Saturday, November 26, 2011

Spell | NaBloPoMo day 26

Here we are almost all the way through the month - I can't believe I have made it this far. And it really was relatively easy, mainly because for once, I didn't really think too hard about what to blog about. Now of course, that makes for a lot of "this is what I did today" sort of boring posts, but very few of you all still read my little blog anymore so I guess I don't have to strive too much for literary greatness in every post...

not that I ever did that in the first place. anywho.....

I have to say I am pretty proud of myself this week. I actually let. something. go.  Haha! I didn't think I was capable. And it may only be temporary, but for now it feels pretty good. For the past couple of years I have been on this bizarre, mid-life crisis truth quest, and while it's been liberating and exhilarating, at the same time it has caused me a lot of stress and strife. It is a struggle to live like this, seeking truth from everything and everyone, when everything and everyone else doesn't function that way.  There just isn't a lot of truth in this world. We have all been lied to and have lied about so many things for so long that the lies have become the truth. So often I find myself not knowing what to believe anymore.

So this week I was faced with deciding to stick up for what I know to be the truth, or to let it go and just let people believe what they want to and tell themselves whatever it takes to feel ok. It is hard. It is not something I like doing these days. I have very little tolerance for it right now, but after hashing it out over and over for a few days I just decided it's not worth it. So for now, I have let it go. And I hope that the effort it took to do that is worth the headache it caused me (and a couple of close friends - sorry!).  It really just boils down to the fact that I have too much crazy in my own head to have to try to tame someone else's.

So anyway, now Thanksgiving is over we plow head first into the landslide to Christmas. And suddenly my totally open calendar is filled with meetings and get togethers and baking and crafting (cuz there will sadly be no buying this year) and photography sessions and seeing old friends, meeting new babies and supporting friends and family during transition. But isn't that life all the time? Why does it suddenly seem like everything is crammed into 4 short weeks?

I love this song - it's one of those I get lost in in the midst of the chaos that is constantly in my head. I can totally relate to the lyrics, and I miss those moments being on stage and having people in my spell, if only for a moment. I wish it were so easy to capture someone's attention. There are a couple of people I would absolutely love to be able to "have" for just few minutes, just to say the things I need to say.

Until,
D :)



Spotlight shining brightly 
on my face 
I can't see a thing 
and yet I feel you looking my way 

Empty stage 
With nothing but this girl 
Who's singing this simple melody 
And wearing her heart on her sleeve 

And right now 
I have you 
For a moment I can tell I've got you 
Cause your lips don't move 
And something is happening 
Cause your eyes tell me the truth 
I've put a spell over you 

Beauty emanates from every 
word that you say 
And captured the deepest thoughts 
in the purest and simplest of ways 
But you see 
I'm not that graceful 
Like you 
Nor am I as eloquent 
But just a simple melody 
Can change the way that you see me 

And right now 
I have you 
For a moment I can tell I've got you 
Cause your lips don't move 
And something is happening 
Cause your eyes tell me the truth 
I've put a spell over you 

And all my life I've stumbled 
But up here i am just perfect 
Perfect as I'll ever be 

I have you 
For a moment I can tell I've got you 
Cause your lips don't move 
And something is happening 
Cause your eyes tell me the truth 
I've put a spell over you

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