Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What Matters is the Heart

Well, I am officially 28 weeks now. That means that I have less than 3 months to get ready for this baby. I have done absolutely nothing at this point. I don't know what I am waiting for, just that essentially I am at a loss as to what needs to be done.

I am getting that question now, "what do you need for the baby?". Well, honestly, I cannot think of anything we actually need as far as gear, clothes and the common baby items go (except for maybe wipes - but I only pretty much like one brand (Target unscented) and am also debating on using cloth wipes this time too. I could also use a couple of sling/carriers, but I don't know what I want yet.) We pretty much kept everything from Kiddo - and it is all stashed somewhere in this tiny house.

So I have been thinking hard about what I really need. I mean, what really would help me once the baby gets here. Isn't that the real question anyway? Aren't people trying to help? So, here is a partial list of the unusual "things" I need and/or would like to have for little Port.

  1. I need someone to come to my house once or twice (or three times) and help me sort through all of Kiddo's old stuff to see exactly what I have and don't have. We need to make lists and check off needed items, what those items might need (like new batteries, etc.) and find a place to put everything. No small task if you ask me.
  2. I would like to consider putting Kiddo in some sort of 2 day a week mother's day out or preschool program. Another alternative would be to find Kiddo a buddy. He is so lonely and he wants to play with other kids all the time, but I am just too busy, lazy, antisocial, whatever to make that happen for him on a regular basis, and after newbie gets here my motivation will be even less. But, I think a school environment would be so good for him on so many levels, but I just don't know how we can swing it.
  3. I would love a maid/cleaning service or individual to come out once a month or so and deep clean my house for a few months. I can absolutely tell you that I will not be feeling up to cleaning my house for a while. Heck, I'm not feeling up to cleaning it now! Again, something we can't afford, but that would really come in handy.
  4. I would love for someone (or more than one someone) to drop off a dinner every now and then. It would be great to have some frozen meals in my freezer that I can just pop in the oven on the nights I don't feel like cooking.
  5. I would love to have someone to hang out with who has a new baby (and older child) too, and could commit to us helping each other out during the early months when I know I will have lots of "I just want to go hide in the closet" days. We can put the babies on a blanket in the floor together and just talk, or not, or cry, or whatever strikes us at that moment and let the big kids keep each other company.
  6. I need to know that there will be times that I can spend with just the Kiddo, because his mental and emotional health during this big life transition is very important to me.
  7. I also need to know that there will be times of just the baby and I too, so that we can develop a special bond as well.

I know this is not a traditional list and the items on it are not cheap or easy to do. Some of these things I would only expect from Hubby or relatives or very, very close friends. For the rest of you who want to do something nice, it warms my heart that and I am so appreciative, but I really honestly can't think of anything other than just being here for me if I do think of something. And I also want to say that if there are others out there that need/want these things as well when their babies come, I would be more than happy to reciprocate. Heck, I will even help start a program for new moms if need be. I just think that sometimes we all need things that cannot be registered for or bought at the store. I think we need more emotional and practical support, and that we often fall into the trap of trying to find things that would fit in a nice package.

And I have also been thinking of things that I need to do...

  • figure out what kind of diaper to use at the beginning. I am set with cloth for the 6 month on ages, but the newborn stuff is still up in the air. I would love some advice form cd'ing mommas that have done this before. We didn't start cd'ing Kiddo until about 5 months. I have a few newborn cloth dipes, but honestly don't know how to use them or which works best. I am thinking about prefolds and covers, but know nothing about them and have very little money to spend. Help!?!
  • get all the photography stuff out of my bedroom (which means cleaning out the spare room closet and putting it all in there - and possible getting rid of some of it: anyone need some solid colored blankets and odd props?? I am cleaning house!) and go ahead and set up the crib in there.
  • I also need to find a replacement dresser for Kiddo's room as I think his current dresser is best suited for the newbie (it has a changing table on top). Anyone have suggestions for an inexpensive, nice kids dresser? I should probably take a trip to IKEA and also look on craigslist for bargains.
  • I really, really NEED for Hubby and I to spend an entire weekend working together to finally, once and for all put away and throw away all the things that need to be put and thrown away.
  • and all this of course, is on top of all the washing, sorting, assembling and whatnot that comes with preparing for a new baby. Just add all that stuff to the list too. Never mind the fact I need to register with the hospital, pack a bag, pick a coming home outfit, etc. oh boy, this is getting overwhelming.

These are just my random thoughts at the moment. I guess the overall feeling is that I don't really need stuff, I just need help. Does that make sense to anyone or am I being completely weird or selfish here? I don't know. My hormones are all in a tither lately. I can't really recognize rational thought at this point. ;)

I have a huge desire to purge things from the house, but the moment I start the task becomes completely overwhelming and I am frozen with....with....well, I just can't seem to do it. It makes me want to run away that's for sure.

Can I come to your house? ;)

D :)

p.s. And why is it that even yogurt gives me heartburn??? ugh.


emilee said...

You may want to call The Cleaning Authority if your looking for a maid. They are great and they offer a detail-clean rotation system. Check out there website www.thecleaningauthority.com.

Julia said...

In the 2-3 weeks before the big due date, I nest like crazy with baking and cooking. My mom is coming to stay with me for a short time; the last time I gave away everything I made. I'll just give you what I make because my mom cooks me so much food that I had to clear the freezer for her stuff. :) We can lament our woes together since Port and Noah will only just be days apart. Have you looked into MDO programs at churches? They are usually not as expensive as private preschools, and waitlisting/enrollment begins Feb. I've heard most are under $200 for the month for 3 days a week, half days. I don't know about two day programs though.

TitanKT said...

I wish I could be your friend, even if I don't have a baby and a toddler. And I can't reasonably help with most of that other stuff... but I'm wishing SO BAD right now that I could cook and freeze somethings for you that I'm about to get on the FedEx or UPS site and see if I can send frozen food... do you like lasagna?

Barb said...

Oh I could so sit in the closet with you - or let our new babies roll on the floor together!

You can come to my house but I don't think it would be any more organized either!

But I totally know what you mean about being frozen in the what to do and when to get it done. I have 5 weeks - eek I found the onesies...or at least I think I did!

Dawn said...

OMGoodness Katy! You are so sweet to want to do that! I am really blown away. :D Please don't go to all that trouble, it just means the world to me that you would even think about it. (((hugs))) I wish you were closer - I think we'd be good friends. :)

Julia, thanks for the suggestions. I do need to look at some church MDOs around here. And yes, I do expect you and I to be getting together quite often in the near future! ;) Feel free to pass on any extra goodies you may make during your nesting. :D You are lucky to have your mom staying with you and helping you out.

Oh Barb - you are so close! I can't wait to see your new little one! I wish you lived closer too!

Abby said...

Oh if you lived closer!!!!!!!!!

On cd'ing, I am new to it. I did also order some cloth wipes. I am getting tired of sorting out poopy wipes from poopy diapers. I will let you know how that goes.

As for newborns, I did disposables for the most part. With two other kids it was too much. I can say that what fit the best was either prefolds and a cover or a fitted and cover. The best covers were Thirsties. Shoot me an e-mail if you want. I can give more info that way.

jhjohnstone said...

Oh Dawn, how well you documented what so many soon-to-be mothers are feeling. I wish I lived closer too, I would help you out in a sec. But NC is a little far from TX! :-) I hope all the things on your list come together somehow. ((HUGS))

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