This Time

Anyway, so where I was trying to go with the last post was far, far from where it ended up. I was going to talk about music in relation to the birth of this child! lol! So much for a focused mind!!


Ok, so I have been thinking about the birth a lot lately. Typical, oh mercy I am in the home stretch thoughts - you know the drill. When I was pg with Kiddo, my plan was to make a cd of my favorite tunes and have them playing during labor. Unfortunately, I did most of my laboring in the middle of the night and everyone, including me, was sleeping! So, no time for tunes then. In the morning, everything was so chaotic and messed up that I didn't even think about music, much less anything else except getting Kiddo out safely. And in that I missed out on that part of the birth plan.



I am hoping this time I have some time to "labor" in peace. And I would like to be able to listen to my mp3 player or play some tunes in the room to relax me. I was thinking today in church how nice it would be if they recorded the worship music and made it available for download from the church website. I don't think they do - but I will certainly check. I wish there was a way to get recordings of my favorite tunes they sing without having to be covert in recording it. Any ideas?



And in thinking about the birth, I am considering once again trying for a drug free delivery. I wanted that with Kiddo, but with all the chaos and interventions, I frankly just got scared and opted for the epidural. Now don't get me wrong - that epidural was, without a doubt, WONDERFUL, but I wish I had had a better resolve and tried to deliver without it. I got to 7 centimeters dilated without it, and the only reason I decided to get it was because they decided to break my waters and it scared me. I think I could have handled it. I would have liked to try.



So I am back to thinking I can do this. Women do it every day without medication. And honestly, I think that there is only one thing that could mess that up, aside from there being a complication, and that thing is the memory of Kiddo's birth experience. Even now when I imagine this upcoming birth, I slip into the past and start remembering having Kiddo and I instantly tense up and get emotional.



If I do decide to try for natural child birth, I need a coping mechanism to get me through the fear of something going wrong like it did with Kiddo. And in my thoughts on this, my mind keeps directing me to my faith. I need to be able to focus on God and I need to be reminded that it is all in His hands and that worrying does nothing. I need to be able to give my worries to Him and know that there are lots of people praying for and thinking of me while I am in labor, and I need to use that knowledge to keep me focused on the task at hand. Because I know I can overcome the pain, it is the fear and worry that will sink me.



And in my thinking, I feel that the music from church can help me accomplish all of that. A couple of other things can help me with that too - and that will be the subject of my next post.



Until,

D :)