Random thoughts...gonna let the crazy hang out a little. lol Forgive me, it happens when I am tired...
Ever feel like you are waiting on something, and you know it's important, but you really have NO IDEA what it is, or what to look for? And you know you will know it when it happens, but yet, you don't know what it is going to be?
I am waiting, waiting, waiting. And I don't know why. Whatever it is I am waiting for, when I think about it (of course, in a general sense), my heart aches, my head pounds and my my eyes feel that fullness that comes just before I cry. Like if whatever it was happened, it would be such a relief and a release and a joy, and it would be scary and life altering and...REAL. And I long for it; I try to will it to happen - ridiculous, really.
I can't seem to move on past the waiting, the holding pattern, the holding my breath every time I turn a corner. My dreams are getting more and more strange. I am dreaming of people I don't ever dream about, places I had long forgotten, and of worlds that don't exist. Perhaps that is normal for some people, but my dreams, for the most part, have pattern and some predictability. With the exception of every now and then, I usually dream of the same people and places. But lately, man, they have become really strange.
I am just too much in my head right now I guess.