Do You Want to Play?

Well, this morning I manged to get up more than an hour before Kiddo today. He is still asleep and I am already through my second cup of coffee. I am not sure of what to do with myself! He should be up soon though because I heard him talking in his sleep a minute ago.

So yesterday I thought of a terrific story to tell. Boy, it was going to blow your socks off! Unfortunately, as quickly as I thought of it, I forgot it. Sorry. I think I was in between loads of laundry when the idea came to me. And you know how laundry just sucks the brains out of you. Oh well.

According to the weather report the temps reached 87 degrees here yesterday. Holy moly! That's hot for February - even in Texas. My neighbor came out front with her kids and we sat out in the yard while the kids played for a while. It is nice to hang out with her. Her kiddos are cute and they play well with my Kiddo, even though he's a year or two younger than them.

Kiddo enjoyed riding on their play horse.

He galloped all over the yard, watching his shadow on the neighbor's brick wall. I do not know where he learned how to ride the horse - he's never seen a kid do that and the neighbor's kids don't ride it that way either. It is amazing to me how he instinctively knows things like that.

When we are out front, the NKs (neighbor's kids) always seem to have some sort of drink in a can, and of course Kiddo wants one too. Thankfully I have some lemonade I can give him, since I refuse to give him soda. I have to pour out over half of the drink though. One, because I don't want him drinking that much and two because if there is much in the can he ends up wearing it! But he loves drinking out of a can; I think he feels like a big kid when he does it.

Every time we go out there though, it is such a headache for me because as soon as the NKs go home Kiddo throws a fit. He LOVES playing with them and when we go inside he cries and acts out for sometimes up to an hour. I have the hardest time getting him to calm down afterward.

Ah well. It's the price I pay for some adult interaction I guess.

Until,

D :)

Words Get in the Way

Something someone Googled and found my blog:

"When I hold my breath, I think the guy on TV will make the shot. I don't like any food with raisins it it,"

huh?

I'm still not sure how they found me; I've gone 30 pages into the Google and still have not come up with my link.

Interesting.
D :)

Memoirs of a Housewife 2

A quick, on the side note. You may or may not have noticed, but I title most of my blog posts with song titles. Most of them are Jewel songs, or songs Jewel has performed. I have a bookmarked page that is basically a list of all of Jewel's songs and when I finish a post I often scan that page for a title.

Memoirs of a Housewife is a little song Jewel wrote but one that she doesn't perform (as far as I know). It is an interesting little poetic piece. I thought I would share the lyrics with you here.

Memoirs Of A Housewife
by Jewel Kilcher
I have a secret obsession
It's totally Tupperware
My own science project
Defying wear and tear
I'm jealous of shopping carts
And all of their brand new things
I want to fondle their labels
In hopes one'll rub off on me
'Cause everybody wants to feel brand new
Like they do
I spend my days indoors
Doing like ding-dongs do
Perfectly preserving
Myself for you
I take things out of their boxes
Take out my note pad and pen
Study carefully with childlike fascination
'Cause everybody wants to feel brand new
Like they do
So tell me you want me
Tell me you need me
Tell me I'll always be desirable
Especially to you
Make me feel brand new
Attractive!
Brand spanking clean
And desirable as homecoming queen
But if I were to bet
All of the french fries in the world
That you would say such things
I would surely be one very hungry girl
I approach china cautiously
If there's cracks I deny it
I ingest only perfect things
Into my visual diet
And at night I undress myself
In front of your favorite things
Your brand new hand-tied blue bass fishing lure
And in the corner your money clip sings
Everybody wants to feel brand new
Everybody wants to feel brand new
Like they do
As they do
I do too

Though I don't identify with all of it, a great deal speaks to me. If you would like to hear a very poor quality recording of the song, go here.

Until,
D

Memoirs of a Housewife

Every morning when I get up I turn on the computer and fix myself a cup of coffee. First I check email, then log onto Babycenter and check my birth board. Once I am caught up on threads I go to Statcounter and check out how many people stopped by several of my blogs the day before. Then I come to this blog and start checking out my favorite reads one by one. It's funny because sometimes I get irritated if a particular favorite doesn't have anything new. I don't post on my blog every day, why should I be annoyed by someone else who does the same thing?

I love how The Pioneer Woman posts every day. Where does she find the time? How does she think of her material? I realized today that the blogs I read that post relatively often not only share current events, but also tell stories from the past.

The past. Whoa. Heavy.

I'm not sure I want the world to know my past. Not that it's bad or anything, but it is, after all, past. And I am not sure any of it would be interesting to anyone. Once a blog gets regular readership, there forms a sort of pressure to be interesting every time you post. Many bloggers feel the need/pressure to be funny or thought-provoking or interesting in some way. It is tough. And once that pressure is applied, the sensors start to emerge. I can't talk about that, it is not very funny. Did Kiddo do anything funny today? Nope. Well, I guess I won't blog then. Well, I can't post about that because so-and-so reads and they will be hurt. And I can't talk about this person because so-and-so's mother's best friend's niece's hairdresser reads and it might get back to so-and-so. Then there is the pressure of being a "good writer". Several people comment on your writing style and how great it is and then something in your head starts pressuring you to have a perfect post. What is that anyway? I have never claimed to be a good writer - I know my grammar is atrocious. I just write the way I think. Sometimes it is intelligent, sometimes it is mush.

But the thing is; if I get irritated when my favorite reads don't post, then I should expect my regular readers to feel the same way about me, right? Maybe not everyone cares that much, but I just love perusing a blog's latest entry over my 2 daily cups of coffee. And if not many people have posted, then I am forced to surf other sites to fill the time. My day then will not be quite as bright. ;)

So I am going to try to post more. Maybe I will tell some stories. I just need to find a good way to present them, you know, so they are interesting.



This may not be interesting to most, but I'll share anyway. Kiddo has found a new favorite lounging/napping place.

Yup. That's my fireplace. I put that blanket there to cushion any sudden falls, and it has now become Kiddo's comfy cozy resting place. He napped for 3 hours up there the other day. And before you ask, yes, he tossed and turned and shifted all around and no, he never fell off.

Well, I should go make some lunch now. I just wanted you all to know I am going to try to post more often. The pressure is really getting to me. :)

Until,

D

Near You Always

My Dear Baby Boy,

In just a few days you will be exactly 2 1/2 years old. I figure I should document your life a little bit, since you are changing so fast and I am afraid I might someday forget some things. First of all, you are amazing. Truly. Every day you find a new way to shock, amaze, startle, surprise and astound me with your amazing little mind and glorious sense of humor. Not a day goes by that I don't laugh. Not a day goes by that you somehow make me tear up or cry; either happy or sad tears. I cannot believe the past couple of years have gone by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday we were only dreaming of the child you were to be.

At this stage in your life, your interests change on a weekly, and sometimes daily basis. Right now you are into so much. You have an amazing sense of adventure (just like Daddy), but at the same time are as always extremely cautious (just like Mommy). Watching you on the play ground is interesting. You follow the other kids around and try to do exactly what they do, but when it comes to dare-devil stunts, you are calculated and precise in your movements. You take no risks, but manage to figure out how to do almost everything they do. You are a mimicker. You repeat everything your target says, and even mock their body language and gestures. Yesterday when we were outside talking to Mrs. S., you sat in the little chair next to her and held your hand up to your face to block the sun, just as she was, and you repeated everything she said word for word.

You like to mimic Mommy too sometimes. If we are going shopping you will often pick up a small bag and put a few toys and various items in it for the trip. This makes Daddy nervous because he thinks you think it is a purse, but honestly I think you just need a way to carry your belongings. You also love taking pictures and get very upset if I don't let you see the pictures I take on the camera screen.

You LOVE glasses. You've already broken a pair of Mommy's sunglasses, and wear my "good" ones frequently. Sometimes I think you really might need them, because you wear them so well and enjoy looking through the lenses. You are so cool in your shades, and when you wore them in the grocery store the other day, people came up to me and made comments more than they have in a long time. A little old lady stopped us in the parking lot to tell me how handsome you are and a single middle aged man even commented at your cuteness.

Another fascination right now is "shiny pennies". You carry them with you everywhere. I am thankful you don't have the same affection for quarters! If someone were to scan our back yard with a metal detector, they would most likely come away a few dollars richer. I find shiny pennies everywhere, and you bring them to me to see whenever you find one.

You are also so sweet about picking flowers for Mommy. Almost every day I receive a Dandelion or two from you. I have to smell them before you are satisfied and your pickings often decorate my workspace near the laptop. I love it when you bring me flowers. Don't ever stop doing that, ok? Oh, and also, for some reason I have become not just "Mommy", but rather "Mommy Mommy" and sometimes even "Mommy Mommy Mommy". It gets exhausting to hear you address me, but at the same time I love it.

As far as characters and shows go, I think we may be transitioning out of our Little Einsteins phase; you are watching other things like Cars and The Incredibles again. You even request your Baby Einstein DVDs every now and then. Mommy thanks you for the variety. You still love your Incredible shirts, and most of the clothing you choose to wear has Lightning McQueen, Nemo or Incredibles on it.

You are sleeping much better now. Most of the time you don't take naps, but that's ok with me as long as you sleep well at night. Our biggest struggle is keeping you dry, and often that leaking is what wakes you in the night and messes up our precious sleep. You almost always wake in a good mood; in the mornings you pad down the hallway to my room and crawl into bed for a nice cuddle to wake me up. I love waking up that way - you always smell so good and are so warm and soft. In your sweet little voice you will talk about nonsense things or ask me to get up, and it is the cutest thing ever. You still love to play with my hair, and I am grateful for those moments. I know they won't last much longer.

You absolutely love the dog. You love the cat too, but she is not a buddy like Tyler is. You greet her every morning and get excited about checking out the back yard first thing. You will wrap your little arms around her and say "Ty-wer, I wuv it." :) You will chase her around the back yard for hours. I think she loves you just as much, but hasn't quite figured it out yet. You still love to chase her around the house with your little toy lawn mower, and she will run into the kitchen and grab a mouth full of food and take off running every time. It's such a funny game you play. The cat adores you, and spends most of the day sleeping under your bed, but she doesn't really like how you pull her tail and try to lay on top of her. Hopefully soon you will figure out how cool she is if you treat her nice.

I think one of your favorite things to do is hang out with Daddy in the garage. You are fascinated with hammers and screwdrivers and flashlights. When Daddy is working on the motorcycle or the car or just piddling in the garage, you want to be right there under foot, working along side him.

Verbally, you are getting so much better. It is so funny to hear the things you say when they are your own thoughts, not just something you repeat. You are now starting to request things, instead of just stating what you want. "Mommy Mommy, pway twains? Mommy Mommy, walk dis way! Mommy Mommy Mommy, get up, walk dis way to my woom!" Oh my, you could not get any sweeter. You also sing songs, both real ones and made up songs, and you still love to dance. You are so smart and know all your numbers and colors and most of your letters. You have started pointing out letters to me in all kinds of places; making me so proud to be your mom.

Of course we do have our struggles, after all you are two, but overall I think you are a good natured, amazing little kid. I thank God every day for bringing you into my life and I love being your Mommy better than anything I've ever done. Every day I look forward to our experiences together. You have changed my life in more ways than I ever could have imagined. The reality is so much sweeter than the dream.

I love you,

Mommy

Break Me

Is your house visitor ready? I mean, if someone were to show up, out of the blue, would you be able to let them in without dying of embarrassment? I guess I am talking more to the parents here. Let's face it, if I can walk from one end of the house to another without tripping over a toy or stuffed animal, then it means my Kiddo is on vacation somewhere without me!

Yesterday I was doing some laundry and in the master bedroom hanging up a load of shirts. I heard a motorcycle drive up in what I thought was my driveway. Normally that would not be unusual, but Hubby was still at work and it didn't sound like his bike. My imagination being what it is, I began thinking about just who would be cruzin' on two wheels to see me. There are a couple of people, but it would be highly unlikely that they'd come see me after all these years - even though it would be fairly easy to find me.

Suddenly I began to see my house with new eyes; the eyes of a visitor. It is a rare thing for me to see things this way - I spend day in and day out in my house and after a while my "sight" sort of glosses over things. Now I was seeing all the toys on the floor; and not just what was in the walking path, but the odds and ends under the chairs and behind the bookcase and stuffed in places they shouldn't be. I saw the basket of laundry on the chair in the living room and the shoes that are EVERYWHERE. I saw the dust and the little strands of string on the carpet, the unswept floors and crooked pictures on the walls. I realized then that if someone were to unexpectedly show up at my door I would have to be really weird and not invite them in! I just couldn't, I wouldn't let someone see it this way.

Every couple of weeks or so, my inlaws come out for a visit. Whenever they do, I spend the entire day, mad-fast cleaning. I straighten and scrub (and hide) and pick up and vacuum and mop and throw out trash more in one day than I sometimes do in a month. And even though the house still wouldn't be white-glove clean, it is presentable enough that I am only slightly embarrassed when they get here.

I told my Hubby the other night that once a week he should tell me they are coming, just so I get the house picked up. His response was that it wouldn't work because eventually I would think he was "crying Wolf" and not clean at all. He's probably right.

But I have been trying to pick up once a day even though it may not look like it by the time Hubby comes home from work. I've dusted twice this week already, even though it doesn't look like it.

Hopefully I can get into some sort of routine or something. Maybe one day my neighbor will actually be invited in the house.

On a totally unrelated note, Kiddo just went to bed with a 102.6 degree fever. Poor guy. The last thing he said before drifting off to sleep - "Mommy. Cowboy." umm, ok. I wonder what that meant.

Sleep well my son. I hope you feel better in the morning.

Until,

D

Behind the Wall

Well, it looks like Hubby will have a new project this weekend. He is going to do something about our fence. It is time.

This morning Kiddo was out in our back yard, playing as usual, and I noticed his little squeals and giggles sounded really far away. It's not terribly alarming, as we have a pretty big back yard, and it kind of wraps around the back of the house and extends out to the right. We also have a separate yard area within it's own fence on the side of our house. So the giggles were faint and the dog collar jingling sounded really far away as well, so I went out to investigate. Kiddo and the dog were no where to be found. I called and the dog came running, but because of the layout of the yard I couldn't see where from. I thought maybe Kiddo had pushed the gate to the side yard open, so I walked back there to get him. He wasn't there.

There are moments in everyone's life where something happens, or you think something has happened, and your heart drops. You look around and what you see resembles that dizzying TV camera trick where the camera does a complete 360 around the actor, and the viewer gets a full scale view - it adds drama you know. Kiddo was not in the back yard. I spun around in TV fashion and took another look at everything, instantly thinking the worst - he got out and is running down the street.

See, when Kiddo gets out in front of our house, and he feels like there really isn't anyone paying attention, he will often bolt down the driveway and right down the street. Thankfully, we live on a sort of "L" shaped culdesac, thankfully it is not heavily traffic-ed, but the intersecting street is not to far away and definitely more of a thoroughfare. I didn't know how long he had been out. I could still hear his giggles, so he was near, but there was no telling which way he was going or who/what was with him.

And then, I saw it. The neighbor's dog was in my back yard. It had come through a one-slat-wide hole in the fence. The neighbors just moved in about a month ago and they actually have two dogs; this little terrier mix that is now in my yard and some gigantic, deep barking beast that I have never seen. They keep The Beast in the garage at night and it's barks are quite scary. Of course, being a Pit Bull owner, I know barks can be deceiving, but I was worried nonetheless. Pressing my face up to the dividing fence, I see Kiddo in their back yard.

Thank God.

Sort of.

See, he was back there with The Beast. And their rotten back fence to yet another neighbor's yard, and goodness only knows what else. And he was barefoot and wearing only a pajama top and a diaper. And I couldn't reach him. And the neighbors were not home. And since they moved in,

they

put

a

lock

on

their

gate!

Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, even though The Beast was twice Kiddo's size, he was just as big of a baby. Sweet, sweet dog. Thankfully. Thankfully the little dog was just as sweet. Thankfully I was able to get my dog back in the house. But I couldn't get to my Kiddo. It's such a helpless feeling. I could see him and talk to him, but I couldn't get him to come back over to the fence, much less crawl back through that tiny, rusty-nail lined hole. I asked, I begged, I yelled, I offered ice cream and chocolate candy - nothing worked.

So, I went in the house and got a hammer. That rotten, nasty fence was coming down.

Surprisingly, the hammer was what enticed Kiddo back to the fence. Apparently hammers are better than chocolate right now, so as soon as I began ripping off boards, Kiddo walked up to where I was. The tricky part was keeping The Beast in his own yard. Big baby and lover-boy that he was, he kept trying to push through and come see me. So I stood there, knees bent toward the fence in a blocking position to hold back The Beast (all the while trying to be gentle because I don't want to make The Beast mad - you just never know) and tried to get Kiddo close enough to grab an arm so I could pick him up and weave him through the cross boards of the fence and bring him back to me.

One pulled out back and a couple of scratches later, my babe is in my arms! :)

Screaming and kicking.

Oh well, at least I have him now. He was entertained by nailing the boards back to the rotten fence, but soon enough was whining about going to play with the puppy dogs and trying to yank the boards off again.

Thankfully once he realized he wasn't getting back over there, he dropped it. I'm sure I'll be yelling at him about it again soon though.

But at least he won't be getting back through that tiny hole.

How did he do that anyway?!?
Until,
D :)

Little Wing Part 4 Finale

Ok, after what appears to be an atrocious layover in Houston, you are about to start your 4th and final flight for his trip. At only 30 minutes long, the flight will be shorter than your drive home from the airport! :) It appears the flight has been delayed, so here is some more music to help you pass the time... and appropriate too as it is titled "Mexico"!

I really hope flight tracker is wrong and you are not still sitting at the airport. That would suck. I have even checked a couple of other sites and they have no report of departure either. Nope; just updated and the flight left 35 minutes late. Bummer. I bet the Kiddos are going to be asleep when you get home. Won't they be surprised to find you home when they wake up!

Here you are, half way home!

and a little further...

Ok, looks like you arrived at 12:05, safe and sound. I hope you've enjoyed your flight tracking experience! Good night!

Until,

D :)

Little Wing Part 3

Alright Ms. K, you are on the 1st flight home. I think you have already departed, but my flight tracker won't pick up the flight until you are over the US. So, I hope you are seated comfortably next to your Hubby, sipping a relaxing beverage and thinking about how big the smiles on your kiddo's faces will be when you get home. I know you are afraid they didn't miss you, but I guarantee they did. I hear them every time you are on the phone with me and you walk in the door - they will be ecstatic to see you after being separated for a week.

So, since I can't post a flight path shot yet, here is some music to pass the time.



And a perfect tune from a chick flick we saw together, Elizabethtown.



Well, according to tracker, your flight arrived 41 minutes ago. I will track the next one as well. Hope the flight was nice and smooth!
Until,
D :)

And They Call It Puppy Love

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I know, I am a bit late, huh? Well did you all have a good day or what? Our day was, well, umm, interesting I guess. Kiddo has yet another cold - I guess I should be more diligent about washing hands after visiting petri dishes - er, um playgrounds. He started with a belly ache and the sniffles Monday night and by Tuesday it was fountain nose and fever. Joy. To make things that much more interesting, by yesterday my throat and head were chiming in on the fun as well.

So last night our original plan was to let Kiddo play over at the neighbors house (she so graciously offered - how did we ever get so lucky to move next door to such wonderful people?) and Mommy and Daddy were going to have a nice night in, alone. (say it with me now - *sigh*) The theme of the evening ended up having to do with cream cheese. I'm not sure how that happened, but I made a cream cheese and sausage dip to start (so yummy! You should ask me for the recipe, really), some of the sushi we had for dinner had cream cheese and I had baked a cheesecake.

A little side note here - when planning to prepare a dish from a recipe you've never used before, make sure to actually READ the recipe, all the way through, to make sure you know what you are getting into. I got a recipe from a magazine and though it was fairly simple, I didn't really read it well. Part of it involved making the crust (crushing the graham crackers, etc.) and I thought I'd save myself some time and buy a ready-made crust. Great idea, right? I prepared the filling and dumped it in the crust only to find that there was about two times the amount of filling needed to fill the crust (and I even got the big one!). After reading the recipe I realized it was for a 13x9 baking pan, not a round pie crust. Doh!

Anyway...

Kiddo was clingy all day, but didn't seem to be running a fever anymore so I thought we were in the clear. About an hour before I was to take him over I checked his temp and it was 101. Drat. So much for the evening. Hubby and I thought we could still salvage things though because Kiddo hadn't had a nap and we thought (so foolishly) for sure he would go down for the night early. I gave him some meds just before 7 and we sat back and waited.

and waited.

and waited.

By 8:00 Hubby was doubting my ability to read measurements on the medicine bottle. I assured him I gave proper dosage, but it seemed that instead of the normal "calming" effects the medicine has, it ramped up to severely annoying proportions my snotty, clingy, whiny child.

After several tries and lots of tears (on both our parts) we were able to get Kiddo asleep around 9. About an hour and a half later, Kiddo was crying. The crying lead itself to screaming and then flailing and then sleep, then 2 minutes later the process would start all over again. By 1AM I gave in and turned on the TV to his requested "Bear" DVD. Let me just say that if you think a video is annoying during the day, never, ever agree to watch it at 1 in the morning with a cranky, sick toddler. Not fun my friends, not fun. We watched the video until I could take it no longer at 2:30 and shut it off, praying he would stay asleep on my chest. No such luck.

I got up to get more medicine, managed to properly fill the dropper and then promptly squirted sticky, grape flavored madness all over my kitchen floor and refrigerator when I reached in for a sippy of milk. It was dark, Kiddo was screaming and so I left it there until a few hours later when I slithered out from beneath the finally sleeping beast. By the time I finally crawled into bed for some real sleep, Hubby was getting up to go to work.

It's a wonder I even function. Thank God for COFFEE. :)

But on a good note, I have this to keep me company. :)

And these, the result of my recipe blunder...

You know you want some.... :)

Until,

D :)

What Child is This

Kiddo is easily impressionable these days. As I'm sure I've stated before, he parrots everything we say. He is also pretty good at mimicking movements and expressions, and when on a playground with other children he instantly becomes a mirror image of whatever child happens to fall within his gaze. Every so often, he still pretends he's Dash from the Incredibles, or as of late, a hybrid of sorts he calls Super Kiddo. With arms raised in the air, he shouts "Super Kiddooo" and runs about the house at blazing fast speeds! ;) Although, while making super circles around my house, he does stop in the kitchen a time or two to check himself out in the reflection of the stove or dishwasher. He also likes to be Leo or Quincy from The Little Einsteins; picking up his pretend baton or trumpet and conducting or playing the instrument to his own little modified tune.


It disturbs me sometimes when we are around other children, because of course the behaviors he mimics are the ones I would rather him not do; be it throwing rocks at other kids or tossing himself off of moving playground equipment. But at home I can pretty much rely on positive influences developing his personality, as Hubby and I are pretty laid back, upright, normal sort of people. Sometimes though, I have to wonder...

And before you ask, no, Hubby doesn't run around nekkid with just a motorcycle helmet on, but I guess Kiddo thought the helmet with the gloves made for a complete outfit!

Hubby just had to get in on the helmet action...

Even more disturbing - Kiddo loves to imitate another member of our family...

I don't know if you can see it, but Kiddo has a bowl of dry cereal on the floor and is eating the same way the dog is. Ack! He has also been known to bark at Hubby when he comes home from work. Hmmm, maybe we should get out more!

Until,

D :)

Little Wing Part 2

Ok, you made it to H-town safely, and our brief chat on the phone assured me you were ok, though you sounded a bit shaken. I hope I didn't bug you with my call, I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

According to the flight tracker, your second flight took off about 20 minutes late, so I guess all that running through IAH did you no good. Sorry. Hope you got a good seat and a cocktail quickly.

Looks like you have just flown past the coast line and are now looking out over the gulf. Ahh, the lovely brown ocean water, what a site! ;) Only an hour and a half left of this flight and you will be on Mexican soil!

So, I am thinking after you get back this weekend that we should have another girls-night-out. There has got to be a chick flick on that we need to see.

You are now at cruising altitude of 34000 feet. You can relax, move about the cabin, whatever you wish. Hopefully you are able to get some rest or take in a movie.

Looks like you just passed over the tip end of Texas and are now heading into Mexico. Only 1 hour left to go.

Unfortunately from this point on, tracker doesn't do updates. Apparently they don't track in other countries. So, I guess I'll wait for your call. You have 34 minutes left of the flight and I am sure it will arrive safely.

I will track your return flights on Friday. Have a good week!

Until,

D :)

Little Wing Part 1

Hello m'dear K. I am tracking your flights today and thought I would blog your progress. It looks like your first flight left about 20 minutes late - yikes! That's going to make the 35 minute layover in H-town only 15 minutes - I hope you can get to the next gate in time! It's 1:38 and the plane has made a turn and is now in it's final decent. I hope the drugs are calming your nerves and Mr. A is holding your hand.

Here is the progress so far. Looks like a smooth flight. Hope you didn't hit any turbulence. That's what bothers me the most. Well, actually the landing and take-off bother me the most, but turbulence freaks me out. It's that control thing I have. Ok, flight tracker sucks because I just refreshed the screen and it now says you landed 14 minutes ago. *hrumph*

On a totally unrelated note, Kiddo will probably spend the next few days puking and pooping his guts out as I just caught him drinking dirty rain water off of the lid of a Rubbermaid tub out side. *gack!*

So your next flight is at 2:20. Hopefully it will be smooth and steady and you can play on the computer or something. I will say a prayer for you.

Until,

D :)

And We Cry Holy, Holy, Holy

ETA: If you are Google-ing and trying to find the song lyrics or video, please click here.

Ahh, Monday morning. It's quiet, we slept in a bit and I woke up with terrible back pain again. I thought my back problems were over but I guess that was just wishful thinking. My back has been bothering me for a few days now. So I start my day with a big cup of coffee and a handful of ibuprofen. *sigh*

Thankfully Kiddo seems to be in a good mood. He went to bed about 10:30 last night. He crawled into bed with me sometime after 6:30 and slept there till 9:30. That's a pretty long night for him. He had a nap yesterday too. I wonder if he might be having a growth spurt. That would explain my back issues.

Yesterday we went to a new church. We decided to try out this gigantic bible church about 20 minutes away. The main building of this place has 4 floors and a congregation of about 2000 people twice on Sundays. That's 4000! It's funny, we've attended some large churches in town, much larger than this, but this church felt much more busy than anything I've been to.

We dropped Kiddo off in the childcare. This is always a test for me. If Kiddo resists, I have been known to take that as a sign that the church may not be for us. If I, as the neurotic first time mommy, am treated poorly this does not bode well for the church either. Yesterday though, we checked him in at the welcome desk and filled out the paperwork among swarms of people. They divide the kids up by age of course but have enough children that each room holds kids that have only 3 months difference in age, instead of the usual 1 yr olds, 2 yr old, 3 yr olds, etc. We were walked back to the room (one of probably 10 in the hallway) and checked him in at the door. He didn't even look back; just strolled on in and started playing like he'd been there a million times before. Before I even had the opportunity to check things out or talk to the teacher, we were whisked away to the sanctuary.

The security measures for childcare involve each child being assigned a number and the child and parents receive identical numbered cards. The child's card is clipped to the back of his/her shirt and the parents hold the other for identity purposes at pick up. If there is a problem with your child during the service, the number is flashed up on a screen in the sanctuary. Everything happened so fast with dropping Kiddo off that all I could do was cling to that card. It was my only connection to him; the only thing that could identify me as his mom and he as my son. It was such a scary thought. My child doesn't know how to identify himself. He can't tell you his name, he doesn't know mine and there was nothing on him with his name. What if he lost his tag, or got separated from the group? The teacher said as we were leaving that they were going to go outside and play - how did 2 adults keep track of so many 2 year olds? Kiddo is not known for smooth transitions from play situations; how were they going to get him back inside? The thoughts were racing through my head as we sat in the comfortably padded theater style seats of the sanctuary. I clung to the card so tightly that it left indentions in my moist palm.

I don't think I heard a word of the hour long service. My time was spent trying to relax, to stop shaking, worrying, fretting. It was only an hour and 15 minutes, I could do that. I could suffer the Kiddo-ectomy for that long. Thousands of people drop off their children each Sunday, and I haven't heard any news stories lately of anything bad happening. He would be fine. We would be reunited in just a short while. Lord, please bring us back together safely. Please let him have a good time and help me Lord, please, to relax.

On top of all of that, I was also dealing with being in church for the first time in a few weeks. Even though I think of myself and certainly my family as being spiritual, christian and trying to daily walk in God's will, the act of going to church often eludes us. We don't go very regularly- for many reasons (none of them good) but when we do and I am actually in the service I tend to go through a mild exorcism of sorts. I am always overcome with emotion and spend most of the service trying to hold back tears. By the time everything was over, and though I could not tell you the first thing about what was said, I was spiritually, emotionally and physically drained.

Weak from hunger, thirst, and emotional distress we practically sprinted back to Kiddo's room (well, I sprinted, Hubby just tried to keep up), dodging the hundreds of people swarming the hallways doing just the same thing. When we got to the door, he was fine; happily (and nicely) playing with the other kids, he couldn't care less that we were there. After calling his name a few times I guess he figured he better come to us. When I scooped him up he gave me a truly heartfelt hug and sweet pats on the back. He smelled so good and sweet and was warm and squishy and I felt like I had been separated from him for far too long. He was talkative and happy and though we were leaving his new friends and fun toys, he didn't put up a fuss at all. We three walked out hand in hand, like a real family; talking and laughing and having fun. It was a rare, special moment.

As for the church itself, it may be a good candidate for us. It's big enough that we can ease into it at our own pace. That is, we can be anonymous long enough to get comfortable and not feel pressured by members to get involved before we are ready. I actually prefer, for the long run, a smaller church setting, but for my family as a whole a bigger church is probably a better fit. Also, and this is HUGE, there are people our age there. Most of the churches we've been to recently may have one or two couples our age - no really. But probably 80% of this church's congregation is made up of couples in thier 30s. The only "real" problem I have with it is the music. Don't roll your eyes. I know. But you have to understand that church music is what got me into church to begin with. It was my first and most influential exposure to Christianity and salvation and because of those beginnings I am a bit of a church music snob. This church has a praise band and 4 singers that lead all of the music. They have a choir that is open to everyone (re: no audition necessary) and it performs maybe once a month. The regular singers lead the music in a rock concert-like fashion every Sunday. And even though the band is much better than most that I've seen and the singers lead songs that are slightly more than your average, yucky "praise music", I still lament the fact that if we commit to this church there really won't be an outlet for me to sing in on a regular basis. Which really all that means is that if I want to get back into a good choral music setting, I will have to find one outside the convenience of a church home. Which, by all standards of my life, means I am even less likely to find something and do something about it. Oh well.

At least we are moving in a positive direction.
Until,
D

Momma's Little Hero

Ack - I couldn't just leave those up there unedited. Here they are for real this time. I didn't do much, just brightened them up a bit.

Until,

D :)

Sunshine Superman

Ok, if you want to claim to be a photographer, never, ever, ever leave home with just the camera and not the bag with your EXTRA battery! Seriously, what the heck was I thinking? You know, I even checked the battery in the camera before I left and it looked ok. Now that I think about it, it was already saying the juice was low - ummm, hello? Brain? Oh brain, where are you?

Kiddo and I went to the park today. The mom's group was meeting and I haven't been to an event in forever and it was absolutely gorgeous out AND I didn't take him anywhere yesterday, and we have a touch of cabin fever, and I needed to get some pictures (and this is the longest run on sentence EVER) so we went. Kiddo had a blast! He ran, he climbed, he wanted to slide but didn't get quite that brave, but he did learn to fling himself off of the spinning deal that scares the beejeebers out of me (thank you adventurous 3 year old that thought crash landing was funny, now my kid thinks it's funny too). He dug in the dirt and laid face first in the dirt and jumped in the dirt; oh excuse me, gravel. That is by far the dirtiest gravel I've ever seen. We were both covered head to toe in dust when we left. But, I have to say that is by far one of my favorite parks. One, because it is so close to me, two, because of how big and spread out it is, and three because there are lots of different things to do and even when it is crowded you don't feel like your kid is going to get run over. (ok, that was four things)

Anyway, my goal was to get some pictures of the cutie patootie, but I only got 5 shots fired before my battery died. pppbbbbbttttt! So, so aggravating. Never again will I go anywhere with my camera and not an extra battery. The day was perfect for pictures. The sun was a little hot at times, but I totally could have worked around that. Anyway, here are 2 of the 5 I got.

AHH HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA! What kind of face is that?!?

Ok, in my defense the thing was spinning. This was the last shot before the battery died and I was having trouble getting the camera to focus. Oh well. And, I didn't edit these at all because really, what's the point?

The other three pics have another child in them and I'm not sure how K would feel about me posting pics of her kiddo, but they are pretty cute. The two boys were having a very serious little gibberish conversation on the spinney thing; it was a beautiful moment. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to share. Hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say later.

Until,

D :)

A Life Uncommon

Looks like BabyCenter is having some difficulty so I am forced to do something else right now. I know, I could be cleaning or cooking or laundry or playing with Kiddo - but I don't want to clean, dinner is in the crock pot, Kiddo is out in the yard playing by himself and the laundry, well it can wait.

As with most days, but especially Mondays, I have been doing a lot of surfing on the computer today. Mondays tend to be my decompression day; I unwind from the weekend, enjoy the solitude of my cup of coffee and my computer in the morning and start my week with absolutely nothing on my plate. I was looking at some one's profile on a website today, snooping really; just checking in maybe? whatever you want to call it - and this person had one of those goofy questionnaires on the page. You know the ones, they ask 50-100 ridiculous questions about your likes and dislikes, habits and pet peeves, etc. and the very last question asked if they had any regrets. His response was "one". Hmmm, a bit curious, don't you think?

It got me thinking about regrets. We all have them I'm sure. I have them, but they are not necessarily bad things. I mean, if I knew what I was getting into at the time, I probably wouldn't have done something I regret. And if I hadn't done those things, I wouldn't be who I am today. And who I am today is pretty ok. I guess. Right? So I guess really I have no regrets.

But what about this guy? What is his "one" regret? What could have possibly been so significant in his life that it is the one thing, "The One Thing" that he regrets? Well, the possibilities are endless I guess. But what if that one regret was a person? Ooh, wouldn't that be interesting? What if that one regret was me?

I know what you're thinking, narcissistic much?

No, I don't think I am that significant, but we did cross paths in life on many occasion. And I strongly believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. I believe God puts them in your path to mold you and make you who He wants you to be. Every person leaves their mark; no matter how small. And what if the mark I left really made a difference? Something to ponder I guess.

But not for long. I have laundry to do. ;)

Do you have any regrets? What are they - if you don't mind sharing? I look forward to your comments.

Until,

D :)

Again and Again

Kiddo's vocabulary is exploding. These days he can repeat pretty much anything we say with accuracy after only hearing it once. Sometimes we have to sound out a word for him slowly or he'll mangle it, but he is still rather awesome at parroting everything we say. For the most part, he still doesn't have very good conversation skills though. He can ask for something, but in a question/answer/retort type situation he often resorts to gibberish.

One of Kiddo's favorite phrases is "I smell something". We say it to him, it's in a couple of his books and I think the Little Einsteins say it a time or two. Kiddo utters the phrase with much inflection and articulation, but rarely does he say it in actual response to an odor. So, this morning, Kiddo and Hubby were "conversing" on the couch. Mostly gibberish, giggling and funny noises were exchanged, but then...

Kiddo: "I smell something!"

Hubby: (not looking up from his magazine) "You smell something?"

Kiddo: "I smelllll..."

Hubby: (not really paying attention) "I know, you smell."

Kiddo: "YOU smell!"

He said it with the most sincerity I have ever heard from his little mouth. We must have laughed for 5 minutes.

Well, it was funny to us anyway. ;)

Until,

D :)

Sometimes It Be That Way

There is a twist-tie in my shower. Every day I look at it and think, "I need to take that out and throw it away" and every day by the time I get out of the shower I've forgotten all about it. It's been there about a week I guess. How did it get there you ask? Well I'll tell you.

One day I was in the shower and Kiddo decided he was hungry. The child cannot adhere to an eating schedule and knows exactly how to get into the pantry, cupboards, the refrigerator, etc. So there I was in the shower, enjoying the steam and the bathroom door opens. "Mommy, bread? Mommy, bread?" and he toddles in with a loaf of bread about as tall as he is. Being a good and dutiful Mommy (and really wanting him to close the door because he was letting out all my wonderful steam) I stepped one foot out of the shower and opened the bag of bread. He ran off before I could close it back up and so I was left holding the twist-tie.

My entire house is full of forgotten twist-ties. Not the actual item, but things I see and think I should do something about and then quickly forget. Maybe I am just forgetful, but I think it has to do with the dreaded Mommy Multitasking. You know how it is, your cooking dinner and loading the dishwasher and filling up a bowl of water in the sink while you change a diaper, then stop by the washer on the way back to the kitchen to throw in another load and empty the dryer, but then you leave the clean clothes in the hall so you can sprint into the living room and rescue the dog being chased by the boy who has spilled juice all over the carpet, so you go get a towel and notice the mail sitting on the table and remember you have to pay that bill today, oh yes and the mortgage too so you go get the check book and walk past the sink that is now overflowing, you stop the water - see where this is going?

That is why I love my shower. For the most part, I can trust Kiddo to occupy himself for 20 minutes or so while I shower. Sometimes he comes in the bathroom with me and will play in front of the mirror or try to talk to me through the glass, but mostly I can shower in relative peace. I absolutely hate it though when he comes in and out the entire time. I am very cold natured, so showers must be HOT and the room must be warm as well. Nothing irks me more than getting the bathroom nice and warm and steamy and someone opening the door. Anyway, in the shower I have no need to multitask. I have my routine of course, but usually I can squeeze in a minute or so of just letting the water pour over me. I can think, I can cry, I can laugh or I can just zone out. It is nice.

The twist-tie, like everything else, will still be there tomorrow.
Until,
D :)

A Day in the Life

Wake up. Day 8. Still nothing. What the heck is wrong with me? Coffee, coffee, breakfast for Kiddo, quick shower, dress everyone, quick IM chat, head out the door. Drive over to favorite doughnut place for kolaches and blueberry cake doughnuts because today is a cruddy day and I want it. Sit in the drive thru line for 5 minutes. "Open" neon still on, but no one comes to the window. Ugh. Drive off, cursing crappy doughnut place, thinking about peanut butter crackers in purse. Yuck.

Drive for 30 minutes across town to "clinic" for blood test. Conversation on phone yesterday: Quiet Girl says no need for appointment, but must get there before nurse leaves for the day for brief "consultation". Arrive in plenty of time, told immediately would have to wait because nurse is booked up for the day. Reminded QG she said no need for appointment (while holding squirming 2 year old), can't wait because of squirming 2 year old. Turn off ringing cell phone and remember seeing a strict "no phone" policy sign on door. QG says, right, no appointment needed, but wait required until people with appointments have been seen. ugh. QG also says, results in 1 and 1/2 weeks - WHAT? If I had a week and a half to wait I wouldn't need the darn blood test! Leave exasperated and defeated after squirming 2 year old knocks large stack of forms off the counter and scatters them everywhere. (yes, I picked them up)

Get outside and check message on cell phone. Hubby: I left my phone at home, if you haven't left yet could you bring it to me? *sigh* Call Hubby, cry about failed attempt at test, tell him he can have my phone. Head over to his office. Hubby suggests I call my ob, explain no insurance and see if they can do the test. Lose track of thought while listening to Hubby, get on wrong freeway, curse, get off freeway, turn around to again head toward Hubby's office.

Kiddo happy to see Hubby in parking lot. Call ob nurse. Sure, can do test. Same day results? Yes. They will call back to let me know when I can come in. Cost?? Don't know. Decide to go to grocery for another test, leave Hubby without cell phone.

Drag Kiddo through grocery. Buy test. Total $13.13 - that can't be good. Go to McDonald's to appease Kiddo with french fries. Test in gross fast food bathroom. Negative. Up to counter to place order, squirming Kiddo on hip, vagrants all over the place, lots of screaming kids. This is why I never come here. Poor guy tries to take my order over the commotion and phone rings. Dr.'s office - gotta take it. I can come by after 1:30 - great. That gives us about an hour to eat and hang out. Kiddo loves McDonald's. Lovingly hugs me every so often between bites of grease-laden potato, my stomach is turning just from breathing in the grease-laden air. $8 for a half eaten happy meal and barely touched something I didn't even want.

Finish eating, Kiddo wants to play on gigantic outdoor play area. It's cold, the play thing is really more suited for older kids. I take Kiddo away screaming and promise him we'll go play across the street at Chick-fil-A. Indoor, smaller play scape there. Kiddo screams all the way over, thru the parking lot and the restaurant. Get into play area, he's happy. After about 15 minutes of shyness, he makes a friend or two and climbs all the way to the top. Hangs out there for the rest of the time. I watch small creatures wipe handfuls of snot on every surface of play scape. Make mental note to bathe in alcohol later. It is time to go, I can't get him down. Call his name, he looks at me with mischievous grin from 15 feet up. There is no way my 6 ft. frame can get up in that thing. Moms look at me with evil grins. How's she going to get him down? hee hee hee. Cute, petite mom tells me she climbed up in it 7 months pregnant. Yeah well, there's a foot and a half less of you to fold up. Call Hubby to see if he wants to come over and hang out while I run to get blood drawn. He can't leave work. I pray Kiddo comes down, I call his name, he hides in tunnel. I pray some more; look to other moms for maybe a helpful hint. They avoid my gaze. Finally kick my shoes off in defeat and look up to notice small heard of children shoving Kiddo in the tunnel that goes to the slide. Say quick prayer that he follows them. Suddenly a big ball-o-kid comes down the slide. Arms and legs and heads everywhere, Kiddo's big grin right in the middle. Hallelujah! I scoop him up, he says "FUN, SLIDE, AGAIN!!!!". I say no time to go, he screams bloody murder, we quickly exit. Now the mom's look at me. great.

Kiddo's diaper is soaked. Look for emergency bag, it's not in the car. Neither are the wipes, or a change of clothing. Great, just great. Pray diaper will hold a little longer. Have to force Kiddo into car seat. He screams all the way to the Dr. We get out, go to the office and I sign in. Get brought back to the lab, blood drawn, tech says - we'll have the results for you first thing in the morning. I collapse in a heap of tears. I need to know TODAY. They told me I could get results today! Open enrollment ends today, I need to know. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing tech says she's a single mom of three, she understands (what the heck does that mean?) she'll draw again and do a quick test on the sly. Don't tell anyone 'cause they'll charge me extra. Who cares, I just need the test! I thank her profusely, she tells me to come back in 15 minutes. Kiddo and I go walk laps around the floor. He thinks it's fun to count the glass windows around the edge and hug the gigantic round pillars that are every 10 feet. We make a game out of it, he has lots of fun. Again I pray the diaper holds. We go back in after 15 minutes. Kiddo sits on my lap and I feel something wet on my leg. No, no, no! Please make this quick. Tech calls me back to tell me the test was negative. She has sad look on her face, then seems confused that I am not sad with her. I thank her again and quickly leave.

Kiddo crashes out in car on drive home, wakes every so often to cry out because he is soaked. I cry the whole way home. Relieved, I guess, disappointed too. Still don't have an answer to why I'm late. Scared about that. Curse the insurance company for forcing us to wait another year. Mourn because it puts Kiddo that much closer to being an only child. This is not what I wanted.

Summary: days late - 8
hours in the car away from home - 6
cruddy clinic - 1
sad/happy/scared/happy/sad/wet/sleepy toddler - 1
at home tests - $13.13
junk food - $8
test at ob's office - God only knows$????
Lots of tears and gasoline and miles on the car
All of that only to actually start the next day, on Hubby's birthday. Priceless

I need a vacation.
D :)