Would You Go With Me

Ok, so back to the subject of birthing. Aren't you excited we are still talking about this?? ;)

Thank you to those that recommended the HypnoBirthing book. I actually had the book and tapes sitting in my office because my sweet neighbor passed them on to me when she moved. I never thought to even look at them, but after you guys reminded me about them the other day I pulled them out.

HALLELUJIA!!

The answer I've been looking for!

This may sound strange, but the philosophy just makes sense to me. I mean, I sit there and read and my head is screaming "yes, yes, YES!" This is what my heart has been trying to tell my head all this time!!!"

I know, I'm strange. My head talks to itself. Doesn't yours?

Anyway, I am pouring through the book and getting all excited. While reading, I could see myself having Kiddo all over again. And in all honesty, the time that I labored without the epidural was not painful. The only reason I got the epi was because the doctor told me they were going to break my water and start pitocin and all the negative, scary things my friends had told me about those two things got me scared. (the theory behind the Natural Birth experience is Fear=Tension=Pain. Without fear there is no tension and without tension there is no pain. Up until that point in my first labor, I had no fear of what my body was doing. There was no pain because I knew that God had designed all those organs and muscles to work the way they should. I didn't fight what was happening because I knew it was the perfect design.) They did the epi before I ever felt any pain; actually the epi was what really hurt - but I think I could have gone the last 3 cm without it. But I have said that before.

So, I am going to give this HypnoBirthing thing a shot. And as long as there are no complications with this birth, I have confidence I can do this without any drugs. How wonderful that will be!

I still wanted to throw out an idea or two about what I was hoping I could do before I go into labor though. Several of my friends have expressed interest in throwing me a shower for this baby. And though it is a wonderful, lovely, sweet gesture, there really isn't much we need for him; especially not things I would expect my friends to buy for me. Anyone want to shell out $250 for a breast pump?? Yeah, I didn't think so. ;) Anyway, a while back (like a year ago or so) I stumbled upon a wonderful blog called Oh The Joys. You will see her linked in my sidebar. Anyway, when Ms OTJ was preggo with her second baby her wonderful Hubby put together a little soiree for her and the baby. And it turned out to be one of the most meaningful things he could have done. He organized a Blessingway.

If you are not familiar with a Blessingway, initial research may make you tilt your head, wrinkle up your nose and say "huh?". But if you dig deeper, you will find that it a wonderful way to celebrate an upcoming birth and put some focused energy into the mother by giving her the strength and support she needs to get through the event of labor. Generally a Blessingway is a gathering of the mother's close women companions (this is not really the kind of thing Aunt Shirley would want to go to - no doilies or finger sandwiches will be present) and they come together to celebrate life and their support of the mom to be. Often the women will perform what I like to call "comfort rituals" by brushing and styling the mother's hair, or washing her feet (though, in my case no one is getting near my feet! lol!). Generally lights are low, music is soft and the women sit together sharing stories of how their relationship with the mom has influenced and enhanced their lives. They create things to represent blessings wished for the mom and the baby. It can be all out New Agey or just really mainstream and meaningful.

I really like the concept of Blessingways as opposed to a traditional baby shower, especially for second, third, etc. children. Because a lot of people find a shower for subsequent babies tacky, it is a nice way to still support and uplift the mother, while celebrating the new life growing in side her.

I would love to have a Blessingway. My vision of what I would like of course would not include circle time and ritualistic chants, but rather a gathering of important women in my life and a few choice tasks. One such task common in a traditional Blessingway is the making of a beaded necklace or bracelet. Each guest brings a hand selected bead that they want to represent a wish or blessing for the mother and child, and at the Blessingway each person speaks their wish to the mother and the bead is then strung to make the necklace. The mother can then hold or wear the necklace while in labor, as a reminder of all those thinking and praying for her at that time. Another activity involves looping a cord or string around the wrist of each person in attendance, signifying the joining of all together. After well wishes/prayers/blessings are given, the cord is then cut and each person wears their loop until the baby is born. I like that everyone would have a reminder of the event to happen and a symbol of their support on their wrist. Another activity involves writing blessings or well wishes on paper for the baby book or for the mother to read at the time of labor.

I have come to the realization that I am uplifted by just the mere knowledge that people are thinking of and/or praying for me. After all, that thought is what drives this blog. I live for comments and page hits - I'll admit that I thrive on attention. And I think that in my quest to have a good labor experience and focus my mind on the blessings that God has given me in my friends, family and in this new life, the Blessingway would be another source of strength to draw from. I think having a tangible symbol of the support of my girlfriends (like the necklace), many who have had their own labor experiences, would help me stay focused.

And, though I don't know if I would actually do this (although it does sound really appealing), Ms OTJ got her belly "tattooed" by a Mendhi artist, which resulted what I think is the coolest looking pregnant belly EVER! Check out her pictures at the bottom of the post - AWESOME! :)

So, as a friend, family member, or just random blog reader - would you come to such an event? Would you find it hokey or meaningful? Do you think it is a good way to celebrate a new baby, without all the traditional gift exchange and silly party games? I would love to know your thoughts.

*hint, hint* the comments link is right down below.... ;)

Until,
D :)