the time all he wants to do is sit with me with his head on my shoulder. He's not sleeping well at night, but most of the time I don't hear him because I am so comatose myself.

I came down with it yesterday. It was inevitable I guess; both boys have been coughing and hacking on me for days now. My shoulders and hands have been covered in snot and more than once someone has sneezed in my face.

It's really hard to be a good mom when you feel like dog poo.

I've been yelling more than I ever care too, and my timely hormones are making my temper short and my tone sarcastic.

The past few days I have been a real....well, you can guess I'm sure.

My body is weak, my mind is mush and all I can do is sit here and wait it out. It is bitter cold out and I don't want to go anywhere.

I am praying that Port's version of this cold doesn't turn into something more sinister; his cough has me worried he might have bronchitis, and that freaks me out because we really can't afford another doctor's visit and prescription meds. Last month's double ear infections set us back $80, once again leaving us short for the month.

And every time I am {} this close to taking him to the doctor, he jumps up and runs laps around the house then proceeds to tell everyone he can knock-knock jokes for an hour.

You think I am kidding about the knock-knock jokes?


By the time I got a hold of the camera, he was beyond the silly stage and wasn't finishing the jokes (probably because of Hubby's over the top responses). But it is still super cute. (and his cackle is infectious!) Now he runs around the house yelling "dlock-dlock!! dlock-dlock!!" just waiting for someone to take him up on the joke.

So anyway, yup, that is where we are this week.

In other news, the Musing Mommies (that's me and Kim!) are putting up an organizational challenge of the day (on our Facebook page - go FAN us so you can join in the fun!), just to get us moving and working on our homes. Each day we post something new; and so far it's been mostly cleaning stuff - but the idea is that if you actually get up and do the challenge, it may push you to do more. If you clean off that counter top of all the mail stacks, it may promote you to file some things away....maybe....we hope!

One of my goals is to get things more organized and cleaned up this year. I am not making any huge demands on myself, because the disappointment when/if I fail is just too much for me right now. So I am keeping things slow and steady, trying to get our lives back in some sort of order.

I suppose it would help if I took down the Christmas tree...

Until,
D :)

These Small Hours

Hi there Company Girls and Beloved Regulars! I trust you had a great holiday season. Are you glad it's over? I kind of am. I never really did hit that high point in Holiday Spirit. I think things were just too busy or something. I am ready to get back to normal; to be able to go to the Walmart return desk and not have to wait an hour and a half...to go to Target and actually see what is tagged on the shelf, on the shelf. I am ready to go to the post office without having to...well I guess the post office never really changes, huh?;)

Come on in, as always I have fresh coffee in the pot. I still have a good stash of peppermint mocha creamer too if you are so inclined. And yesterday I made fresh oatmeal scotchies. Don't mess with the fudge I made though - it didn't turn out any good. I need to work on my fudge making skills. I see a candy thermometer in my future. ;-)

I am so incredibly tired. Both the boys have a nasty cold, and Kiddo was up all night because of it. I am afraid tonight will be Port's turn. He has had a really bad day so far. I think I will most likely end up on the couch with him at some point in the night. Between the fever and the nasty, phlegm-y cough, he isn't going to get much sleep. At least I can give Kiddo OTC meds to help him rest well. Poor Port doesn't have that option.

My last post about my recurring dream sparked some interesting discussion. I don't know why we have recurring dreams; I however think it may have something to do with unfinished business or something we are trying to reconcile/decide upon. For almost 15 years I had the same dream weekly about a guy I went to high school with. Our parting of ways in our early college years was abrupt and I guess for all those years I had some sort of internal issue with it. At least once a week I would dream that I was walking through the halls (usually of our high school, but sometimes college) and he would be walking with a group of people 5-10 feet away. In every dream I would call out to him and he would never acknowledge me. Or he would look my way, give me a knowing look and then act like he didn't see me. I would yell and scream and call his name but he never responded.

About 6 months ago I reconnected with him on facebook, and the dreams went away.

It's funny how that happens.

Anyway, so maybe my dream had something to do with the fact that I never finished my graduate degree, or maybe it has to do with my strong desire to participate in a photography workshop or classes.

Who knows.

On facebook, a couple of my friends commented that I was indeed an important member of my college choir. It's funny, because I never really felt that way. To me, it felt as if I was just another nice voice in the mix; that no one would miss me if I wasn't there. But I guess some people thought I was important (well, 2 people anyway. lol). And that brings me all back to what I have talked about here before; the fact that we as a society don't let others know how we feel about them. What a difference it would have made to me in my college career if someone had just once said, "you are an important part of this group". {Gratitude Monday my friends! Participate with me!}

Seriously! I know it sounds simple, and that is the point. We as humans need to know how we are perceived; we need to know how people think of and feel about us.

My husband's grandfather, every time he saw us, always said, "I am so glad you got to see me!" ;-) But, in that joke, I know it was his way of saying he was glad we were there. And it always made me feel loved and wanted.

I was discussing with Hubby the other night - if we all spoke to each other the same way the characters in tv drama shows did, it would be incredible how different life would be. Imagine being able to discuss anything with anyone. Imagine not having to sensor yourself or bite your tongue. Imagine if you could tell someone how you felt, without having to worry about the recipient bottling up their feelings as well.

Of course, that world might be a little scary. lol

But I think there really is room for improvement in this area. I think we need to be more honest and forthcoming with each other. I think we need to show our "people" how we feel about them while they are here - not just in a nice eulogy after they are gone. What good is that anyway?

So yes, it was quite the thought provoking post for me.

In other news, today is New Year's Day! A new year, a new decade, a new everything it seems.

New Years has always been a perplexing concept for me. I just don't get it. It doesn't work in my thinking.

What I mean by that is - everyone goes on and on about things being new and fresh and making change, and then a month from now everyone is back to the same old routine. And they can never figure out why it works out that way.

Well here is the thing. New Year's Day is just another day of the week. It is the same old grind; of course nothing changes! Now, if every year at New Years we had a full week where everything shut down and people were able to take some time to get things in order, maybe things would be different. Why we place so much expectation on one little day on the calendar is beyond me. Do we have more time in that day? No. Do we have less responsibility in that day, freeing up the existing time for us? Usually not. How do we expect to fit it all in, start anew and fresh and organized if there is no extra time involved to get those things in order? We can't figure it out the rest of the year, what makes January 1st so special?

I am speaking strictly from my own experience, so if you have an answer for me I would love to hear it.

And I usually try to avoid resolutions. They just don't work for me and the frustration and disappointment I face each year after once again failing is just too much trouble for me now. I haven't made a resolution in years - at least not a serious one. This year, I would like to be more organized, but golly I have no clue how to go about it. I suppose getting off the computer once in a while might free up some time...

Anyway...just something to think about I guess.

How can I reorganize my life, while living that same life I lived yesterday? There just aren't enough hours...

Until,
D :)