Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Unwritten

In as much as I hate this "terrible three" age with the Kiddo I totally and completely love it as well. There is so much about his little personality that I want to document and talk about - I just wish I could have a camera crew follow him around 24/7 for a few days so we don't miss anything. I know he is going to change so quickly, and worse yet, I know that once this new guy arrives on the scene, my poor, sweet, wonderful Kiddo is going to have to take a back seat to much of the goings on. I hate that for him. It makes me all weepy just writing about it.

Kiddo really is such an adorable little guy. And he makes me laugh and smile and just squee with joy every day. At the same time he brings out my anger and frustration with such ease, and I marvel at just how good he is at provoking every emotion I am capable of with such little effort.

Just now he wanted "some-ping to eat" and went to the fridge. His usual snack of choice is cheese, so he found the kind he wanted (I keep several on hand) and pulled it out. It was a big block, and needed to be cut so I got up and went to the kitchen. Kiddo wanted to help me, he loves using the marble cheese cutter, so I pulled out the cutter and proceeded to get the cheese out of the ziploc bag. Kiddo is saying to me "ok, now focus!" (visualize Lightning McQueen getting ready for the race) as I am pulling it out and I chuckled. I put the cheese on the marble and he cut a nice slice. I handed it over and he takes a bite, then does his "happy food dance" - the very one he has done since his first bite of avocado at 6 months old. I love that little bobbing dance. I asked him if it was good and he says, "dee-licious!". Man, I love this kid.

I love it when he sings songs - he stops cold for the Pantene commercial that has the song "Unwritten" in it. He loves that song! The other night in the tub he busted out with the full version of the Barney "I Love You, You Love Me" song, complete with all the right words. I couldn't believe it.

Times like this make me really wish we could afford to put him in music lessons or school or something. I feel like I am doing him such a disservice by not affording him opportunities to learn and nurture his underlying talents. I know there is still time for all that, but I do feel the earlier you start these things, the more they are capable of learning. When I think about teaching him myself, I get all tight in the chest and my confidence goes right out the window. I don't think he would listen to me anyway.

But my Kiddo picks up on more and more each day. And in all his frustrations I am seeing so many wonderful moments. I soak them up as much as I can and pray I never forget anything. I want to preserve this age in him forever.

I know that there will be lots more moments and ages that I think are even better, but this is the last few months of it being just he and I, and the last time he will be an only child. I hope he can appreciate having a sibling in a way I was never fortunate enough to experience. I hope I can cope with there being more than one child in the house, and that I can provide just as much love and adoration to this new guy as I have been able to give Kiddo for 3 years. And I hope that I don't lose the intense bond and closeness the Kiddo and I share. He is and always has been so very special to me, and I thank God every single day for blessing me with the most wonderful little boy in the world.

Ack, I can't even see my keyboard anymore to type. I better go dry my eyes.

Until,
D :)

3 comments:

Julia said...

I know exactly how you feel about the impending arrival of our new little blessing. Rest assured that S will be just fine developmentally and that you're not hindering any learning by not having him in classes. Children even out by 2nd grade, and classes or no classes, children who come from a loving home that fosters creativity and learning have a natural curiosity that cannot be taught. :) It's just inherent in how they see the world. We only do all the classes for C because she is a child who is on high energy mode all the time, and that drives mommy crazy! I don't think there is any "right way" to teach your child. Obviously if S is blossoming, you must be doing something right!

Carrie said...

You know I heard a woman say once that you can tell which kids have been to preschool because they already know how to stand in line. Of course that is not all they learn there, but giving your child YOU with the love YOU have for him that can't be duplicated is a (dare I say?) far better thing. I sat on the couch and held Lily bawling my eyes out one afternoon before Patrick was born. I TOTALLY understand. But one thing I learned, that though her world did change once he arrived, she was just so absolutely thrilled with him and being a big sister that she couldn't take her eyes or her chubby little hands off of him. It is a memory I will always cherish. And you'll see a different side of Seth and it will be thrilling! (And sometimes annoying, I won't lie....) I know it is bittersweet.......cry all you like. Your hormones give you a good excuse :)

Carrie said...

You know I heard a woman say once that you can tell which kids have been to preschool because they already know how to stand in line. Of course that is not all they learn there, but giving your child YOU with the love YOU have for him that can't be duplicated is a (dare I say?) far better thing. I sat on the couch and held Lily bawling my eyes out one afternoon before Patrick was born. I TOTALLY understand. But one thing I learned, that though her world did change once he arrived, she was just so absolutely thrilled with him and being a big sister that she couldn't take her eyes or her chubby little hands off of him. It is a memory I will always cherish. And you'll see a different side of Seth and it will be thrilling! (And sometimes annoying, I won't lie....) I know it is bittersweet.......cry all you like. Your hormones give you a good excuse :)