What Matters is the Heart

Well, I am officially 28 weeks now. That means that I have less than 3 months to get ready for this baby. I have done absolutely nothing at this point. I don't know what I am waiting for, just that essentially I am at a loss as to what needs to be done.

I am getting that question now, "what do you need for the baby?". Well, honestly, I cannot think of anything we actually need as far as gear, clothes and the common baby items go (except for maybe wipes - but I only pretty much like one brand (Target unscented) and am also debating on using cloth wipes this time too. I could also use a couple of sling/carriers, but I don't know what I want yet.) We pretty much kept everything from Kiddo - and it is all stashed somewhere in this tiny house.

So I have been thinking hard about what I really need. I mean, what really would help me once the baby gets here. Isn't that the real question anyway? Aren't people trying to help? So, here is a partial list of the unusual "things" I need and/or would like to have for little Port.

1. I need someone to come to my house once or twice (or three times) and help me sort through all of Kiddo's old stuff to see exactly what I have and don't have. We need to make lists and check off needed items, what those items might need (like new batteries, etc.) and find a place to put everything. No small task if you ask me.
2. I would like to consider putting Kiddo in some sort of 2 day a week mother's day out or preschool program. Another alternative would be to find Kiddo a buddy. He is so lonely and he wants to play with other kids all the time, but I am just too busy, lazy, antisocial, whatever to make that happen for him on a regular basis, and after newbie gets here my motivation will be even less. But, I think a school environment would be so good for him on so many levels, but I just don't know how we can swing it.
3. I would love a maid/cleaning service or individual to come out once a month or so and deep clean my house for a few months. I can absolutely tell you that I will not be feeling up to cleaning my house for a while. Heck, I'm not feeling up to cleaning it now! Again, something we can't afford, but that would really come in handy.
4. I would love for someone (or more than one someone) to drop off a dinner every now and then. It would be great to have some frozen meals in my freezer that I can just pop in the oven on the nights I don't feel like cooking.
5. I would love to have someone to hang out with who has a new baby (and older child) too, and could commit to us helping each other out during the early months when I know I will have lots of "I just want to go hide in the closet" days. We can put the babies on a blanket in the floor together and just talk, or not, or cry, or whatever strikes us at that moment and let the big kids keep each other company.
6. I need to know that there will be times that I can spend with just the Kiddo, because his mental and emotional health during this big life transition is very important to me.
7. I also need to know that there will be times of just the baby and I too, so that we can develop a special bond as well.

I know this is not a traditional list and the items on it are not cheap or easy to do. Some of these things I would only expect from Hubby or relatives or very, very close friends. For the rest of you who want to do something nice, it warms my heart that and I am so appreciative, but I really honestly can't think of anything other than just being here for me if I do think of something. And I also want to say that if there are others out there that need/want these things as well when their babies come, I would be more than happy to reciprocate. Heck, I will even help start a program for new moms if need be. I just think that sometimes we all need things that cannot be registered for or bought at the store. I think we need more emotional and practical support, and that we often fall into the trap of trying to find things that would fit in a nice package.

And I have also been thinking of things that I need to do...

• figure out what kind of diaper to use at the beginning. I am set with cloth for the 6 month on ages, but the newborn stuff is still up in the air. I would love some advice form cd'ing mommas that have done this before. We didn't start cd'ing Kiddo until about 5 months. I have a few newborn cloth dipes, but honestly don't know how to use them or which works best. I am thinking about prefolds and covers, but know nothing about them and have very little money to spend. Help!?!
• get all the photography stuff out of my bedroom (which means cleaning out the spare room closet and putting it all in there - and possible getting rid of some of it: anyone need some solid colored blankets and odd props?? I am cleaning house!) and go ahead and set up the crib in there.
• I also need to find a replacement dresser for Kiddo's room as I think his current dresser is best suited for the newbie (it has a changing table on top). Anyone have suggestions for an inexpensive, nice kids dresser? I should probably take a trip to IKEA and also look on craigslist for bargains.
• I really, really NEED for Hubby and I to spend an entire weekend working together to finally, once and for all put away and throw away all the things that need to be put and thrown away.
• and all this of course, is on top of all the washing, sorting, assembling and whatnot that comes with preparing for a new baby. Just add all that stuff to the list too. Never mind the fact I need to register with the hospital, pack a bag, pick a coming home outfit, etc. oh boy, this is getting overwhelming.

These are just my random thoughts at the moment. I guess the overall feeling is that I don't really need stuff, I just need help. Does that make sense to anyone or am I being completely weird or selfish here? I don't know. My hormones are all in a tither lately. I can't really recognize rational thought at this point. ;)

I have a huge desire to purge things from the house, but the moment I start the task becomes completely overwhelming and I am frozen with....with....well, I just can't seem to do it. It makes me want to run away that's for sure.

Can I come to your house? ;)

Until,
D :)

p.s. And why is it that even yogurt gives me heartburn??? ugh.