Jewel, Spice and Things Not So Nice

I forgot to post yesterday. oops! This writing every day thing is hard. And what's weird is I think of things to talk about several times a day but when I sit down at the computer to write; all those great ideas hide some where in the folds of my feeble brain. Ahh well, maybe I can just sit with you quietly for a while. You'll tell me about your life and I'll quietly sip my Dr. Pepper. What do you think?

I broke down and put in the xmas CD. I just love Jewel. I know she's not really up there on the "cool" list, but I sing (I think) almost exactly like her and she inspires me to sing the way I am supposed to - full voiced and wall shaking awesome! It is a rare thing to hear; not much out there can inspire me so.

I made my monthly PMS treat a bit early this month. I have been craving something with pumpkin and spice cake; and happened upon a recipe for such a creature in the last Kraft Food Mag. I couldn't put it off any longer and made the cake last night. It is so yummy and moist - I just polished off a piece! Yesterday was a horrible cooking day for me though. I never have claimed to be a chef or anything, but I think I know my way around a kitchen. Yesterday was just one of those days; the moon was full or some planet was in align with something it shouldn't have been - I don't know. I made the cake, put it in the oven and started dinner. We had chili and cornbread. I made the cornbread the same way I always do, put it in the same pan I always do, popped it in the oven the same way I always do and it promptly boiled over and spilled out all over the bottom of the oven. There was no way to effectively clean up the mess while the oven was on so I had to just put a pan in there to catch the rest of the drippings and enjoy the aroma of burnt cornbread as it infused itself into everything in the house (including my cake!). Then later on I went to frost/ice the cake with a cream cheese/sugar/coolwhip type frosting and I could not for the life of me get the dang cream cheese to blend. It was totally lumpy and I eventually gave up and just put it on the cake anyway (and before you ask, yes, it was room temperature; as was the cool whip). Oh well, it all tastes good so I guess it's ok. The poor cornbread came out flat and uncooked on the bottom though (I assume because of the drip catching pan).

I have been thinking a lot lately about friends and things that happened long ago - it is amazing how seemingly simple happenings can impact your life. People change you. You never know how an encounter with someone, be it 2 seconds or 20 years, will mold you; shape you into the person you see in the mirror.

I have about decided I am completely anti-social in person. I am great on line, email, IMing, whatever. I am relaxed and open in these "anonymous" venues; and I love them and hang out frequently. I am in person, however, very, painfully shy and practically mute - with the exception of when I am working; be it photographing people or event planning or whatnot. For some reason I don't have too much trouble talking with someone when I am working. It is a strange phenomenon. Today I took Kiddo to the park to meet up with one of the mom's groups I am in. We have a nice group of ladies. I am pretty sure I could be friends with just about any of them, but for some reason those meet ups are painfully awkward for me. I don't know what it is. Sometimes Kiddo is very embarrassing. If he is the least bit tired or hungry he will pitch the biggest fit when he doesn't get his way. He also is in love with anything with fur or feathers and today I was constantly turning him away from the little creek that ran through the park. He only wanted to jump in the water with the ducks and geese, so what was the big deal anyway? ;) Anyway, I spent the entire time pretty much miserable because I was chasing Kiddo everywhere and I really just wanted to sit and talk to someone. But, because I don't get to go to many functions no one really knows me and so no one wanted to approach me. I know in those situations I should make the first move, and sometimes I try, but it is difficult when I know full well I may have to run off after Kiddo at any moment. I am thinking I should just drop out of the group - but honestly, it is about the only way I can motivate myself to take poor little Kiddo out of the house once a week and do something other than run errands. He LOVES going to the park and pitches a holy fit every time I scoop him up to leave. Today was no exception. He started wailing as soon as I picked him up and grabbed his bag. He wailed all the way to the car, fought me when I tried to fasten his car seat, screamed all the way to the grocery store, was actually ok in the store but started wailing again as we were leaving because he saw a Mater truck toy he wanted, wailed all through the parking lot and into the car again, and screamed for 5 minutes in the car until he passed out cold, sound asleep. Poor guy. And a weird thing that happened - when I was loading the bags in the car and Kiddo was sitting in the cart screaming, this complete stranger walks up to me and says "I am just waiting here for my kid, but do you think your son would like a sucker?" >:-O Are you kidding me?!?! He was having a fit - he wasn't hurt or upset, and so what if he was; did she really think I would try to placate him by giving him candy?!? And better yet, take it from a total stranger leaning up against her crappy car in the "mother-with-child" parking of a grocery store while she is smoking a cigarette and blaring her stupid music out of the rolled down windows and popped trunk? Seriously!

Shew! It felt good to get that out. :) My goodness I have written a novel today. Maybe I should stop now.
Until,
D ;)