Well, I do think about having another baby, but not because Kiddo told me it was going to happen.
Tonight as we were driving to Houston, out of the blue (and after a very long stretch of silence from him; man, it must have been like a whole 30 seconds..) Kiddo says,
"Mommy you have a baby in your belly."
[I almost drove off the road]
"Yes, and it is a girl. I can tell because your belly is growin'."
[thanks a lot Kid.]
Just for the record, my belly is doing anything BUT growing, considering I lot 6 pounds this week, so there. :P
But this whole baby thing is really starting to bug me. It's no secret that I was really hoping Port was a girl. I really want to have a girl - for many reasons, and there are times now (becoming more frequent) that I think about that little girl and I once again mourn for her.
In church last Sunday, we were standing during the music portion. All the lights were down, the praise team was rockin' it, and I was caught up in the music.
Usually during that portion of the service, I am totally focused on the stage and the people in front of me. I don't often see my husband standing next to me - often because I am emotional and trying not to draw attention to the fact that I am crying.
But for a split second this past Sunday, out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband. And in his arms was a little baby girl with dark brown hair and green eyes.
And it took my breath away.
Of course, there was no baby girl. It was a figment of my imagination. A vision perhaps. A dream.
But for a moment she was there, and she was real and she was beautiful.
And it took all my strength to stand there and pretend to sing through the tears.