Green Eyed Girl

Ok, so remember a couple of weeks ago I mentioned what Kiddo said to me about having a baby sister?? Well since that conversation he hasn't mentioned it again. I figured it was just a passing thing and haven't really thought much about it.

Well, I do think about having another baby, but not because Kiddo told me it was going to happen.

Anyway...

Tonight as we were driving to Houston, out of the blue (and after a very long stretch of silence from him; man, it must have been like a whole 30 seconds..) Kiddo says,

"Mommy you have a baby in your belly."

[I almost drove off the road]

I do?

"Yes, and it is a girl. I can tell because your belly is growin'."

[thanks a lot Kid.]

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Just for the record, my belly is doing anything BUT growing, considering I lot 6 pounds this week, so there. :P

But this whole baby thing is really starting to bug me. It's no secret that I was really hoping Port was a girl. I really want to have a girl - for many reasons, and there are times now (becoming more frequent) that I think about that little girl and I once again mourn for her.

In church last Sunday, we were standing during the music portion. All the lights were down, the praise team was rockin' it, and I was caught up in the music.

Usually during that portion of the service, I am totally focused on the stage and the people in front of me. I don't often see my husband standing next to me - often because I am emotional and trying not to draw attention to the fact that I am crying.

But for a split second this past Sunday, out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband. And in his arms was a little baby girl with dark brown hair and green eyes.

And it took my breath away.

Of course, there was no baby girl. It was a figment of my imagination. A vision perhaps. A dream.

But for a moment she was there, and she was real and she was beautiful.

And it took all my strength to stand there and pretend to sing through the tears.

Until,
D