Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Through Wind, Rocks, Traffic and Idiots...

Well, the opening of IKEA was! Let me just say I will not be attending opening day of ANYTHING for quite a while. The place was a total madhouse! That many people should not be allowed in/on the store/parking lot/roads leading to the store at one time. On a normal day, the drive should take me about 15 minutes. Today, I drove 10 minutes then stopped still on the road for 30+ minutes sitting in traffic. Once I got to the freeway (IKEA is right next to it) it took another 20 minutes to get across the over pass and into the parking lot. Needless to say, Kiddo was NOT happy. :( We finally get on the grounds and are directed to a parking area (overflow) that seriously required a vehicle with off road capability to access. They dumped what looked like a couple of truck loads of rocks in the entry drive that were, at the smallest, 8 inches in diameter and everything else was crushed, gritty rock. (ok, everyone hold up your hands and make a circle that you think is 8 inches in diameter - yup. Wanna drive your Mercedes over that?) Thankfully I was in the Trooper so it was no big deal for us; but I saw plenty that should have been directed elsewhere. Anyway, turns out today we have a front coming in that is giving us wonderful 20-30 mph winds. Joy. Every walked through a gravel/dirt parking lot with winds kicking it at 30 mph?

We stagger our way in to a sea of shopping carts and kids and parents and stupid people and completely oblivious folk and I suddenly feel like I am at a Wal-Mart expo - but we shove our way through and start the twisted walk through the show rooms. Poor Kiddo is stuck at ground level in his umbrella stroller; the darn thing is giving my 6 foot frame a run for it's money as I have to bend over to reach the ridiculously low handles. People of course are shoving and "politely" bumping me in the back side; I guess thinking that if they bump me I'll go faster, and others are trying to cut in front of me and several practically step on poor Kiddo because he is so under the radar screen. Several times I had to thrust my hand out into some stranger's gut because they were about to step on my baby. Half way through we picked up a regular size shopping cart for Kiddo so he could stop fearing for his life!

An hour later we emerge from the circus that is the display area and I pick up an item in self serve and head for the check out. Holy Moly! It's yet another sea of bodies, all fighting for a "lane" and switching around thinking one is moving faster than the other; some got halfway through only to discover they had parked themselves in the self check out and had no way of scanning the four ton box that the sales associate has mistakenly placed upside down in their flatbed trolley. Kids are screaming, mine included; labeled the "true victims" by the nice lady in front of us. Lots of people were giving each other the "my God, could this take any longer" look and some people abandoned their carts all together and just left the store - it was chaos. We stood in line for about 45 minutes I guess. You know, you get to the point where you think, "I've come this far, sat in traffic for so long, stood in line for so long, fought the crowds, there's no way I'm leaving now" but man I wanted to leave. Kiddo was inconsolable. I tried everything; even pulled out my trusty M&M Minis and they only held him for about 5 minutes. Finally I picked him up out of the cart just in time for him to relieve himself and I guess I was mashing the diaper just right because it ran all down his leg. Ugh. This was NOT what he or I needed. So he goes back into the cart (standing up in the back so not to make a mess - the leak really wasn't that bad) which really ticked him off; and by that time I had made it to the cashier. We paid for our items and made haste out the door, weaving through all the poor souls trying to get their items loaded into SUVs backed up to the store. About halfway down the walkway it occurs to me that I have to figure out a way to carry my son, his stroller, my purse, a diaper bag, 2 shopping bags and a box that literally weighs 40 lbs back to the car in hurricane force winds over the 4 wheel drive parking lot. The shopping cart certainly wasn't leaving the pavement, especially because in order to get it to go forward I had to push it at a 45 degree angle (brand new and already jacked up! Go figure) and the wind and flying debris was only fueling the crying and sobbing of my so sad two year old. So I strapped him into the stroller, hung the bags on the handles (I know, bad, bad mommy), tucked the 40 lb monstrosity under my arm the best I could and abandoned the cart. Saying the prayer of "please God get us to the car in one piece", I ventured forth into the driving wind.

We made it. Barely. And now my fingers and hip are bruised, my back is killing me, I ended up yelling at poor Kiddo out of frustration when we finally got in the car and we almost got blown off the road a dozen times on the way home.

But - I got some cool stuff at IKEA! :) :) Maybe tomorrow I'll think it was worth it....



karrie said...

It should settle down after the holidays.

One opened here just outside of Boston last year, and the first few months were *insane*. It was not worth even trying to go, as the highway AND alternate roads leading in were backed up for miles and police were turning people back.

Now it's pretty busy on weekends,but reasonably sane most other times.

I need to go soon and buy more lingonberries and coffee!

Anonymous said...

All i can do is laugh, but I know it was not funny at the time. I hope today is a better day for you and you appreciate what you got at IKEA. We do not have one here but if we ever get one I will remember not to go on opening day!

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