Thursday, January 04, 2007

16 Going On 17

Ok, this may not make any sense. I am trying to write this as Kiddo is chasing our poor puppy around our house with a kiddy lawn mower - as usual, laughing hysterically each time the dog runs in the kitchen, snatches a mouthful of food and then runs off chewing and choking, gagging down the food she is desperately trying to eat. Hubby is in the living room (right next to the kitchen and dining - where I am) blaring The O.C. on the TV in a last ditch effort to watch the last episodes of the series (sniff - we shall miss thy ridiculousness, O.C.).

I have been trying, trying to collect my thoughts for days. There is a good post in my head somewhere, but for some reason my brain has been little more than a glop of mush, squishing around between my ears. I have, in reality, developed some sort of lung thing - sorry; no other way to describe it than that. There is mucus, coughing - it's not pretty. You'd think I had smoked 3 packs a day for a few years; it even burns when I cough. And the strange thing is, I don't feel bad in any other way. Yes, my back is hurting, but that comes with every growth spurt Kiddo has, and we just went through one recently. Yes, I am tired, but who isn't?

So here I sit, trying desperately to spew forth the inner most musings of my soul, and frankly I just don't have it in me. I promise I will try to find some quiet time soon to reflect and emote and do whatever it is I do, but I didn't want you all to think I had fallen off the planet. I know when my regular blog haunts don't post in a while, I have to say a quick prayer everything is all right.

Today I finally took down the Christmas tree and various holiday decor, but only after taking Kiddo to the neighbors house for a weekly play-date. She just got hard wood floors and they look so nice. It really makes me want to do something with our house - just to spruce it up a bit. I should probably wait until Kiddo is out of the destruction phase before I think about replacing the floors. So what am I looking at here, 15-18 years?? ;)

What with all the light pulling and organizing and cleaning out the decoration boxes; and finally getting rid of the ornaments and stuff that we never put out - I am really, really tired. So, since I look like Heck-Warmed-Over I shall give you my self portrait from today. I am reflecting back on days of yore when I looked a whole heck-of-a-lot better.

In case you were wondering, I was 16 in this photo. That was a LONG time ago.


D :)


kat said...

Dawn, have you told a doctor about this? I ask because one of the many manifestations of Lupus is "lung trouble".

Dawn said...

Thanks Kat - I actually developed a fever last night and it looks like Kiddo has it too - so I am thinking we just picked up something somewhere. Unfortunately, even if I wanted to speak to a doc I can't because I no longer have health insurance. :(

karrie said...

I hope you feel better soon Dawn. Not having insurance really sucks.Are there any other options for care where you live? I remember all too well ending up in the ER--and getting a nasty bill--when I tried to avoid doctors when I was uninsured.

Carrie said...

I hope you are much better! We've all had something off and on here for 6 weeks.
And someone who knew you when you were 16, you are no less beautiful now than you were then :)

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