Apparently I am an idiot.
I can't believe that when I filled out the special needs portion of the teacher request form for Kiddos kinder class, I totally forgot about his hyperacusis. What is wrong with me??? Perhaps I am the one with special needs.
I am so mad at myself.
Did I ever mention here that in Sunday school, they now give Kiddo a set of headphones during the music/worship time? I guess he was still freaking out a lot when it got really loud, and so now they let him wear headphones and he stays calmer.
My poor boy.
I don't know if I should call the school or just wait until I have to go back up there in August to turn in the medical forms or what. This is just so overwhelming. Hopefully I can get him evaluated by the school and they can do something to help him. Eventually he is going to realize that his "different" is not something the other kids will admire. Eventually he is going to be made fun of. Eventually someone is going to break his heart. I know it would happen anyway, problems or not, I just wish it was for the normal things, not these uncontrollable things he has to deal with. He can't help that his ears are different. He can't help that he is allergic to peanuts.
If we ever have to get him braces - Lord have mercy.
I am still having ups and downs with this whole school thing. I can't even picture it without getting teary, and the whole thing just scares me to death. I've come to realize that what I am the most scared of is the peanut allergy.
I am not afraid of him gaining independence, I am not afraid of him being away from me in the normal sense; he does all that at Sunday school and I love that he loves it so much. But that is a pretty controlled environment where I am only 30 seconds away if something happens.
I am afraid he will come into contact with peanuts and have a reaction and no one will know how to help him. I am afraid he will be scared and hurting and needing me and I will be unaware that anything is happening. I am afraid that some kid won't understand the consequences of what could happen and shove a peanut butter sandwich in his face just to be funny or mean. I am afraid a child will have some on their hands or clothes and he will come in contact with it. I am afraid a child will lie to him about it and he will believe them and eat some and not realize what it is until it's too late.
I am afraid.
I know that he can overcome the limitations of the hyperacusis. He can cope. But the peanut allergy - the stuff is everywhere and he is so trusting that others won't give him something with peanuts. I tell him all the time to never ever take food from another kid without asking me first if he can have it, and yet he still does it. He will just ask the kid if it has peanuts, and if they say no he will eat it. What happens if someone tries to give him a butterfinger? reeces pieces? a nutter butter? There are so many things that a child wouldn't think has peanuts (or peanut butter) in them. What if they have a cookie that was made in the same place as a peanut butter cookie? It could be contaminated.
I may just make myself crazy thinking about all of this. How do other parents cope? I don't want to hide him in the house forever. I just don't fully trust the outside world to look out for him; or for him to look out for himself. And if you get on any forum or place where people are talking about peanut bans in schools and readers can leave comments - just spending about 5 minutes reading the "opinions" is enough to make me want to withdraw his registration right now. I never thought so many people could be so cold and uncaring about a helpless child.
I may need therapy before long.